The Plastic Hippo

April 21, 2014

He is risen

theway.co.uk

theway.co.uk

In these days of dissenters, heretics and false prophets, it is important to make clear that David Cameron did not compare himself to Jesus Christ and did not claim to be the Messiah; he`s just a very naughty boy.

The Prime Minister might well be moving in mysterious ways but to erroneously attribute him with divinity merely diminishes the true gospel according to Dave. If we are to adhere to the First Council of Nicaea which established Easter as the first Sunday after the Paschal Full Moon following the March equinox and, let`s face it, why would we not schedule our financial, academic and industrial calendars around a moveable feast set in stone close to the Thracian Bosporus in 325 AD, then Cameron`s Easter message to Christian leaders at a Number 10 gathering is as timely as it is mischievous. (more…)

April 17, 2014

Through the looking glass

Filed under: Literature,Media,Politics — theplastichippo @ 3:30 pm
Tags: , , ,
Duck Soup

Duck Soup

“If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn`t. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn`t be. And what it wouldn`t be, it would. You see?”
Lewis Carroll (1832-1898)

It is becoming increasingly difficult to make any sense whatsoever of what is going on in the world and being blessed or cursed to live in these interesting times would perplex even the absurdity tolerance of Alice in Wonderland. All logic and common sense has disappeared and irony is reflected away into vapour from the shattered fragments of the political mirror. Hypocrisy has been promoted from being desirable to being essential on the curriculum vitae of those that aspire to govern. (more…)

April 13, 2014

Careless in the community

Telegraph.co.uk

Telegraph.co.uk

In imagined nostalgia, there was a time when a community was defined by its pub, church, post office and school and life in merry old England revolved from cradle to grave with reassuring certainty. In present reality, however, dark forces are at work hatching dastardly plots intended to subvert our culture by infiltrating communities with hard line, fundamentalist extremists hell-bent on imposing warped dogma and alien ideology.

The pub is now a Tesco Express and the church is falling down but remains a lucrative long-term real estate investment opportunity. The post office is long gone and has been replaced with a food bank next to a loan shark. The school is now an Academy named after an unfamiliar sponsor and the community is now defined by hedge funds rather than hedgerows. (more…)

April 8, 2014

Miller`s tale

Image via telegraph.co.uk

Image via telegraph.co.uk

Regardless of hysterical media frenzy, the fate of the Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport remains completely and utterly inconsequential and even if Maria Miller resigns or is banished to wander the barren corridors of the Welsh Office in perpetuity, there are plenty of thieving hypocrites perfectly qualified to take her place.

With the entire disorder spectrum of the press screaming for her blood, poor Maria is clearly a victim of lynch mob rhetoric not experienced since England gave up playing cricket and we need to consider why she is being singled out as a fraudster when the majority of her fellow MPs consider embezzlement to be a legitimate second or, more usually, third job. Ah yes, of course, Leveson and press regulation. (more…)

April 6, 2014

Return to sender

Via Beau Bo d`Or

Via Beau Bo d`Or

There was no ring of the doorbell or a knock on the door but the sound of a metallic slap was definite evidence of something coming through the letterbox.

Under normal circumstances, the addition of a bundle of pizza leaflets, a bin bag attached to a card inviting me to donate unwanted clothes to the provisional IRA and the offer of a one-to-one consultation with a “world famous” clairvoyant would provoke nothing more than a passing consideration of the fullness of the recycling bin. However, on this Saturday morning I was expecting a package to be delivered and so I hot-footed it to the front door in the hope of finding the long-awaited, small and expensive spare part thingy that would make my beloved wotsit work again. (more…)

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