The Plastic Hippo

December 21, 2010

Coriolanus – brush up your Shakespeare

Filed under: Politics,Walsall — theplastichippo @ 3:34 am

Now you`ve freed my arms, let me out of here. I have nukes.

There comes a time when repetitive mockery becomes tedious and only so much scorn can be heaped upon the hopeless, the inadequate and the inept. So let us hear no more bile and invective directed at Walsall cabinet, Mike Bird, Serco, Tesco, the ring road, the bins , the grit and the absent political opposition until at least Boxing Day. But let us allow ourselves one last indulgence in a final hurrah for the Cable guy and the Liberal Democrats.

With seven months experience as business secretary under his belt, Vince seems to think he has the power to “bring the government down” by resigning from office. Like a rogue Coriolanus bestriding the world armed with “nuclear weapons”, he joins the patrician ranks to quell the unruly plebeian rioters. However, Coriolanus was dissuaded from destroying Rome and never made an arse of himself by appearing on Strictly Come Dancing. Vince and the Roman share a sense of self-importance and delusion and both are likely to share the same political fate.

Cable has some previous when it comes to being stung by journalists. He told some local hack in his constituency that he might abstain in the vote on increasing tuition fees, a policy for which he is responsible, and bleated that he did not expect the reporter to report his comments. He did not abstain even as riots raged across Parliament Square. A pledge, it seems, is only suitable for polishing the cabinet table.

Now he has told undercover journalists from the Telegraph that he will destroy Westminster if he is “pushed too far” over the likely scrapping of the winter fuel allowance to pensioners during the coldest winter since the siege of Corioles when our Roman friend defeated the Volscians. For his sake, one can only hope that threats to blow up airports posted on Twitter are viewed by the judiciary as more serious than threats of nuclear strikes made in the Daily Telegraph.

Vince might think he has the power, but Cameron is hugging himself with delight as the Libdem human shield is taking all the hits and Clegg is busy texting David Laws to see if he is busy after Christmas. Renting a room from your lover and then claiming the expense is small beer compared to broken promises on education, VAT, criminal justice, benefits, social care, the NHS, transport, reform of the banking system and the gerrymandering of constituencies in the name of AV. What have the Romans ever done for us?

Either way, Vince is now toast. A rapid return to the back benches or a resounding endorsement and expression of confidence from the Prime Minister will result in the coalition falling apart and an unelected government fiddling as Rome burns. Locally, Walsall Liberal Democrats will continue to attack the historical misbehaviour of the previous Labour government and ignore the savagery of a Conservative controlled council. Labour will sit back and like B`rer Fox will lay low, say nothing and wait for the right moment to pounce. The sly Miliband boy will entice the disgraced junior partners into his lair and offer some kind of compromised salvation.

Far from being humiliated by their betrayal and political naïvety, the Liberal Democrats will remain as the power brokers and continue to entertain us with the rabbit in the headlights stasis when faced with the realities of grown up politics.

But enough hubris, they deserve to be allowed to rest in peace. At least until twelfth night.

***** UPDATE *****

Declaring war on Rupert Murdoch is not the shrewdest of actions even for a duplicitous cabinet minister new to power. As naïve as Vince is, even he must realise that the appointment and survival of ministers is in the control of Murdoch.

The leaked audio tape is as disturbing as the tape of Lord Young slurring that we have never had it so good to a background of well-heeled plate scraping at a posh dinner. The soundtrack that accompanied Vince was giggling popsies pretending to be impressed by the power of an old fool.

Ironically, Cable becomes damaged goods by revealing a stance that would be supported by everyone who favours unbiased, intelligent and responsible news reporting. Andy Coulson survives and so will Vince for a while because it will be too damaging to drop him. Only Murdoch wins.

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