Paying the bill

If television police dramas are to be believed, a radio call saying “officer down” results in the massed ranks of the constabulary`s finest rushing to respond to their stricken comrade. The reality, of course, is very different.

Given the substantial reduction of front-line, warranted officers and the accelerated privatisation of the police force, the rozzer in difficulties might have to wait for a bit, possibly 24 hours if we can believe anything the Home Secretary invents. If only she was called April rather than Theresa. What hope then, when the airwaves crackle with the message “member of the public down”? The answer is…very little hope at all.

Here in peaceful, crime-free Walsall, consider the fate of one local man undertaking the daily commute to and from the leafy paradise that is forever Aldridge to a distant southern suburb known as Birmingham. On his way home, he is creamed by a car and left with horrific and life-changing injuries. On a main route, at a main junction and at rush hour, West Midlands Police did not bother to attend. You can read what happened here.

Astonishingly, rather than the usual wrong place wrong time scenario to explain away incidents the police cannot be bothered to investigate, it seems that the victim was the cause of the RTA. He was at fault because he was riding a bicycle on the Queen`s Highway.

The great strength of the British police service is that men and women who serve it remain ordinary citizens subject to the same legislation and statutes that govern all of us. Without going over old ground, it is fair to say that the relationship between the police and the public in Britain is unique and really rather special. All of that, though, is obviously changing.

It is commendable that WM Police continue to engage with social media and we should remain grateful to police dogs, helicopters, Chief and Assistant Chief Constables as well as front-line bobbies on the beat who use twitter to remind us to avoid burglary by locking our doors and windows, to inhale and exhale to ward off unconsciousness and to emphasise the wonderful service they provide in fighting crime. No mention of avoiding response, ignoring potentially dangerous incidents or of the still ingrained incompetence and disturbing prejudice of a minority of active, serving officers.

It is, of course, easy to dismiss the shocking treatment of a single downed cyclists as a one off, wrong place wrong time, slipped through the safety net aberration that will never be repeated. But other evidence, all be it, apocryphal, is beginning to emerge that suggests that there are serious problems with the police service.

A couple of months ago, a neighbour came to ask for some advice. Walking home one Sunday evening, her teenage son had been approached by a middle aged man who produce a long bladed knife. There was no actual threat of violence but the older man was described as exhibiting slightly odd behaviour and was known as a local “character” who suffered from drink, drug and mental health problems. As the encounter took place next to a children`s playground, the concerned mother rang the newly introduce 101 police number for non emergency incidents.

The call was not answered and eventually cut out. She tried again and then again and after about 30 minutes managed to speak to somebody. She gave details of the incident, including the time, the exact location, a description and even a possible name and address of the man with the knife. At the end of this, the voice said: “Hang on, I`ll put you through to Walsall Police”.

After a long time on hold, she spoke to Walsall Police and told the tale again. A voice said: “Hang on, I`ll put you through to someone”. After another long time on hold, she told the tale for a third time. Another voice said: “Why have you come through to us? We are CID, we investigate scenes of crime. I`ll get someone to call you back”. The call was returned about 90 minutes later and she reported the incident again. She was disappointed with the outcome. It seemed that there were no officers available to respond but that the incident would be logged and someone would “get back to her”. They never did. It would seem that her son was in the wrong place at the wrong time and as he was a teenager, he was probably wearing a hoodie. He was actually returning from church.

More recently, nipping out to the local shop for some milk and a newspaper, an encounter with another friend and neighbour gave further cause for concern. He had obviously been in the wars and when asked about his black eye, cuts and abrasions, he merely shrugged. Outside the shop, in glorious spring morning sunshine, his story was slowly teased out.

There had been some commotion in his street during the previous night with parked cars being damaged by some bad people. Woken in the wee small hours and fearing for the safety of his car, he ventured out and, in the dark, stumbled into a uniformed police officer. The encounter led to his injuries and what a certain, senior local tweeting copper might describe as a “pavement rash”, a condition unusually common in certain types of suspect. The suggestion that he was the victim of assault was met with a resigned shrug from the respected, long standing good neighbour. “After 40 years,” he said, “you get used to it. There`s no point in fighting back and making a fuss makes it worse”. In attempting to protect his property, he was clearly in the wrong place at the wrong time. More seriously, he was in possession of the wrong ethnicity.

