The Plastic Hippo

September 26, 2012

Andrew Mitchell

Filed under: Birmingham,Law,Politics — theplastichippo @ 4:25 pm
Wheels of steel

Wheels of steel

Last Friday afternoon this humble blog published a hastily cobbled together post that requires an unreserved apology. It had been a long and extremely frustrating day but that is no excuse for poor grammar and shoddy sentence construction. This blog did not use the words that have been attributed to it.

The reason for publishing with such indecent haste was a firm belief that government chief whip and Conservative MP for Sutton Coldfield Andrew Mitchell would be on the six o`clock news announcing his intent to spend more time with his family or David Cameron puking up some platitudes about there being no place for rude, arrogant, ego centric, vile bastards in today`s Conservative Party. The six came and went, so did the ten and so did Newsnight. The weekend slipped by without any mention of a future concentration on the concerns of Sutton Coldfield constituents or contracts with TV reality shows. Monday dawned and Mitchell still had his job with Cameron expressing full confidence in his chief whip and Cabinet Secretary Sir Jeremy Heywood saying that there was no need for any further investigation or inquiry because Mitchell had said sorry for calling a police officer who was protecting him a “f**king pleb”. The chief whip now wants to “draw a line” and “get on with his work”. Tuesday came and went with talk of Mitchell being a victim of police brutality because, as we all know, every police officer in the country hates cyclists.

It might be worth considering exactly what work Andrew Mitchell does. The main requirement on the job description for chief whip is that the candidate is expected to be a ruthless, vindictive and often violent bully. Andrew Mitchell is perfect for the role even given the feral idiocy of Conservative MP`s. His job is to keep the barking mad upper class twits in some semblance of order and not to embarrass the head boy or the school. It is, to be fair, not an easy job to do especially when one considers the morals and ethics of both front and back bench Conservative members of parliament. Accepting a certain degree of inbreeding and a total disconnect from the real world, the lot of a Conservative chief whip is not a happy one and it takes a man of rare brutality to keep these reptiles in check. Who better than a public school bully like Mitchell to enforce the carnage currently ruining this country?

The short term avoidance of an embarrassing resignation by an arrogant anal sphincter caught publicly doing what is second nature to him and his bigoted chums will have far reaching consequences. As the fraud and corruption at the heart of the Conservative Party becomes ever more evident, the chief whip can no longer expect dull compliance from lunatic Tory members of parliament. Any attempt to whip them into the lobby will be greeted with a cheery call of “f**k off”. Far from being a terrifying bully, Andrew Mitchell and his credibility is a joke. Similarly, if the member for Sutton Coldfield has the nerve to show his face in that noble constituency, it is unlikely that voters will appreciate him insulting police officers. He could, of course, rely on the support of the many anarchists in Four Oaks and Walmley who still cling to the erroneous claim that all coppers are bastards. Either way, if he survives to the next election, it is likely that Mr Mitchell will return to the honest graft of investment banking.

More importantly, perhaps, is the established fact that police officers lie. Ignoring the reporting in the dreadful and disgraced Sun, it took the Daily Telegraph to publish the notes made by the police officer involved. David Cameron has chosen to believe the account given by his chief whip rather than the evidence submitted by the police officer. Therefore, any ruffian up before the beak can offer the “Mitchell defence” as endorsed by the Prime Minister. The police, according to Mitchell and Cameron, are liars. The good people of the Birmingham constituency of Sutton Coldfield might wish to consider who to believe; a public school investment banker or a member of the Diplomatic Protection Unit who, one assumes, has been the subject of rigorous vetting and can be considered as being part of the elite in an increasingly thinning blue line.

The Conservative government has not only lost its moral compass, it has bashed it to bits with several sledge hammers. Jeremy Hunt told lies in parliament and is promoted to sell off the NHS to Tory donors. David Laws, a Tory by any other name, defrauds the public purse of thousands and is allowed to return to government responsible for, of all things, education. The vile Duncan Smith continues to claim that people with disabilities and the terminally ill are scroungers and the utterly hopeless Osborne is increasing state borrowing and making the deficit worse.

