The Plastic Hippo

November 23, 2014

See Emily Play

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If the excitable and somewhat tarnished British media is to be believed, Emily Thornberry has posted the most disgusting, offensive, vile, inhumane and satanic tweet in the short but colourful history of social media. Publishing an image of a house festooned with no less than three, yes three, flags of St George and with a white van parked outside and with the evil, provocative and seditious caption “Rochester”, this Thornberry woman has dragged politics into the gutter by displaying contempt and derision targeted at hard-working, overweight used car dealers.

It is entirely appropriate that she has resigned as a shadow cabinet minister and should be paraded through the streets of Strood with only tar and feathers to cover her indecency and abject shame. Hanging is too good for her. Err…hang on.

We need to ask why this is a story. It could be that the excitable and tarnished British media feel disappointed that the Tory candidate in the Rochester and Strood by election lost to a Tory defector who can only reveal the true nature of his bigotry when tiredness overtakes him. It might also be the case that a 10,000 majority reduced to 3,000 for the same bloke in the same seat represents an anomaly in the media agenda and needs some “clarification”. As for the Liberal Democrats, history will judge their reputation as whores when future generations view their dusty remains in a museum of lost deposits and shameless complicity.

Clearly, a distraction is required and what better distraction than a photograph of a house. Social media has yet to define an obvious boundary between bullying and banter and, indeed, threatening behaviour. When a critic is automatically dubbed a troll and a troll is automatically a champion of free speech, the internet ether is no place for the faint-hearted and Thornberry is bang to rights guilty of being ironic. Miliband`s faux anger at her offensive, out of touch “sneering” at the working class is merely spin and is more of a bullet to the foot than tweeting a photo of a house. Having defamed his father, publishing images of bacon butties and inventing a leadership crisis, it is clear that the excitable and tarnished British media are not going to give up the assault. In absolute desperation, hacks have summoned up the formidable powers of no less than Myleene Klass and Dan from Rochester.

For those that are living dormant on the surface of a distant comet, Myleene Klass is a former member of a manufactured pop act and Dan from Rochester is a former cage fighter. Ms Klass doesn`t like the idea of a mansion tax because she lives in a mansion but Dan does like English flags on his house because he put them up for the World Cup and cannot be bothered to take them down. Murdoch`s Sun loves these two characters. Myleene looks rather fetching in lingerie and Dan is a fat skin-head with tattoos who says he can`t ever remember casting a vote.

Within 24 hours of Thornberry`s disgusting tweet, Dan was signed up by Murdoch`s Sun and his white van, festooned with Sun merchandising, was driven to London to plant the cross of St George on Emily Thornberry`s railings. It is hypocrisy of the highest order to judge a person based on their appearance but it will be interesting to witness how the Murdoch press and the Daily Fail and the BBC report Dan`s inevitable fall from grace especially as this week`s working class hero might just be next week`s scrounging, feral underclass.

In sacking Emily Thornberry, Miliband has dropped more gonads than a castrating vet at a pig farm and attempting to woo the core working class vote by talking tough on immigration plays straight into the sinister hands of the Farage creature. If Labour are the only hope of getting rid of this dreadful government, Miliband must continue to ignore the outrageous attacks on his character and even his appearance and focus on building a more equal society. Sacking someone for posting an image of a house because it offended Murdoch and the odious Dacre is not the necessarily the way to attract support from people who usually don`t bother to vote. Joining in with racist rhetoric regarding immigration is an abandonment of basic humanity and history informs us of where that can lead.

Some very clever commentators have suggested the “the working class” no longer exists as the middle and upper classes work and should, therefore, be considered as working class. The lower orders, thanks to Mrs Thatcher, now consider themselves as middle class because they own their council house, have a car, take a holiday in Benidorm and are suspicious of the work ethic of the bloke in the corner shop who opens at seven in the morning and closes at ten at night.

