The Plastic Hippo

November 26, 2014

Dancing Queen of the Night

Via BBC Radio 4

If the old adage that any publicity is good publicity is true; then that there Home Secretary is putting herself about a bit. Even the BBC has temporarily scaled back its Farage 24 service in order to make room in the schedule for the daily Theresa May Show. In addition to her spectacular appearances on hourly news bulletins and interviews with senior and completely impartial political correspondents, Mrs May was honoured to share with the public her human side during an episode of Desert Island Discs. Ubiquity is seldom accidental.

Forget about bacon sandwiches and a couple of Labour MPs grumbling in a House of Commons bar prompting media types to bellow “leadership crisis”, ignore the continuing obsession with a single tweet featuring an image of a house and, for the sake of humanity, disregard pouting minor celebrities screeching outrage at the prospect of a mansion tax. If you require evidence of a “leadership crisis”, look instead toward defections, by election defeats, a feral 1922 committee, the omnipotence of the Home Secretary and a popular Twitter hash tag demanding that “Cameron Must Go”. (more…)

November 23, 2014

See Emily Play

Image via channel4.com

If the excitable and somewhat tarnished British media is to be believed, Emily Thornberry has posted the most disgusting, offensive, vile, inhumane and satanic tweet in the short but colourful history of social media. Publishing an image of a house festooned with no less than three, yes three, flags of St George and with a white van parked outside and with the evil, provocative and seditious caption “Rochester”, this Thornberry woman has dragged politics into the gutter by displaying contempt and derision targeted at hard-working, overweight used car dealers. (more…)

November 20, 2014

Cooking the books

Via cam.ac.uk

Via cam.ac.uk

With the polls about to open for the Rochester and Strood parliamentary by election and the three or four migrant Poles actually living in Rochester being rounded up by the media for their thoughts on transitional deportation, now is good time to categorically state that David Cameron is definitely not the most incompetent Prime Minister in living memory.

Facing electoral defeat in a safe Tory seat by a strange bloke who was recently a Tory but now asks the Kent electorate to vote for change by voting for him as the sitting MP, Cameron said he would throw the kitchen sink at Rochester. Opinion polls, which always must be taken with a pinch of salt, suggest that that the sink missed and Cameron avoided a nasty foot injury by ensuring that both his feet were planted firmly in his mouth as he dropped the Armitage Shanks. The strange Kipper bloke who was recently a Tory and is demanding change really dropped his phone into the urinal by suggesting that even perfectly legal migrants should face deportation. It is an indication of the toxicity of the hate mongering and scare stories spread by the Kippers and others that this outrageous statement will probably increase the strange bloke`s vote. (more…)

November 11, 2014

I promise to pay the bearer

Money

Like hearts, dreams, ambitions, mobile phones and the best wine glasses kept at the back of the cupboard for special occasions, promises are easily broken. There is a long and contemptuous tradition of politicians promising all manner of goodies to a gullible electorate without ever having any intention of coming up with the goods. When challenged to explain the failure to deliver pie-in-the-sky promises, the rulers with more ambition than heart usually ignore the awkward questions or sometimes talk of a change in circumstances or trot out the tired excuse that the promise was misunderstood by stupid voters.

The hilarious shambles in the House of Commons over the vote to have a vote on not having a vote to vote to enact a bill to re-adopt the European Arrest Warrant is just the latest farce in a long line of duplicitous wriggling that stretches back to the Stone Age. This particular pantomime, however, is different in that apart from being the funniest, it is likely to be something of a watershed moment for this awful coalition government. (more…)

November 8, 2014

Iron Chancellor

Via norton.com

Via norton.com

History might remember Otto von Bismarck as an aggressive, bullying stereotype in a silly pointy hat but, apart from the unpleasantness with Denmark, Austria and France, the Iron Chancellor managed to create a unified Germany and manufactured a relatively peaceful Western Europe until the turn of the 19th century. He also had a way with pithy one-liners some of which, even by today`s standards, are really rather funny. Proving forever that it is incorrect to suggest that Prussians lack a sense of humour, Otto once said:
“If you like laws and sausages, you should never watch either one being made.”

George Osborne might be remembered as a half-witted, inbred stereotype in what looks suspiciously like a silly syrup, but he has managed to create a disunited kingdom and an absolutely massive growth in manufacturing. Sadly, the only things being manufactured are distrust, division, distraction, despair and downright lies. If you like an equitable EU budget contribution adjustment and pork pies, look away now; preferably at that odd looking bloke over there eating a bacon butty. (more…)

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