The Plastic Hippo

July 11, 2014

Sleep well

Banksy via streetartutopia.com

Banksy via streetartutopia.com

In these dark and perilous hours, my thoughts and prayers are with my fellow British citizens as we face the most grievous emergency to ever threaten the very existence of our proud and free nation.

Hoards of organised criminals, terrorists, perverts and Trade Unionists are openly conspiring to send each other pictures of sodding cats and are communicating via comments about TV programmes that nobody else is watching. It is vital that we remain vigilant against this unspeakable plot and happily wave goodbye to civil liberties justifiably sacrificed on the sacred alter of national security. In David Cameron we have a leader who is at last courageous enough steam roller emergency legislation to allow government free access to every snippet of electronic communication without the unnecessary delay of allowing elected MPs to actually debate or even read the DRIP bill. (more…)

May 7, 2014

A year of living dangerously

Filed under: History,Politics,Rights,Society — theplastichippo @ 4:07 am
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Via sabc.co.za

Via sabc.co.za

In slightly less than 364 days, polling stations across the United Kingdom will open for business in the great general election of 2015. We can be certain of this thanks to the Fixed-Term Parliaments Act 2011 which, for the first time, ensures power for five whole years. Previously, parliament could only be dissolved by Royal Prerogative on the advice of the Prime Minister under the Septennial Act 1715 and its 1911 amendment. The coalition changed all that. The result is that we now have a government that failed to secure a mandate and regardless of the damage it is doing, is almost impossible to remove until May 7 2015.

In slightly less than 13 days, polling stations will open for voting in local and European elections. Usually, this exercise of the democratic right to elected representation results in something less than a stampede but this year might just be different. (more…)

December 29, 2013

Christmas in a parallel universe

Exterminate

Exterminate

The really nice thing about December is that the festive season offers various opportunities to indulge in activities collectively described as “traditional”. The requirement to eat too much, drink too much and then argue with your nearest and dearest is compulsory. Being completely baffled by the Dr Who Christmas Special is as traditional as watching the Queen read a script and the traditional January salutation “did you have a nice Christmas?” is gradually being transmogrified into “so, you survived Christmas then”.

Sadly, in these enlightened times, very few of us still paint ourselves blue and jump over open fires to celebrate the winter solstice. Fewer still slaughter a sacrificial goat in the traditional hope of keeping sabre-toothed tigers away or to encourage the return of the warm shiny thing that travels across the big blue thing just above our heads. Tradition, like language, is constantly evolving and it is a blessing that buying enough food and drink to last until doomsday because the shops are shut for a day is not further complicated by the need to purchase those hard to find gifts such as frankincense and myrrh. Gold and lamb chops, however, continue to retain their traditional charm. What better way to celebrate the birth of the saviour of humanity than the gift of an already time-limited obsolete gadget, a bottle of scotch and the onset of obesity. (more…)

December 18, 2013

Eight days a week

Filed under: Health,Media,Politics,Rights,Society — theplastichippo @ 3:36 am
Tags: ,
Image via nhs.uk

Image via nhs.uk

Sir Bruce Keogh, Medical Director of the NHS and Medical Director of the NHS Commissioning Board, is undoubtedly a very clever man. The former cardiac surgeon has undertaken a thorough, detailed examination of hospital mortality rates at weekends and has diagnosed that consultants need to work seven days a week. Funny that; I thought the NHS already worked seven days a week.

Sir Bruce might believe that consultants still spend the majority of their time playing golf only to occasionally descent upon a hospital in the form of James Robertson Justice to shout at and belittle junior housemen. The reality, however, is rather different and it does not require a god-like consultant to diagnose that a drunk with a pint glass embedded in his noggin on a Saturday night is not very well. (more…)

December 4, 2013

The magnificent seven

Filed under: Environment,Media,Politics,Rights,Society — theplastichippo @ 2:59 am
Tags: , , ,
Power to the people

Power to the people

Any suggestion that the big six energy companies are operating an illegal cartel to fix gas and electricity prices to ensure massive profit is entirely erroneous; there are a magnificent seven gunslingers in the illegal cartel.

Akira Kurosawa`s superb “Seven Samurai”, released in 1954, told the story of noble warriors protecting simple farmers against evil, pillaging bandits. Hollywood updated the scenario into the wild-west with “The Magnificent Seven” released in 1960. Later, in 1998, Pixar used the same story in “A Bug`s Life”. The 2013 version is a little more complex. We still have the evil, pillaging bandits and the slightly camp cowboys and the hopelessly inept circus troop but we simple farmers might be a little confused as to who the mercenary protectors are and who the pillaging bandits might actually be. (more…)

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