When this humble blog insinuated itself into the ether, its surly author baffled by unfamiliar technology, agonised over the possibility of abusive “comments” being returned in response to the inane, miserable nonsense contained within these pages. More worrying was the possibility of no “comments” at all. But theplastichippo has arrived. We are in the presence of local legend and literary giant Mr IAN PAYNE.
Victor Hugo upon completing his master-work, Les Miserables, took a holiday and in 1862 wrote to his publisher. Clearly exhausted by producing a three page, 823 word sentence contained in his novel, Victor wanted to know how sales were going. He simply wrote “?”. In contrast to a biography of a 1950`s supporting film actor, “Les Mis”, as it became know in the West End more than a century later, was flying off the shelves. Hugo`s publisher replied with “!”.
With a charming fondness for upper case when writing his name, Mr IAN PAYNE has commented on another comment on this humble blog. Regular contributor Martin juxtaposed a crowing cockerel with the imagined reaction of a narrow-minded self-publicising irritant. Astonishingly, Mr IAN PAYNE took this as some kind of compliment along with a tawdry bit of fluff posted way back in December. He also claimed to agree with the hippo regarding the Walsall illuminations regardless of previous evidence within these pages that the hippo says good riddance to that particular pile of tat. It was down to the redoubtable Brownhills Bob to get to the bottom of this miraculous conversion from bigot to all-round jolly good fellow.
At the suggestion of the “lord and master” of the northern wastes, a quick look at the search log reveals someone looking for “is ian payne of walsall an irritant” just before the comment was posted and some 16 days after the piece was published. Note the absence of upper case and the rather sad mix of narcissism and a need to be loved.
Of the five magnificent sentences offered by Mr IAN PAYNE, two end with a series of full stops and the other three with a series of explanation marks. Literary skills worthy of Victor Hugo`s publisher but without the brevity. The cheery bonhomie is, however, less beguiling than the previous bellicose glumness.
The suggestion by Brownhills Bob that Mr IAN PAYNE publishes his own blog is a good one. The entertainment would be superb !!!!!!
He allowed comments……he will be thrilled with our reaction!!!!!!
And he can go and Google himself…….