Image via News of the World (So sue me)
When rummaging in the dustbins of hypocrisy, it is always worth remembering that there is a sliding scale of double-standards, double-talk, double-crossing, double-speak and double-trouble.
We should first discard criminal hypocrisy as that is a matter for the justice system and Her Majesties Prison Service. As every responsible blogger knows, any comment regarding current legal proceedings that could be prejudicial to a safe conviction or acquittal can attract a charge of contempt of court and is best left well alone. Easier pickings can be had by ridiculing ignorant hypocrisy; undoubtedly brought about by selective memory loss, an astonishing lack of self-awareness or, more usually, crass stupidity. There is no finer example of an abject lack of irony than (more…)
They came for the foxes and I did nothing
At the end of a bad day of bad news and consequent bad press it is always best to put on a brave face and offer the world a smile and a joke; unless, of course, you happen to be Secretary of State for the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs, Owen Paterson.
As a self-confessed climate change sceptic and advocate of fox hunting, Shropshire`s finest had to admit that he had been out-foxed by badgers. Having to announce what amounts to a failure in killing sufficient brocks and the necessity to extend the killing fields and the killing time must have been difficult in a week when it was confirmed that global warming is caused by humans and not flatulent cattle infected with Bovine TB. With evidence emerging of blood lust yokels exterminating wildlife beyond the pilot cull areas and dead and dying carcasses strewn across the fields of rural England, thank goodness Paterson is not easily taken in by actual scientific research. Turning a blind eye to some of his more thuggish chums in the farming industry who are gassing the sneaky blighters wherever they are found, the Syrian government might be asking Nobel laureate UN chemical weapons investigators to have a quiet word with Owen the Cull. Badgered by an unfriendly press, he informed the nation that the badgers had moved the goalposts.
It is difficult to know where to start with Paterson so I won`t even bother. His disconnection with reality and toe-curling attempts at humour speak for themselves. Instead, it might be more productive to focus on the forgotten victims of this complete shambles; the goalposts and on better comedians that Paterson the Badger Slayer. (more…)
Not going south of the river
Rather than order a taxi for Mr Duncan Smith and order another taxi for Mr Grayling, that nice Mr Cameron could ask the two gentlemen to share a cab in order for the government to save money and so further reduce the dreadful deficit. However, the days of cabinet ministers resigning or being sacked for being inept, stupid, corrupt or all three are in the filing cabinet drawer marked nostalgia, responsibility and honour.
As a Justice Secretary without any legal qualification, Chris Grayling decided that legal aid for poor people was a luxury that the nation could not afford. Judges told him he was wrong, QC`s told him he was wrong, Barristers told him he was wrong and a London taxi driver who once had that Clive Anderson in the back of the cab told him he was wrong. Assuming that poor people are obviously guilty, Chris pressed on regardless. Now a laughing stock within the justice system, he has been forced into a humiliating climb down. Taxi for Mr Grayling? No, he is still allowed to be inept. (more…)
Credit where credit is due: David Cameron is correct to advise parents to boycott vile organisations who refuse to step up to the plate and take responsibility for bullying. We can start by boycotting the Department for Education.
Cameron`s flawed logic and indignant “something must be done” outrage once again proves that either he and the people that advise him have no idea how the internet works or, more cynically, descend like vultures on yet another truly horrific tragedy to demand that social media must be “controlled”. Cameron said: “If you incite someone to do harm, if you incite violence; that is breaking the law, whether that is online or offline”. So, we can assume that Michael Gove`s Ofsted storm troopers will stop bullying Teachers and Governing Bodies and concentrate on arresting the kids in the playground that are hurting other children. If internet providers are responsible for online bullying, then Teachers and ultimately Michael Gove are responsible for offline bullying. Therefore, according to Cameron, all schools should be closed. (more…)
E L Wisty
The late, great and sadly missed Peter Cook when being stalked by none other than the Princess Margaret responded to yet another invitation to dinner by sending a note that said: “Ordinarily I would love to come and amuse you and your friends but on that particular evening I intent to watch television.”
As an excuse for not turning up, this is far more elegant than the usual “he/she has a meeting” or “there was no phone signal” or “he/she is unwell/on leave/no longer working for this department/has been abducted by aliens/is dead.” It will be interesting to see what excuses the hard working and dedicated councillors representing the fair wards of Aldridge Central and South, Aldridge North and Walsall Wood and other surrounding picturesque villages employ when taking the discretionary decision not to turn up at tonight`s meeting to seal the coffin lid on Aldridge Manor Youth Centre. (more…)