The Plastic Hippo

June 17, 2011

Mars attacks

Filed under: Fiction — theplastichippo @ 2:10 pm

They are here. We have to be vigilant. They want to cut our throats in the night and steal our children and our birth right. We have to protect our way of life. We have to defend ourselves against…

People who are different from us.

They are amongst us and they are everywhere. Apart from the ones that look, think and act like us, they are easily recognised because they don`t look, think or act like us. But let us be clear about their dastardly plan. They will stop at nothing in achieving their evil plot to walk on our pavements, shop in our shops, breath the very air that belongs to us and park their demonic caravans of deceit on our historic village greens, beauty spots and burnt-out, derelict waste sites that are vital to our urban regeneration. They have to be stopped or, at least, moved on under Section 62A of the 1994 Criminal Justice and Public Order Act.

They are different and should, therefore, be forced to go somewhere different from here.

These invaders manifest themselves in many different forms. Their leaders are cunning and remain safe on the mother ship. These seven foot long lizards, with bulging eyes and external brains order their slavish minions to take over our world with ruthless, ungodly savagery. Oh yes. They trespass on public, common ground that is rightfully ours and deny us our historical rights to meths drinking, shooting up and dogging. We have to fight to maintain our God given freedom.

Do not be fooled by the do-gooder, bleeding heart, soft soap, namby-pamby excuses offered by so-called “liberals”. These demons are masters of disguise and have infiltrated every level of our precious society. Even the heroic efforts of our local councillors and MPs have been thwarted by the reptiles in mufti who want bail hostels and prisons for delinquent children placed in the heart of our civilised communities. These aliens talk of “24 hour supervision” and “autism” but the truth is that they want to have different people living near to normal ones like us.

We should arm ourselves with pitch forks and flaming torches to drive out these invaders before they take our souls. We should force them back inside the television where we can witness their big, fat weddings with the smug enjoyment of the knowledge that we are more tasteful than them. They have no place in our nice, caring, compassionate neighbourhoods and should go somewhere else.

We have to remain vigilant.


  1. okay you talking about travellers here …aren’t you

    Comment by themushroom — June 17, 2011 @ 2:34 pm | Reply

  2. Don’t panic. Frank’s on his way. He’s going to sing!

    Comment by Aunti Septic — June 17, 2011 @ 6:08 pm | Reply

  3. Ohhhhh….wonderful. Be careful out there

    Comment by Linda — June 17, 2011 @ 11:11 pm | Reply

  4. This is a fantastic piece, and shows the controlled, fierce excoriation and biting wit that the Hippo is capable of, and why I love reading his work.
    Don’t go quietly into the night, sunshine. Your town needs you.

    Best wishes


    Comment by BrownhillsBob — June 18, 2011 @ 9:23 am | Reply

  5. Brilliant!!

    Comment by walsamule — June 18, 2011 @ 11:37 am | Reply

  6. I have been saying for years we need a darn good civil war in this country. And it draws closer by the day ……….. i can’t wait 😀

    Comment by Caveman — June 18, 2011 @ 10:44 pm | Reply

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