The Plastic Hippo

November 23, 2014

See Emily Play

Image via channel4.com

If the excitable and somewhat tarnished British media is to be believed, Emily Thornberry has posted the most disgusting, offensive, vile, inhumane and satanic tweet in the short but colourful history of social media. Publishing an image of a house festooned with no less than three, yes three, flags of St George and with a white van parked outside and with the evil, provocative and seditious caption “Rochester”, this Thornberry woman has dragged politics into the gutter by displaying contempt and derision targeted at hard-working, overweight used car dealers. (more…)

November 20, 2014

Cooking the books

Via cam.ac.uk

Via cam.ac.uk

With the polls about to open for the Rochester and Strood parliamentary by election and the three or four migrant Poles actually living in Rochester being rounded up by the media for their thoughts on transitional deportation, now is good time to categorically state that David Cameron is definitely not the most incompetent Prime Minister in living memory.

Facing electoral defeat in a safe Tory seat by a strange bloke who was recently a Tory but now asks the Kent electorate to vote for change by voting for him as the sitting MP, Cameron said he would throw the kitchen sink at Rochester. Opinion polls, which always must be taken with a pinch of salt, suggest that that the sink missed and Cameron avoided a nasty foot injury by ensuring that both his feet were planted firmly in his mouth as he dropped the Armitage Shanks. The strange Kipper bloke who was recently a Tory and is demanding change really dropped his phone into the urinal by suggesting that even perfectly legal migrants should face deportation. It is an indication of the toxicity of the hate mongering and scare stories spread by the Kippers and others that this outrageous statement will probably increase the strange bloke`s vote. (more…)

November 8, 2014

Iron Chancellor

Via norton.com

Via norton.com

History might remember Otto von Bismarck as an aggressive, bullying stereotype in a silly pointy hat but, apart from the unpleasantness with Denmark, Austria and France, the Iron Chancellor managed to create a unified Germany and manufactured a relatively peaceful Western Europe until the turn of the 19th century. He also had a way with pithy one-liners some of which, even by today`s standards, are really rather funny. Proving forever that it is incorrect to suggest that Prussians lack a sense of humour, Otto once said:
“If you like laws and sausages, you should never watch either one being made.”

George Osborne might be remembered as a half-witted, inbred stereotype in what looks suspiciously like a silly syrup, but he has managed to create a disunited kingdom and an absolutely massive growth in manufacturing. Sadly, the only things being manufactured are distrust, division, distraction, despair and downright lies. If you like an equitable EU budget contribution adjustment and pork pies, look away now; preferably at that odd looking bloke over there eating a bacon butty. (more…)

September 1, 2014

Grandma`s footsteps

Filed under: History,Media,Politics,Rights,Society — theplastichippo @ 12:59 am
Tags: , , , , , , ,
Napolean Crossing the Alps by Jacques-Louis David

Napolean Crossing the Alps by Jacques-Louis David

What`s the time Mr Wolf?

Suffused with a comforting aroma of lavender and loose leaf tea, my dear old and now long gone Grandma was as kind and loving and gentle and as reassuring as only Grandmas can be. She could also, when necessary, become absolutely bloody terrifying.

Like many women of her generation, having lost brothers in the First World War and watched sons march off to the Second World War, she was never likely to tolerate the random slapstick buffoonery of little five-year-old me. A genius at contradiction, her word was unbreakable law and she would defend her “own” against any threat real or imagined. It seems that of her many grandchildren, I was something of a favourite. I have no idea why I should be so blessed but it was always a treat to stay with Grandma as she made the best bread and butter pudding in the world and had a piano in the parlour. For years, I thought the phrase “you little buggeroo” was a term of affection that only applied to me and when Grandma said it was bedtime it was definitely bedtime. (more…)

August 6, 2014

Over-promoted, incapable, incompetent

dialymirror.co.uk

dialymirror.co.uk

Enjoying yet another holiday in Portugal pointing at fish, David Cameron will be delighted that Baroness Sayeeda Warsi has picked her moment to jump overboard just as the nets of moral outrage snag the truly awful coalition government. In the strange world inhabited by Cameron, every silver lining frames a huge, black cloud and Warsi`s resignation might give him short-term relief but the storm is about to break.

In 2007, Cameron appointed an unelected, failed parliamentary candidate hastily elevated to the House of Lords to his shadow cabinet. Promoted not due to any actual ability but because she ticked various electoral boxes, Baroness Warsi became a rare thing in British politics and something of a paradox worthy of Nietzsche. In short, she quickly became unsackable. As a token woman suitably northern and, more importantly, as a token Muslim, her seat at the cabinet table was assured as long as her electoral value remained viable. (more…)

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