Margaret Thatcher, unlike David Cameron, was elected with a majority and a clear mandate in 1979 and her legacy is now bearing fruit with the rise of the Kippers. Young Nigel must be happy in his world. Here is a disturbingly prescient pop tune by XTC from 1979:

November 20, 2014

Cooking the books



With the polls about to open for the Rochester and Strood parliamentary by election and the three or four migrant Poles actually living in Rochester being rounded up by the media for their thoughts on transitional deportation, now is good time to categorically state that David Cameron is definitely not the most incompetent Prime Minister in living memory.

Facing electoral defeat in a safe Tory seat by a strange bloke who was recently a Tory but now asks the Kent electorate to vote for change by voting for him as the sitting MP, Cameron said he would throw the kitchen sink at Rochester. Opinion polls, which always must be taken with a pinch of salt, suggest that that the sink missed and Cameron avoided a nasty foot injury by ensuring that both his feet were planted firmly in his mouth as he dropped the Armitage Shanks. The strange Kipper bloke who was recently a Tory and is demanding change really dropped his phone into the urinal by suggesting that even perfectly legal migrants should face deportation. It is an indication of the toxicity of the hate mongering and scare stories spread by the Kippers and others that this outrageous statement will probably increase the strange bloke`s vote. (more…)

November 8, 2014

Iron Chancellor



History might remember Otto von Bismarck as an aggressive, bullying stereotype in a silly pointy hat but, apart from the unpleasantness with Denmark, Austria and France, the Iron Chancellor managed to create a unified Germany and manufactured a relatively peaceful Western Europe until the turn of the 19th century. He also had a way with pithy one-liners some of which, even by today`s standards, are really rather funny. Proving forever that it is incorrect to suggest that Prussians lack a sense of humour, Otto once said:
“If you like laws and sausages, you should never watch either one being made.”

George Osborne might be remembered as a half-witted, inbred stereotype in what looks suspiciously like a silly syrup, but he has managed to create a disunited kingdom and an absolutely massive growth in manufacturing. Sadly, the only things being manufactured are distrust, division, distraction, despair and downright lies. If you like an equitable EU budget contribution adjustment and pork pies, look away now; preferably at that odd looking bloke over there eating a bacon butty. (more…)

September 1, 2014

Grandma`s footsteps

Filed under: History,Media,Politics,Rights,Society — theplastichippo @ 12:59 am
Tags: , , , , , , ,
Napolean Crossing the Alps by Jacques-Louis David

Napolean Crossing the Alps by Jacques-Louis David

What`s the time Mr Wolf?

Suffused with a comforting aroma of lavender and loose leaf tea, my dear old and now long gone Grandma was as kind and loving and gentle and as reassuring as only Grandmas can be. She could also, when necessary, become absolutely bloody terrifying.

Like many women of her generation, having lost brothers in the First World War and watched sons march off to the Second World War, she was never likely to tolerate the random slapstick buffoonery of little five-year-old me. A genius at contradiction, her word was unbreakable law and she would defend her “own” against any threat real or imagined. It seems that of her many grandchildren, I was something of a favourite. I have no idea why I should be so blessed but it was always a treat to stay with Grandma as she made the best bread and butter pudding in the world and had a piano in the parlour. For years, I thought the phrase “you little buggeroo” was a term of affection that only applied to me and when Grandma said it was bedtime it was definitely bedtime. (more…)

August 6, 2014

Over-promoted, incapable, incompetent

Enjoying yet another holiday in Portugal pointing at fish, David Cameron will be delighted that Baroness Sayeeda Warsi has picked her moment to jump overboard just as the nets of moral outrage snag the truly awful coalition government. In the strange world inhabited by Cameron, every silver lining frames a huge, black cloud and Warsi`s resignation might give him short-term relief but the storm is about to break.

In 2007, Cameron appointed an unelected, failed parliamentary candidate hastily elevated to the House of Lords to his shadow cabinet. Promoted not due to any actual ability but because she ticked various electoral boxes, Baroness Warsi became a rare thing in British politics and something of a paradox worthy of Nietzsche. In short, she quickly became unsackable. As a token woman suitably northern and, more importantly, as a token Muslim, her seat at the cabinet table was assured as long as her electoral value remained viable. (more…)

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