Last weekend it was the EDL in Walsall, this weekend it is the Conservative Party in Birmingham. Long suffering council tax payers must be wondering what on earth the West Midlands has done to deserve this. But don`t worry, David Cameron is on Twitter.
As the coven of spivs, crooks, profiteers and liars gather for self congratulatory orgy of mutual onanism, the Conservative Party face an unusual double-header demonstration. This manifestation of angry opposition is not the inevitable four of five scruffy loonies with placards claiming to be The People`s Popular Front for Liberation or the bloke standing on his own representing The Popular Front for People`s Liberation so brilliantly lampooned in The Life of Brian. These demonstrations are being staged by the TUC representing notorious anarchists like teachers, nurses, social workers and the people who toil to keep the country moving and, until recently, healthy. When you add a demonstration by the West Midlands Police Federation, with a history of never being shy in bashing demonstrators, Cameron was actually correct when he said that we are all in this together. His “us and them” political philosophy has united the nation in complete loathing of his incompetence, mendacity and greed. But it`s okay, he`s on Twitter.
The torrent of abuse that Cameron received when he opened his Twitter account was funny, puerile, offensive and utterly futile. It is rather sweet that people swearing at him think that he, rather than some teenage intern with a rich daddy and a passing understanding of social media, will actually read the outpouring of bile and invective. Somewhere deep in the Conservative bunker, the thought police are identifying these cyber terrorists. His government have, after all, suggested that shutting down social media during periods of civil unrest is necessary. Civil unrest, in the Tory lexicon, is when people criticise a useless government that has no electoral mandate.
A quick look at the list of keynote speakers lined up to offer their wisdom to the party faithful and to give reassurances to the robber barons of banking and industry currently bleeding the nation dry, tells you all you need to know about our political masters. Grant Shapps who enjoys a double life, William Hague, Gideon Osborne, Iain Duncan Smith, Francis Maude, Justine Greening, Boris Johnson, Jeremy Hunt, Michael Gove, Maria Miller and a certain tweeting Prime Minister will, no doubt lie through their teeth. One can only hope that the elite of West Midlands Police deployed to protect these complete failures will do the decent thing and arrest the lot of them for crimes against humanity.
If such a rounding up of anti-social felons takes place, one Tory grandee will escape the attentions of the fraud squad. Chief whip Andrew Mitchell will not be peddling his bike down Broad Street and will not prove to be a distraction to the plebs in blue. His decision to stay away is tantamount to an application for voluntary redundancy. If he is an embarrassment to conference, then he is an embarrassment to government and is clearly an embarrassment to the nation. It is a hackneyed cliché, but for God`s sake go and take the rest of the vile and midnight hags with you.
In a double dip recession brought about by Osborne`s ineptitude, debt is up, deficit is up, unemployment is up and borrowing is up. 10,000 people have died since Iain Duncan Smith found them fit for work and removed their vital benefits. Jeremy Hunt lied to parliament, Leveson and the nation and was rewarded with health. The sell-off of the NHS started by the odious Andrew Lansley is a scandalous disgrace and as wards close, nurses sacked, waiting times increasing and doctors in open revolt, the best thing the stupid Hunt can offer is to offer a 12 week limit on abortion. Justine Greening and the West Coast Mail Line. Nuff said. Michael Gove.
Where, in all of this, stands the Labour Party? Hello, hello, is there anybody out there?
With Cameron now on Twitter, we may get lucky and be given an insight into the thinking of the man ruining and dividing the country. After receiving the customary stage-managed standing ovation, he might just imbibe a little too much Bollinger and give us some honest opinion. One tweet might read:
“Child starves to death due to benefit delay. LOL.”