The Plastic Hippo

May 30, 2012

The return of Teflon Tony

Filed under: Politics — theplastichippo @ 12:37 am

It`s been a long time since 1997 and the promise of an end to political sleaze and corruption. The Right Honourable Anthony Charles Lynton Blair presented himself to the Leveson inquiry and furiously denied any suggestion of a deal between newspaper proprietors and New Labour. Phew, thank goodness for that.

No mention, though, of the deal that secured media silence over the Blair progeny or the then Prime Minister`s lurch toward Catholicism. The letter from a Cardinal telling Blair to stop attending mass because he wasn`t actually a Catholic, the unfortunate arrest conducted in a pool of vomit and the genuinely sad suicide attempts went mercifully unreported. Cherie, when the need arose to flog a book, did however furnish us with the fact that her contraceptive “apparatus” was unpacked for her by flunkies at Balmoral. One should always think of the children but only after thinking of the publishing royalties.

The Leveson Inquiry has descended into utter farce. Rupert gets a pie in the mush, Hislop extracts the urine and some bonkers fruitcake accuses Blair of war crimes. War crimes? For goodness sake we have all seen the conclusive evidence of weapons of mass destruction. It`s there, in the same filing cabinet along with Ruth Kelly`s CV and the post mortem report on Dr David Kelly. When Blair`s bodyguards bundled the obvious terrorist out, all we needed was the irritating soundtrack of dreadful urban yodelling provided by Whitney Houston bellowing I Will Always Love You.

Sadly for Tony, despite being the only British Labour Prime Minister to deliver three election victories, despite the Good Friday agreement, the minimum wage, the Freedom of Information Act and an increase in growth and a decrease in unemployment, we will not always love you because of a stupid and unnecessary war.

Leveson went totally gaga when the awful Michael Gove turned up. Gove attempted to defend freedom of expression by accusing bloggers of “inaccurate, offensive and intrusive” posts. Not at all like the News of the World when they hacked a dead girl`s phone. Hey, Michael, you are a bastard and you are damaging children. Sue me.

Blair survives, Gove survives, and the tax on pasties is reversed. We will just have to continue on a diet of pork pies, bunting and an exposed flame on the top of Lord Snowden. The frying pan that ruined the full English will need a thorough cleaning


  1. War criminal

    Comment by Abandon TV — May 30, 2012 @ 2:36 am | Reply

  2. The reality of all of this is of true nightmare quality.

    The Blair Government made a massive balls-up of almost every serious matter, but as Hippo has listed, did some useful stuff.

    That Blair, self-named ‘servant of the people’, has milked the system so well as to be able to employ, let alone need his own bodyguards is almost laughable.What a pity that he chose to ruin his and his ex- party’s reputation by his total disregard for ethics, propriety and personal responsibilty.

    That he then explained that he sought to ‘manage’ the media, rather than confront it, rings true. Blair, of course, is the master of management, even to the extent of becoming the Godfather of the Murdoch brood. Scary, don’t you think?

    Still, I suppose that 30 years of selfless graft in the public interest should lead to some sort of financial recompense. After all, he could have earned millions as a barrister. However, given his record on human rights, I suspect that Cherie and Matrix would have not welcomed him to the fold. In view of Cherie’s elevation to the judiciary and her previous high profile cases of human rights issues, this may now no longer apply.

    The Realist

    ps JRR Tolkien invented Gollum as a malign sub conscious message that was tempting but needed to be ignored. Bilbo and Frodo eventually triumph by force of will and personal belief. Pupils, teachers, parents, administrators and anyone else who cares about the future of our children need to get together, apply their collective will-power and dis-invent Gove as a matter of extreme urgency.

    Comment by The Realist — June 1, 2012 @ 12:16 pm | Reply

  3. As ever. Excellent post. I always had time for Blair, in the early days. Then the lies were exposed.


    Comment by Antony N Britt — June 3, 2012 @ 9:49 am | Reply

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