Before the boys in blue howl libel and defamation and demand details to launch yet another wide-ranging internal inquiry, it is worth pointing out that the people involved in these incidents do not wish to pursue complaints. One because they have no confidence that anything will change and the other because they believe that any challenge will result in unwanted and unjustified intimidation and harassment. The good work being done by the police is being undermined by an erosion of trust and no amount of cute police dogs and tweets about doughnuts is going to change that. The Met do not have a monopoly on corruption, incompetence and institutional racism.

Our stricken cyclist, as he battles through the painful journey to what we hope will be recovery, did make a fuss and got precisely nowhere. The admirable Brownhills Bob came riding tall in the saddle to give his take on this shameful episode.

When the good guys start complaining, the constabulary have more to worry about than cuts, elected commissioners and where the next chocolate bar is coming from. Evening all.

Crippled inside

We have come a long way since the aristocracy would pay a penny to be amused at the antics of lunatics held in inhumane conditions in Bedlam. But, goodness me, the powerful and wealthy of the 18th century are a tenacious bunch.

The new aristocracy and their merchant followers wasted no time in introducing the Welfare Reform Bill in February 2011. Having brought the world to the brink of ruin, the paymasters of government insisted that the poor should pay the debts run up through reckless greed and at the same time preserve the incomes of the wealthy. So, some nonsense called “Universal Credit” was concocted to turn the screw on those most in need. The most insidious aspect of this loathsome legislation is the removal of Disability Living Allowance, hardly a benefit, but more of an absolute imperative in any humane society.

DLA has two elements, care and mobility and gives our fellow human beings a small chance at independence, dignity and the right to an existence. The coalition government, who we did not vote for, want to take this away. Consider Sarah, not her real name, who lives in Birmingham. She is in her 50`s and suffers from Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, Osteoarthritis, severe Eczema and, understandably, Depression. In 2001 she was awarded the higher rate of DLA for both care and mobility. Recently, the Department of Work and Pensions decided to “reassess” her claim.

A home visit was arranged to conduct the assessment. The DWP official concluded that Sarah was not entitled to any award for DLA. The report made no mention of COPD, which renders Sarah breathless and on the verge of collapse after walking a few paces or the increasing care she needs from her family. Instead, the official offered evidence of benefit fraud by noting that the “client seemed cheerful” and after using a micrometre to measure the depth of the rubber pads at the end of the clients walking aids, concluded that the crutches had seen little use. The awkward fact that the previous walking aids had worn out and had been replaced two weeks earlier is implacably ignored.

Sarah, of course, appealed against the decision, saying that the withdrawal of support had left her with suicidal thoughts. In response, the DWP official described the possibility of suicide as “blackmail” and further proof of fraud. The official then recommended that Sarah should pay back all the benefits she has received since 2001. This is the reality of social care in Cameron’s Britain even before the wretched Welfare Reform Bill has passed into law.

The bill, of course, has its critics but not many within the Houses of Parliament. The huffing and puffing of Liberal Democrat MPs and Peers does not prevent them from supporting the government’s attack on the people it has a duty to defend. Ed Miliband and the increasingly deranged Liam Byrne whine “it’s not fair” but parrot the headlines from the right-wing press regarding “scroungers”. Liam Byrne, incidentally is the Labour shadow minister for work and pensions and MP for Birmingham Hodge Hill. He is probably unaware or has decided to ignore the torture being inflicted by the DWP on my friend Sarah, not her real name.

Disability rights groups, charities, unpaid carers and even the Archbishop of Canterbury have all said that this bill will lead to disaster. Astonishingly, it required the voice of reason that is Boris Johnson to come out and say that this pernicious and discriminatory bill would harm those that can least afford to be harmed. This could be construed as opportunism with an election on the horizon, but the study commissioned by the Mayor of London started a year ago and is based on facts and not spun statistics favoured by a vindictive government.

If the idea of Johnson talking sense for once leaves you speechless, prepare to be amazed at the stance of the Daily Mail. After years and years and years of branding people with disabilities as scroungers, Paul Dacre`s vile rag has accurately reported that DLA fraud amounts to 0.5 per cent of all claims. Up until now, the Mail’s coverage of disability issues has consisted of alleged quadriplegics playing football, so-called wheelchair users pole vaulting and mildly depressed shirkers claiming more hand-outs in a week than the Prime Minister is paid in a year. From the newspaper that claims it was solely responsible for the conviction of the sub-humans that murdered Stephen Lawrence, these are lies worthy of a cabinet minister or, indeed, his shadow.

