Last Friday afternoon this humble blog published a hastily cobbled together post that requires an unreserved apology. It had been a long and extremely frustrating day but that is no excuse for poor grammar and shoddy sentence construction. This blog did not use the words that have been attributed to it.
The reason for publishing with such indecent haste was a firm belief that government chief whip and Conservative MP for Sutton Coldfield Andrew Mitchell would be on the six o`clock news announcing his intent to spend more time with his family or David Cameron puking up some platitudes about there being no place for rude, arrogant, ego centric, vile bastards in today`s Conservative Party. The six came and went, so did the ten and so did Newsnight. The weekend slipped by without any mention of a future concentration on the concerns of Sutton Coldfield constituents or contracts with TV reality shows. Monday dawned and Mitchell still had his job with Cameron expressing full confidence in his chief whip and Cabinet Secretary Sir Jeremy Heywood saying that there was no need for any further investigation or inquiry because Mitchell had said sorry for calling a police officer who was protecting him a “f**king pleb”. The chief whip now wants to “draw a line” and “get on with his work”. Tuesday came and went with talk of Mitchell being a victim of police brutality because, as we all know, every police officer in the country hates cyclists.
It might be worth considering exactly what work Andrew Mitchell does. The main requirement on the job description for chief whip is that the candidate is expected to be a ruthless, vindictive and often violent bully. Andrew Mitchell is perfect for the role even given the feral idiocy of Conservative MP`s. His job is to keep the barking mad upper class twits in some semblance of order and not to embarrass the head boy or the school. It is, to be fair, not an easy job to do especially when one considers the morals and ethics of both front and back bench Conservative members of parliament. Accepting a certain degree of inbreeding and a total disconnect from the real world, the lot of a Conservative chief whip is not a happy one and it takes a man of rare brutality to keep these reptiles in check. Who better than a public school bully like Mitchell to enforce the carnage currently ruining this country?
The short term avoidance of an embarrassing resignation by an arrogant anal sphincter caught publicly doing what is second nature to him and his bigoted chums will have far reaching consequences. As the fraud and corruption at the heart of the Conservative Party becomes ever more evident, the chief whip can no longer expect dull compliance from lunatic Tory members of parliament. Any attempt to whip them into the lobby will be greeted with a cheery call of “f**k off”. Far from being a terrifying bully, Andrew Mitchell and his credibility is a joke. Similarly, if the member for Sutton Coldfield has the nerve to show his face in that noble constituency, it is unlikely that voters will appreciate him insulting police officers. He could, of course, rely on the support of the many anarchists in Four Oaks and Walmley who still cling to the erroneous claim that all coppers are bastards. Either way, if he survives to the next election, it is likely that Mr Mitchell will return to the honest graft of investment banking.
More importantly, perhaps, is the established fact that police officers lie. Ignoring the reporting in the dreadful and disgraced Sun, it took the Daily Telegraph to publish the notes made by the police officer involved. David Cameron has chosen to believe the account given by his chief whip rather than the evidence submitted by the police officer. Therefore, any ruffian up before the beak can offer the “Mitchell defence” as endorsed by the Prime Minister. The police, according to Mitchell and Cameron, are liars. The good people of the Birmingham constituency of Sutton Coldfield might wish to consider who to believe; a public school investment banker or a member of the Diplomatic Protection Unit who, one assumes, has been the subject of rigorous vetting and can be considered as being part of the elite in an increasingly thinning blue line.
The Conservative government has not only lost its moral compass, it has bashed it to bits with several sledge hammers. Jeremy Hunt told lies in parliament and is promoted to sell off the NHS to Tory donors. David Laws, a Tory by any other name, defrauds the public purse of thousands and is allowed to return to government responsible for, of all things, education. The vile Duncan Smith continues to claim that people with disabilities and the terminally ill are scroungers and the utterly hopeless Osborne is increasing state borrowing and making the deficit worse.
It took a long time for the smell of corruption and lingering death to pervade the Major government and an equally long time for the Blair/Brown administration to curl up and die. This present bunch of crooks, only half way through the parliament, emit a stench so rank that skunks would wish to associate themselves with badgers and welcome a bullet to the brain.
It is a shame that the Labour Party continues to hide in its burrow.