The Plastic Hippo

November 11, 2014

I promise to pay the bearer

Money

Like hearts, dreams, ambitions, mobile phones and the best wine glasses kept at the back of the cupboard for special occasions, promises are easily broken. There is a long and contemptuous tradition of politicians promising all manner of goodies to a gullible electorate without ever having any intention of coming up with the goods. When challenged to explain the failure to deliver pie-in-the-sky promises, the rulers with more ambition than heart usually ignore the awkward questions or sometimes talk of a change in circumstances or trot out the tired excuse that the promise was misunderstood by stupid voters.

The hilarious shambles in the House of Commons over the vote to have a vote on not having a vote to vote to enact a bill to re-adopt the European Arrest Warrant is just the latest farce in a long line of duplicitous wriggling that stretches back to the Stone Age. This particular pantomime, however, is different in that apart from being the funniest, it is likely to be something of a watershed moment for this awful coalition government. (more…)

October 23, 2014

In sickness and in health

Filed under: Health,Media,Politics,Rights,Society — theplastichippo @ 2:00 am
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Via bbc.co.uk

Via bbc.co.uk

After a period of quiet introspection, I have come to the conclusion that I have been completely wrong in suggesting that Tory ideology is destroying the very fabric of society. The very fabric of society is not being destroyed. Instead, it is being systematically measured out, marked with chalk and then cut up into profitable bolts to be sold off to any passing sharks looking to make a fast buck from basic human necessity. I was also wrong about Tory ideology. The gangsters doing the selling off are not even Tories.

Ever since the English Civil War and the subsequent Age of Enlightenment, Tory ideology has been based on “God, King and Country” along with a dollop of High Church Anglicanism mixed with a little avuncular oppression. (more…)

October 9, 2014

Zombie invasion

Filed under: Education,Health,Rights,Society,World — theplastichippo @ 3:00 am
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Via Anchorbat

Via Anchorbay

There is nothing even remotely funny about contagious diseases and Ebola in West Africa is just about as serious as things can get. It is so serious that western governments are now urgently deploying military personnel to fight the deadly virus. Cuba, it seems, are sending doctors.

Ebola is not funny; it was not funny last week or last month or back in December or even further back in 1976 when the virus began spreading in Sudan and Zaire. Similarly, it did not raise many laughs in 2007 when it killed more than 400 in Uganda and the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Only medical statisticians can tell us when an outbreak becomes an epidemic and when an epidemic becomes a pandemic but, according to some western governments and the feral media that supports them, we are now facing the end of the world. (more…)

July 8, 2014

In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida

Filed under: Health,Media,Music,Society — theplastichippo @ 1:00 am
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Hello? What? Yes I`ve tried that.

Hello? What? Yes I`ve tried that.

As a family, we are experts at dealing with unexpected calamity and the occasional crisis but Sunday proved to be cataclysmic as the full horror of the collapse of internet network connection visited our humble home.

The first horseman of the apocalypse crashed through the roof when an anguished scream was heard coming from an upper storey of the east wing of our small to medium mansion at about lunchtime. Engaged in “blowing away” cyborgs to reach the next level of some surrogate game designed to replace a more sensible passage to manhood, the son and heir issued a loud frustrated expletive when the internet crashed just before he had achieved enough kills to entitle him to deploy cluster bombs. On a previous occasion when male bonding was deemed necessary, I ventured the proposition that if it were a cyborg, then the screen should not be covered with just blood, brains and gore, but that the gloop should also contain the occasional microchip, PCB and possibly a resistor or two. He shrugged, saying that “it`s not real” and then quoted Asimov, Arthur C Clarke and even Descartes. I managed to resist the temptation to slap him round the back of the head. (more…)

March 30, 2014

Until the juices run clear

Filed under: Health,Politics — theplastichippo @ 10:08 pm
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Via mydaily.co.uk

Via mydaily.co.uk

This morning, in welcome sunshine, the sound of six month old burger fat being scraped from rusty barbeque grills in neighbouring gardens heralded the beginning of the E-coli season. The gentle hiss of flammable liquid on charcoal still damp from winter complimented the coughing of poorly maintained lawn mowers being persuaded into life. The spring aroma of burning meat was infused with the subtle fragrance of desperation, fear, panic and the unmistakable stench of electioneering. (more…)

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