DLA fraud certainly takes place and there are some very criminally clever people who take advantage of the system and embezzle what the do not deserve. Even if only 0.5 per cent of claims are bogus, that is a serious pile of money, £1.2billion to be precise and the DWP are right to crack down on the fraudsters. However, set against the £16billion in unclaimed benefits due to real disabled people being left in the dark over their rights, the DWP are operating with a hidden agenda. It is also worth pointing out that £70billion is owed to the exchequer in tax avoidance by the able bodied. There are some very criminally clever people who take advantage of the system and embezzle what they do not deserve. Most of them donate to the Tory party and are chums of David Cameron.

Not content with simply removing the dignity and hope of people with disabilities, the Prime Minister now mocks the afflicted. His weak attempt at humour may have been “off the cuff” and irrelevant, but it give us a glimpse at the true nature of Cameron and his millionaire chums. The sadness and grief within his own family makes his premeditated attack on the NHS and social care even more obscene.

Instead of knowing their place, suffering in silence and crawling away to die to ease the budget deficit, people with disabilities are fighting back against this malicious legislation. Led by the remarkable Sue Marsh (@suey2y on Twitter), the wonderful Kaliya Franklin (@BendyGirl) and others, the real experts on disability have produced a report that exposes the government for what it is.

Liars.

Producing the report “Responsible Reform” without funding or an army of well paid civil servants, the victims of prejudice have exposed the true nastiness of Cameron’s government. In reassessing DLA claims, this bunch of toffs think that limbs will grow back after a caring glance from Iain Duncan Smith, the lame shall walk and the blind will see again after touching the hem of Maria Miller’s expensive frock. After refusing to meet disability campaigners, Maria Miller was dubbed the Minister against the Disabled and is, basically, a liar. The good people of Wolverhampton will no doubt be ashamed of their native daughter.

The campaigners wished to deliver a copy of the report to the MPs who represent them. They were told that they would have to pay £290 for the privilege. Today in parliament, £20,000 of tax payers money was spent on food and drink for our MPs.

We have come a long way since John Lennon released the Imagine album in 1971. The BBC immediately banned the title track and for good measure banned the second track because the title contained the word “cripple”. David Cameron was five years old when Imagine was released.

Even at his most cynical, Lennon could not have imagined that his words would be so prophetic more that 40 years later.

I have in my hand a piece of paper

There are many differences that separate Neville Chamberlain from David Cameron. Neville, for example, actually worked for a living before entering parliament and Dave has never been Mayor of Birmingham or the MP for Birmingham Ladywood. Yeah, Ladywood. Not bad for a toff.

As Cameron sets off for a bout of ritual humiliation in Brussels, growling with the “bulldog spirit” demanded by his little Englander back bencher`s, his fate is as surely sealed as that of Neville who went, saw and capitulated. The difference is, despite the character assassination that followed Chamberlain’s abortive attempt at peace and a united Europe in 1938, Dave will come back without even a single sheet of Andrex to cover his dignity. Cameron is out of his shallow depth.

The idea that Britain can have any influence in Europe whilst remaining serenely aloof is a philosophy that belongs to the long gone citizens of Hartlepool who, during the Napoleonic Wars, lynched a shipwrecked monkey believing that the creature was a French spy. Conservative back bencher’s and the equally bizarre supporters of UKIP are even now conducting house to house searches for Simians and other higher primates capable of holding a pencil and marking a cross on a piece of paper.

Dave wants to preserve the rights of the City of London, the banks and stock brokers to make as much money for themselves as possible. It seems that corporate greed takes precedence over health care, education, health and safety, disability rights, the working time directive and the actual survival of our nation.

Sadly, Neville Chamberlain died a broken man in 1940. If he had lived another three years, he would have enjoyed this wonderful song by the master, Noel Coward. Perhaps Cameron is humming the tune as he is whisked away to face politicians more capable than him. Chamberlain would have made mincemeat of Merkel and Sarkozy.

This humble blog would like to offer some alternative lyrics for the dog days of 2011.

Don’t let’s be beastly to the Bankers
Now their victory is ultimately won.
Let us treat them very kindly,
As we would a valued friend.
We must not send out their tax demands,
In case it should offend.

Let’s be sweet to them
And day by day repeat to them
That compassion simply isn’t done.
Let’s sweetly sympathise again,
And help the greed to rise again,
But don’t let’s be beastly to the scum.

We must be kind
And with an open mind,
We must endeavour to find a way
To let the Bankers know
Now that the world is collapsing,
They are not the ones who have to pay.

We must be sweet
And tactful and discreet,
And now we’ve suffered defeat,
We mustn’t let
Them feel upset,
Or ever get the feeling
That we’re cross with them or hate them.
Our future policy must be to reinstate them.

