The Plastic Hippo

August 11, 2012

An open letter

Filed under: Birmingham,Politics,Society,Sport — theplastichippo @ 11:29 pm

One of these men was born in Somalia; the other was born in Jamaica. They are both very welcome here. Aidan Burley MP was born in New Zealand but is sadly more moron than Maori so perhaps we should be reviewing immigration policy.

After arriving in this most hospitable of nations, young Aidan Burley attended the independent King Edward`s School in the lovely borough of Edgbaston in the fair city of Birmingham. King Edward`s has produced some remarkable sportsmen particularly in rugger and our English summer game and a notable old boy was a certain Enoch Powell. It is not known if Enoch excelled with the willow and the leather or if he was any good in a scrum, but we do know that King Edward`s are rather good at educating future politicians that are capable of ruining their careers by making stupid comments based on bigotry.

With Powell, it was rivers of blood, with Burley it was “multicultural crap”. His comment on the Olympic opening ceremony might be best described if we remove the word multicultural and even if we except that he might have been drunk, his Twitter contribution is there for eternity and gives an insight into what is going on in his tiny mind. For clarification, I would remind the MP for Cannock Chase that the Olympiad is a sporting event attended by athletes from almost every culture on the planet. It would seem that the only culture, multi or otherwise, that this bone head encounters is hiring Nazi costumes for a stag party in a French ski resort. One wonders what the good people of Cannock Chase make of this embarrassing bigot and if his local party might even now be considering immediate de-selection and force a by election. We can only live in hope that the full weight of the law will be brought down on immigrants who intentionally preach hatred and intolerance but with Theresa May clinging on to dear life after the Abu Qatada fiasco, Burley will probably be promoted.

The Royal Mail has come up with a wizard wheeze of commemorating UK gold medal winners with a special postage stamp and other wags have suggested that we all buy a Mohamed Farah stamp and post a letter to the BNP central office. This is an excellent idea that should be extended. Buy lots of Mohamed Farah stamps and send lots of letters guaranteed to make tiny brains explode. But what should the letter say? How about this:

“Dear BNP/EDL/Aidan Burley/Theresa May/David Cameron (delete as necessary)

Great Britain welcomes people of all cultures and celebrates the contribution they make to our nation. You, on the other hand, have contributed almost nothing to the wellbeing and prosperity of the common wealth. Please leave at once.”

If a night out with Aidan Burley involves dressing up as a storm trooper and giving fascist salutes, forget it. Usain Bolt prepared for the 200m final by spending the evening with the Swedish women`s beach volley ball team in a nightclub. He, and his relay team, also thanked Birmingham. Mohamed should come to Cannock and stand for MP. There is only one winner.

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