It took a long time for the smell of corruption and lingering death to pervade the Major government and an equally long time for the Blair/Brown administration to curl up and die. This present bunch of crooks, only half way through the parliament, emit a stench so rank that skunks would wish to associate themselves with badgers and welcome a bullet to the brain.

It is a shame that the Labour Party continues to hide in its burrow.


  1. This is accurate and terrible in equal measure. Thank you for the clarity.

    Comment by janemccourt — September 26, 2012 @ 10:55 pm | Reply

  2. Reblogged this on retiredandangry and commented:
    Shame on you Camoron, Tories used to be the party of Law and Order, now they’re just a bunch of bullies. Nice blog

    Comment by retiredandangry — September 26, 2012 @ 11:14 pm | Reply

  3. Hippo

    No need to apologise for what remains a stunning post and follow-up.

    The really scary thing about this espisode is not the entirely predictable closing of senior ranks by the party of ‘law and order’, but the breathtaking hypocrisy of Clegg and his hideous bunch of opportunists.
    Mitchell is a real pice of work, but pales when compared to Clegg.

    Let’s be honest, we all knew that Mitchell was a total git, despite being voted in by the good Burgers of Sutton Coldfield. Clegg is a different kettle of fish. Or is he?

    Let’s check his record

    The Leader of the Liberal Democratic Party has, by his call for a line to be drawn under Mitchellgate, finally established his credentials as a fully-paid up member of the Bullingham Club, not that there was ever any doubt.

    He happily promotes the restoration of David Law – a convicted but unpunished fraudster – to a major government position, but fails to condemn the pursuit and punishment of people whose ill health and personal circumstances prevents them from working.

    Clegg supports the idea of educational opportunities for all, while endorsing the right of Goves Academies to choose their pupils. He stands by the huge reductions in childcare provision and the selection-based lunacy of Gove’s examination proposals. I won’t even go near his stance on university tuition fees and his tacit acceptance of the demolition of the further education sector

    He backs the NHS, but is perfectly prepared to see it sold off piecemeal, at knockdown prices, to Dave’s favourite companies .He also agrees that it is perfectly OK for Jeremy Hunt, a man whose probity has been seriously challenged, knows bugger all about healthcare, but who has an impeccable educationa and social pedigree, to be given the chance to furthe privatise the NHS. Clegg talks much about local health provision, but tacitly endorses the pillage of community health care, started by Landesley, to be continued by Hunt

    He argues for fairness in taxation, but has consistently failed to challenge multi-national tax-dodgers, corrupt procurement practices and bent tax deals. No surprise really, as Vince Cable was once the Chief Economist of Shell Oil. This is a company that has almost the worst record for tax avoidance, environmental pillage and human rights abuse

    Clegg supports localism, but has helped to bring about the financial destruction of local services and local accountability. Consequently, millions have become disenfranchised, disillusioned and made desperate. As a by-product ,Clegg has also destroyed the political bedrock of Libdem support and strength. It itself’ this may be no bad thing, but it is inevitable that such a democratic deficit is unlikely to benefit the majority.

    He bleats that all of this is in the national interest. He may sincerely hold this opinion. The rest of us see him as spineless, opportunistic and shallow. Afraid to upset his Tory master, Clegg appears to be willing to go with any old Tory codswallop, swallow it and regurgitate it as an apology.

    Someone really ought to sue the Liberal Democrats under the Trades Description Sale of Goods (1978) Act.
    Failing this, we can only hope that the increasingly disillusioned electorate will see fit to consign Cleggs cronies (and the odious Mitchell) to the obscurity they so richly deserve and one that is the lot of the common majority.

    At least this might require them to live by the same moral, social and legal codes that govern the rest of us.

    Unfortunately, people like Mitchell, Cameron and Clegg have not yet understood and absorbed apparently ethereal notions such as honesty, courtesy, compassion and tolerance.

    Perhaps a spell in one of Gove’s new Academies might help them.

    The Realist

    Comment by The Realsit — September 28, 2012 @ 1:41 pm | Reply

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at

%d bloggers like this: