In Godwin we trust

Who do you think you are kidding Mr Farage?

Put at its simplest, Godwin`s Law postulates that whenever any protagonist in a discussion, debate or argument offers a comparison juxtaposing current events with the German Third Reich, Nazi oppression or fascism in general then all credibility disappears and any argument is automatically lost. The law was formulated in 1990 by a bloke, unsurprisingly, called Mike Godwin who was, and is, a lawyer and an author. His intention was entirely laudable in that his “law” allows for an elegant disengagement of drunken keyboard warriors who inevitably compare anything they disagree with to fascism. More importantly, Godwin`s Law is there to counter internet bores who seem happy to compare, say, traffic wardens to storm troopers and in doing so trivialise the full horror of the holocaust.

Interestingly, this bit of social media fun has been enthusiastically embraced and modified by the political classes for their own purposes. At any sly reference to marching on Poland, bierkellers, bunkers, blitzkrieg or Nuremberg rallies, Godwin`s Law is evoked to silence any awkward criticism. A recent disturbing example of this failsafe escape clause was beautifully demonstrated by the Department of Work and Pensions in their reaction to the so-called Spartacus Report. The People`s Review of the Work Capability Assessment, to give its formal title, is an independent analysis of the impact that “Welfare Reforms” will have on people with disabilities and severe illness. The DWP are scared stiff of the report because it contains impeccable research, actual data, hard facts and conclusions so damning that ministers have refused to engage with the authors or discuss the ongoing carnage with the Spartacus campaign.

Instead, Iain Duncan Smith continues to make up stories to justify his blind ideology and continues with expenses claims of £39 for a single breakfast. The DWP will not discuss individual cases such as the grandmother who took her own life for the sake of £20 per week bedroom tax yet happily leak the names and addresses of those found guilty of benefit fraud. Clearly a minister of the crown who charges the tax payer £39 for his breakfast does not want to hear that benefit fraud totals £1.2billion, his departments` errors cost £2.2billion and unclaimed benefit amounts to £16billion. Let`s not talk about tax evasion and let`s not allow the shirkers and the scroungers to spoil a hearty breakfast.

Hanging on in quiet desperation

There was a time, long ago, when civic pride was measured by fine public buildings, the health and wellbeing of residents and the prosperity of a town. In present day Walsall, ambition and aspiration begins and ends with the opening of a shop selling cheap clothes and yet another bloody supermarket.

Desperate times call for desperate measures and the decision to “invest” £8million of public money in order to attract an exploitative bunch of bandits like Primark to Walsall is a sign of a clueless and desperate council. Given the less than heroic history of Walsall council`s financial management skills and slash and burn approach to urban regeneration, what could possibly go wrong?

Fashion victims

Image via waronwant.org

As something of a style icon and fashion god, total strangers often stop me in the street to ask for grooming tips and fashion advice. Well, girlfriends, the big news for this season is that red is the new black.

This evening (Tuesday), an extraordinary meeting of full Walsall council will take place with just one item on the agenda. Councillors will be asked to approve the allocation of nearly £8million to kick start the redevelopment of the Old Square shopping precinct in the town centre. It seems that private developers and potential retailers took one look at the project and thought twice resulting in our genius cabinet to offer them a load of our money for the privilege of trading in Walsall. Now some might say that in a free enterprise and entrepreneurial economy, the developer and corporate businesses should cough up the dosh for high street regeneration. But what these anarchists forget is that this is Walsall, the land where urban planning, green space strategy and economic regeneration is in the hands of a cabinet that lives on cloud cuckoo planet self interest.

The increasingly deranged Express and Star suggested that the “ambitious scheme” would be a “huge boost” to the fortunes of Walsall with the opening of “flagship” stores such as a Co-op supermarket and, brace yourselves fashionistas, Primark. Councillor Adrian Andrew, who recently awarded himself a substantial increase in councillor allowances, told the local rag;

Triple whopper with lies

Today is the third anniversary of the 2010 General Election and, like any normal three-year-old, the present coalition government has learnt to walk, talk and destroy things.

Quite a lot can be achieved in three years. You could, if so inclined, complete a university degree course and saddle yourself with debt and no hope of gainful employment. You could, with tenacity and stamina, produce three children and therefore enjoy a life of luxury by scrounging state benefits. Given an advantageous launch window and a suitable propulsion unit, you could journey in a space craft to Jupiter. You could train to be a nurse and save people`s lives only to find that your hospital is closing because a lying minister unqualified in health has decided that you are “uncaring”. You could become a teacher and educate three cohorts in Key Stage One or Key Stage Two only to be described by a lying minister unqualified in education as a Marxist for wishing to nurture children with a balanced curriculum. You could develop a serious disability or terminal illness in order to adopt a lifestyle choice of state benefit dependency only to be told by a lying minister unqualified as a human being that you are a feckless, workshy scrounger and will receive no support during the time it takes you to die.

Out, damned spot

South Shields image via mirror.co.uk

Imagine those poor lost souls still claiming to be Liberal Democrats waking up with the realisation that they were beaten into seventh place by an orange woman representing the BNP and calling herself Lady Dorothy Macbeth Brooke.

If losing their deposit was bad, losing to a racist with a fake tan must be the most spectacular act of retribution since Birnam Wood came to Dunsinane. A lost deposit in South Shields is nothing compared to lost principles, lost liberalism, lost manifesto promises and lost political credibility. On the night that Shirley Williams claimed on BBC Question Time that the Liberal Democrats had saved the NHS by voting with their Tory masters to privatise it, electorates across the country were voting for an “anti-establishment” one trick pony led by a public school stockbroker and followed by a host of white, male, middle-aged golf club Napoleons and dodgy double glazing salesmen. When Shirley and the others in the Gang of Four broke the mould of British politics, I would wager that she never imagined that it would end in the destruction of liberalism at the hands of little England xenophobes. We should congratulate UKIP for a 23 per cent share of the vote even if this is not sustainable. However, the greatest achievement in their 15 minutes of notoriety is the fact that they have seen off the spineless sacks of bat guano formally known as the Liberal Democrat Party. Nice one, Nigel.