Don’t let`s be beastly to the Bankers,
For they’re civilized,
When all is said and done.
Though they gave us Lehman’s and fat cats full of cream,
They also gave us poverty and Sir Philip bloody Green.

Let’s be meek and mild to them
And turn the other cheek to them,
And try to arouse their latent sense of fun.
Let’s give them full air parity,
And treat the rats with charity,
But don’t let`s be beastly to the scum.

Don’t let`s be beastly to the Bankers.
You can’t deprive a gangster of his fun.
Though they’ve been a little naughty
To the Portuguese and Greeks,
That doesn’t really matter
To these greedy, selfish creeps.

Let’s be free with them
And let the BBC speak for them.
We mustn’t prevent them basking in the sun.
Let’s soften our defeat again,
And build their bloody banks again,
And don’t let`s be beastly to the scum.

With huge apologies to the great Noel Coward.

Astonishingly, his song was banned by the BBC in 1943 for being pro-German. It would seem that not very much has changed and Cameron will return with a piece of paper that will be reported as a triumph. With an oaf like this in charge and a Chancellor that needs to take his socks off to count above eleven, it is probably wise to take the next flight to Munich if one wishes to survive the winter.

Peace in our time? What a great idea.

Armageddon

For the last day of November, Wednesday was unusually mild and covered with blue skies and sunshine. With both boys off school due to the “irresponsible” strike action by “militant” teachers, what better way to enjoy such a beautiful day than a post-breakfast walk around Walsall Arboretum.

As we walked across what was once the only municipal golf course in Walsall, we discussed the reasons behind this most welcomed day off. After a brief explanation, the older boy observed that making public servants pay more, work longer and receive less upon retiring was “a bit unfair”. His younger brother gave this most erudite contribution: “The government is just stupid and greedy.” Some fatherly advice did nothing to assuage his desire to punch the Prime Minister on the nose. From the mouths of babes and sucklings, Mr Cameron.

We knew it was never going to end well. Back on that bright May morning in 2010 when two public schoolboys held hands for the cameras in the Downing Street garden, it became obvious that only a privileged few would escape the carnage.

Now, after 18 months of woeful mismanagement of the economy, Chancellor Gideon offered his Autumn statement. The thrust of his argument is to blame his predecessors, snow, foreigners, “militants”, the OECD and even the coalition created Office for Budget Responsibility. Old Uncle Tom Cobley was strangely missing from the list of excuses offered by this clown masquerading as a serious statesman. The obscenely rich, it seems, will be protected by squeezing the last drop out of the poor, the not so poor, the disadvantaged and people with disabilities. Would you buy a used car from someone called George Osborne?

With zero growth and government borrowing going through the roof (£111billion over the next five years), the braying of Osborne, Cameron, Clegg, Cable and the preposterous Danny Alexander over the inherited deficit has become farcical. It seems that a day of industrial action is way more costly than a royal wedding. These sphincters are borrowing more than Brown and Darling ever thought they could get away with. Add to this the knee-jerk reaction to whatever upsets the already discredited right wing press, and we have a recipe of ruin.

Throughout last week, listening to the sorry excuses of cabinet ministers dragging their sorry derrières around news studios and press briefings, one might come to the conclusion that the end of the world was at hand brought about by public sector workers protesting that their contracts of employment had been torn up. The announcement of entering into the crazy scheme of offering sub-prime mortgages resulted in share prices of building firms going up. Only building firm shareholders will benefit and the homeless will remain homeless. Idiot Clegg announced a billion to force NEETS into unpaid, temporary work. EMA, cut to save the heating bills of bankers swimming pools, cost the exchequer half that amount. Credit easing to small companies only applies to a business with a turn-over greater than £50million and the idea that building roads as a way of improving “infrastructure” will promote the life chances of an impoverished child is laughable.

Interestingly, the Liberal Democrats are supporting this madness. It is sad to see a political party go from blushing virgin to crack whore in such a short period of time. Liberal Democrats, implicit in this ideological destruction of a nation, have had to stare at a lot of ceilings and bite a lot of pillows over the last 18 months. But, I guess that is the price you have to pay for your 15 minutes of fame and power.

Faced with biggest show of strength from an ignored electorate since 1926, this bastard coalition went on the offensive. Ministers spoke of the cancellation of hospital appointments, closed schools and queues at immigration desks at airports. They also stated that only 25 per cent of union members voted for industrial action.

