The Plastic Hippo

April 6, 2014

Return to sender

Via Beau Bo d`Or

Via Beau Bo d`Or

There was no ring of the doorbell or a knock on the door but the sound of a metallic slap was definite evidence of something coming through the letterbox.

Under normal circumstances, the addition of a bundle of pizza leaflets, a bin bag attached to a card inviting me to donate unwanted clothes to the provisional IRA and the offer of a one-to-one consultation with a “world famous” clairvoyant would provoke nothing more than a passing consideration of the fullness of the recycling bin. However, on this Saturday morning I was expecting a package to be delivered and so I hot-footed it to the front door in the hope of finding the long-awaited, small and expensive spare part thingy that would make my beloved wotsit work again. (more…)

December 24, 2013

Ring out, wild bells

Filed under: History,Literature,Music,Society — theplastichippo @ 10:10 pm
Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Alfred, Lord Tennyson

The larder is bulging with buy one get one free boxes of minced pies and the fridge is packed with poultry and trimmings; the last thing we need is some Middle Eastern, homeless refugee giving birth to yet another scrounging baby.

One day this child might grow up to become some ranting lunatic demanding equality, an end to war, freedom for all and might even suggest that the greed of individuals is less important than the benefit of the many. God forbid that this should come to pass and even more horrific is the thought that this anarchist should reside in Hackney, or Handsworth, or Govan, or Byker, or Moss Side, or Walsall or Westminster. A revolutionary daring to question the rich being rich and the poor being poor should not be something to spoil the adoration of our Christian decency when pushing each other out the way to get to the discounted brandy butter. (more…)

November 20, 2013

Feel the Noize

Filed under: Health,Music,Politics,Walsall — theplastichippo @ 1:00 pm
Tags: , , ,
Screen grab via YouTube

Screen grab via YouTube

Parody can all too often be a blunt instrument when attempting to employ what passes for a sense of humour in a world ruled by an elite required to undergo a sense of humour by-pass.

The original premise of the Downfall Parody clips posted to YouTube was very clever, nicely crafted and rather funny. However, the endless repetition of the same joke adapted for football clubs, pop songs and the internet itself resulted in the genre eating itself with a Downfall Parody rant ranting about Downfall Parody rants. It stopped being funny but still has some millage. The actor selected to portray Joseph Goebbels, who stands in sinister silence behind Hitler, bears a striking resemblance to the Heath Secretary, a certain Jeremy Hunt.

There is not enough parody left in the world to direct at Jeremy Hunt. Hyperbole, sarcasm, analogy, ironic juxtaposition, metaphor, derision and cynical mockery will fly way above the head of this freeloading shyster. (more…)

October 18, 2013

The piano has been drinking

Filed under: Music,Politics,Society — theplastichippo @ 12:12 am
Tom Waits

Tom Waits

Tonight, I taught my son how to play Imagine on the piano; I also taught him this… (more…)

May 27, 2013

Kill the wabbit

Filed under: Media,Music,Society — theplastichippo @ 12:15 am
Image via Warner Brothers

Image via Warner Brothers

Regular readers of this influential, widely-read and award winning blog will no doubt remember the arrival of a rabbit into the domestic bliss of family life.

I must make clear that the rabbit entered our lives without any consultation or any agreement from me. For further clarification, this blog can be defined as widely read because at least one person in Romania and possibly three people in Bulgaria clicked on a recent opinion regarding the moral bankruptcy of UKIP. The award is based on a survey of about a dozen 14-year-olds undertaken by UKTV Gold who were asked the following question:
“Which anonymous blog written by someone pretending to be a polypropylene river horse from Botswana is least likely to have any influence on Michael Gove`s vision for a return to medieval education?” I would like to thank all the little people and, above all, God for this marvellous honour.

The rabbit, after about three days of looking cute, went through a rampant and deranged adolescence and emerged from the cocoon of fluffy bunnydom as a violent sexual predator. (more…)

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