According to the BBC, if you speak your mind in Hong Kong you are a pro-democracy supporter demanding freedom but, according to the Home Secretary, if you speak your mind in the United Kingdom then you are a murderous terrorist who must be silenced. There can be no better commemoration of the imposition of a ruthless, totalitarian junta than patriotic speeches in Beijing and in Birmingham`s magnificent Symphony Hall.
In terms of simple hilarity, the 2014 Conservative Party Conference has been the most successful celebration of eye watering hypocrisy since communist China`s notorious cultural revolution. The Tory long march to the dismantling of society, the end of compassion and the destruction of common decency concluded with a stirring yet vacuous speech from the most inadequate Prime Minister in living memory. If this wide-boy survives until May it will be conclusive proof that God has a strange sense of humour. (more…)
Lord Snooty via thecomicartwebsite.com
Saturday 27th September 2014
Woke up really early and was so excited because today is the day that I get to start my very own war. It`s really nice being in charge of the Royal Air Force but after I told them that they could, I`m a bit disappointed that they didn`t kill anybody on the first day.
Had breakfast; sugar puffs, boiled egg and soldiers and a glass of milk. When nanny wasn`t looking, I pinched a Hobnob from the biscuit barrel. Result.
Played Minecraft after breakfast. Lynton came storming in shouting some very rude words about being reckless. I could tell he was upset because he was shouting louder than usual and the swear-words were ruder as well. I have absolutely no idea what he was on about but he must be right because he is so clever and he is paid so much money. He left and I think he said that he was going to ring Michael Gove or he might have said that was going to wring Michael Gove`s neck. (more…)
The polling places have closed, the ballots have been cast and the votes are being counted. Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day but I have a bottle of Lagavulin, a huge bag of Twiglets and the day off tomorrow. By breakfast time, both the Union and I are likely to be wasted.
Shakespeare knew a thing or two about politics and statehood but even his fertile imagination could not have conjured up such an incredible plot. If MacDuff were to ask “stands Scotland where it did?” the answer would be “no”, or possibly “yes”. For the first time, Scotland`s fate has been decided by the pencil rather than the sword and the biggest loser regardless of the vote will be David Cameron. (more…)
The BBC has today found itself at the centre of controversy as thousands of confused viewers and listener jammed the corporation`s switchboard with complaints of baffling, inaccurate and misleading news reporting. Concerned licence-fee payers noticed that erroneous news items were being broadcast that contained more than the usual disconnection from reality. Important issues were ignored and global events were said to be taking place in completely different parts of the world.
The transcript of one news bulletin obtained by elements of the subversive press indicates the seriousness of the problem. It reads: (more…)