The Plastic Hippo

July 25, 2014

The people have spoken

Unlikely Strange Kippers via ukipwalsall.org

Unlikely Strange Kippers via ukipwalsall.org

Well, to be precise, 2250 people have spoken which is about 22 per cent of those eligible to vote in the Walsall Birchills-Leamore by election.

As political earthquakes go, the Labour victory is right up there along with Westminster MPs voting for their own pay rise, Ian Shires spouting nonsense and Mike Bird being an embarrassment to the borough every time he opens his mouth to the media. The turnout and the Labour majority of 365 might be down but the new councillor had a tough act to follow and the circumstances that necessitated the by election could not be sadder. Tim Oliver worked tirelessly for this moment and the poignancy of him not being alive to enjoy it is a tragedy. But congratulations to Chris Jones on becoming Labour`s 30th elected member on the current council.

The unverified result is:
Labour 1075
Tory 710
Unlikely Strange Kipper 445
English Deluded 20

By bringing the full force of his charm, charisma and intelligence to bear, the Unlikely Strange Kipper managed to significantly reduce the Farage vote and converted a self-proclaimed political earthquake to the silent flatulence of stinking, wet bigotry. Our sympathies must go to the English Deluded for having such a small circle of family and friends. (more…)

July 18, 2014

Rump Parliament

Via independent.co.uk

Via independent.co.uk

Given the long history of British democracy, it is almost reassuring to know that politics in 1648 was just as sordid as politics in 2014.

At the end of the Second English Civil War, elements of the Long Parliament attempted to rehabilitate Charles I with the Treaty of Newport. The defeated and deposed king was at that point happy to sign anything that would save his skin. Oliver Cromwell and the New Model Army had other ideas and Thomas Fairfax organised a military coup with the intention of dissolving parliament and banging up the king on charges of high treason. Realising that this was a bit over the top even for 1648, Fairfax decided instead to purge parliament of any dissenters leaving only a bunch of yes men. Colonel Thomas Pride was tasked with rounding up the trouble makers and, as a result, gave history “Pride`s Purge” and the first Rump Parliament. To this day, a rump parliament is defined as a bunch of shysters left over after an actual parliament has lost any legitimacy. Welcome to 1648. (more…)

July 16, 2014

Ozymandias

Filed under: Education,History,Literature,Politics — theplastichippo @ 2:07 am
Tags: , , , , ,
Ramesses II

Ramesses II

It wasn`t exactly a JFK moment or an Elvis moment or even a John Lennon moment but the day after Bastille Day 2014 is now carved into memory.

Tuesday morning was always going to be “challenging” as a long scheduled three hour meeting starting at nine would require concentration and the certain need for some agile thinking if I had any hope of a successful outcome. It was the sort of meeting that requires you to switch off your phone. Emerging into the sunshine feeling quietly confident and more that a little smug, I resorted to a nearby hostelry to collect my thoughts over a pint of fine English ale. Finding a seat outside and sparking up a gasper, I switched the phone back on.

A stream of about a dozen text messages broke the peace and quiet of the beer garden. This was most unusual as text messages are rare and are normally confined to simple pleas from the homestead to “buy cat food” or an attempt at further extortion from the tax dodging bandits calling themselves my network provider. (more…)

July 11, 2014

Sleep well

Banksy via streetartutopia.com

Banksy via streetartutopia.com

In these dark and perilous hours, my thoughts and prayers are with my fellow British citizens as we face the most grievous emergency to ever threaten the very existence of our proud and free nation.

Hoards of organised criminals, terrorists, perverts and Trade Unionists are openly conspiring to send each other pictures of sodding cats and are communicating via comments about TV programmes that nobody else is watching. It is vital that we remain vigilant against this unspeakable plot and happily wave goodbye to civil liberties justifiably sacrificed on the sacred alter of national security. In David Cameron we have a leader who is at last courageous enough steam roller emergency legislation to allow government free access to every snippet of electronic communication without the unnecessary delay of allowing elected MPs to actually debate or even read the DRIP bill. (more…)

July 5, 2014

Ready to Rumble

Via bbc.co.uk

Via bbc.co.uk

Just when you start to think that politics could not descend any further into the cesspit of disgraceful opportunism, along comes another piece of low life ready to plumb new depths of disrespect.

Wolverhampton councillor Bob Jones was elected as the first Police and Crime Commissioner for the West Midlands on November 15th 2012. He died suddenly on Tuesday 1st July 2014 aged 59. By all accounts and judging from the many tributes paid to him from across the political spectrum, he was very good at his job even though he stated that Police and Crime Commissioners were not a terribly good idea in a mature and open democracy. Those that knew him and even those that politically opposed him are unanimous in their admiration for this good and honest man. (more…)

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