In the name of accuracy, the NHS has proved to be remarkably successful at preserving human life and so is responsible for people living longer and so, therefore, needs to be destroyed.

Schools, in spite of chronic underfunding, still keep producing pupils with the aspiration to find a job. The coalition regards these schools as “failing”.

Airports remained open and the claim that delays at passport control would make Britain unattractive to “business people and investors” and would make the nation a “laughing stock” to the very folk who caused the misery in the first place are as hollow as the hollow men and women in the coalition. With border controls so lax, the passage through immigration has been made easier for both terrorists and adventure capitalists.

Please do not run an internet search for Theresa May, there is a website hosted by a lady with a similar name. It seems that, unlike the Home Secretary, this lady is so poor that she cannot afford any clothing.

As for the 25 per cent of public sector workers that voted to strike, well done. David Cameron occupies 10 Downing Street with 23 per cent of the potential vote. I guess this is called democracy or, as Chomsky says, manufactured compliance. There are those in the private sector who complain about “gold plated” public pensions and some who seem to think that their tax contributions are being spent on subsidising the chilled Chardonnay of “militants”. Perhaps these indignant private sector workers should join a union to improve their lot, stop regarding schools as a babysitting service and spend some quality time with their children.

After the walk in the park, the boys expressed an interest in seeing a picket line. Sadly, the Walsall Civic Centre, the Council House, the Town Hall and even the Walsall Library had been abandoned by the “militants” intent on destroying society. We were told that these anarchists had taken buses to Birmingham for a march and meeting at the NIA.

I gave my middle class kids a choice. McDonald’s or New Street. We were on the train to Birmingham within half an hour.

As they grow and mature, these boys will remember this day and I hope they will proudly say “I was there”. Mr Cameron, you have two new enemies.

Rovers Return

Five months is a long time in politics, broadcasting and even football. Back in May, Aston Villa missed out on Europe, West Bromwich Albion languished in mid-table obscurity, Wolverhampton Wanderers only just survived and Walsall just about avoided relegation, unlike the unfortunate Birmingham City. It’s not such a funny old game.

As the last football season lurched to its disappointing end, this humble blog attempted to draw attention to one woman’s battle against the might of the Murdoch empire. Pub landlady of the Red, White and Blue in Southsea, Karen Murphy decided that she was not going to be pushed around by BSkyB and the Football League. Having been sued for breach of copyright for daring to screen a football match in her pub, she took her case to the European Court of Justice and today has seen justice prevail. It would seem that media tycoons and dodgy football moguls do not own the intellectual copyright of 22 men kicking a pig’s bladder about.

Back in May, who would have ever thought that by July, Andy Coulson, Neil Wallis and Rebekah Brooks would be under arrest and Murdoch’s flagship, the News of the World, would be scuppered and left as a wreck at the bottom of Portsmouth harbour. Rupert and the boy James still face some awkward questions regarding their probity and their understanding of what telling the truth means and it now seems that anything they touch is tarnished. Court rulings, however, mean nothing to a family that buys and sells governments and they will be back to give Mrs Murphy a good kicking.

This whole affair is riddled with delicious irony. Oily Cameron and the half-wit Osborne have, this week, appointed themselves champions of small businesses and wish to forget the taking of the Murdoch shilling. One doubts that they will be nipping in to Karen`s pub for a swift half and a bit of congratulation. Euro-sceptics from both the right and left, after years of barking at the moon in outrage at EU law, are now strangely but mercifully silent given that Europe has defended the underdog. The men that run football, happy to appoint an England manager with a basic grasp of English that is more impressive than his tactical ability, will be furious that premiership games played and managed by men with names like Carlos, Arsene, Roberto and Didier will be watched throughout Europe. Club owners like the Glazers, Abramovich and Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan will curse EU legislation as they see all that lovely BSkyB money disappearing down the necks of drinkers in the Red, White and Blue.

The sweetest irony is, however, the fact that Mrs Murphy bought her de-coder from Greece. With most of northern Europe excreting breeze blocks over the Hellenic economy and the banks that caused the trouble in the first place about to close down an entire nation state, it only seems fair that Panathinaikos should be awarded an automatic place in the Champions League final. Most of their players are actually Greek, but the coaching staff is Portuguese.

Ah yes, it might be best not to mention Portugal, or Spain, or Italy, or Ireland or, the way things are going, the United Kingdom. If the finance ministers of bailed out countries need any advice on economic strategy, procurement, fairness and value for money, they could start by asking a pub landlady from Portsmouth. Perhaps Osborne should nip in for a swift half after all.