The Plastic Hippo

May 16, 2011


Filed under: Fiction,Politics,Walsall — theplastichippo @ 3:14 pm

Dear councillor,
Walsall council tax payers cordially invite you to the grand opening of the mayoral drinks cabinet to celebrate the start of the new municipal year.

Dress code: formal but no hoodies, trainers or baseball caps.

6-00pm. Drinks, canapés and excuses on the terrace.

6-30pm. Meeting of the full council.

6-35pm. Hors D’oeuvre: Pan fried Willenhall stool pigeon served with a compote of vodka-stuffed hand-picked lentils and a rhubarb jus of broken promises.

Entrée: Mechanically separated Pheasey Park Farm meat product patty in a sesame pain de Tesco avec le Kraft fromage slice served with extra pomme frite anglais on a bed of parking tickets and complimented by top-sliced education and crushed social services.

Vegetarian entrée: Pickled red cabbage infused with an invisible policy sorbet and shaved banana skins served with vegetable kebabs and very little else.

Dessert: Fudge.

Cheese board with Bath Olivers.

8-30pm. Dancing to the Titanic dance-band.

Carriages at 10-00pm on Thursday 3rd May 2012.



  1. You could also add ‘coq up bird’ to the menu a la Shelfield Industrial Unit (86, Lichfield Road). Another Bird carve up. It is not what you know it is definitely who you know. repair and renewal brick built, tiled building to match other commercial properties in the area. What planet is Bird on?

    Comment by Phil Brown — May 28, 2011 @ 11:05 am | Reply

  2. […] appearance in public, a turn of events so shocking to a few old Tory hands that they conspired to mount an unsuccessful putsch, failing to overthrow their mouthpiece in chief. The subsequent cold front engulfing some […]

    Pingback by The madness of King Bird « BrownhillsBob's Brownhills Blog — August 31, 2011 @ 11:35 pm | Reply

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