The Plastic Hippo

October 11, 2012

You can come out now…they`ve gone

Filed under: Birmingham,Politics,Society — theplastichippo @ 2:23 am

At the end of the political party conference season, two things have slowly but surely become blindingly obvious. Firstly, there is irrefutable proof that God does not exist and secondly, none of the political parties actually want to be elected.

After not winning the 2010 election, the Conservatives brokered a sordid deal with the Liberal Democrats with the promise of trinkets, milk, honey and a handful of shining beads. Clegg and his chums went from schoolboy in a sweet shop to haggard, abused whore in the space of months. Realising that they would never be free from their pimp, they have lost all self respect and continue to endure humiliation after humiliation knowing that they colluded in axing support for victims of domestic violence. They have nowhere to go and after being promised a sniff of power have traded a moment of false glory for an eternity of annihilation. With members leaving in droves and even if the party survives, the Liberal Democrats do not want to be elected.

The Labour party suffered a crushing defeat in the 2010 election and took an extraordinary amount of time to elect a new leader when the coalition was at its weakest. Eventually, the new leader was, to put it mildly, a bit of a disappointment. Only following two years of grooming by style gurus, voice coaches and instructions from media experts regarding which camera to look into, Ed Miliband emerged with the ability to memorise a speech and hijack an ancient Tory sound bite. The Labour strategy seems to have been to allow the Tories to screw up and not intervene. How else can we explain appointing Stephen Twigg to shadow the gaga Michael Gove on education when a very, very small piece of string with a knot tied at both ends would have been more effective? Labour has seen the future and do not want to be elected.

Grabbing their chance, the Conservatives rushed through legislation based on an ideological hatred for all things societal using the bogus justification of inherited deficit. Reducing the state and maximising profit for the wealthy few were the priorities. Cuts to public services and turning a blind eye to the excesses of greed were the orders of the day. After two years of austerity for middle, low and non earners coupled with tax breaks and bonuses for the rich, it doesn`t need the IMF to tell Cameron and Osborne that Plan A has failed. The Tories have had a look at the books and now realise that the future has no future. This might explain the parade of cabinet ministers in Birmingham making a succession of dreadful speeches designed to make them look ridiculous. Plan A has turned into a scorched earth policy of plunder and then destruction. The Conservatives do not want to be elected.

There is, however, a legacy from the 2012 Conservative party conference in Birmingham that will outlast the few inconsequential bits of raw meat thrown to the Tory rottweilers in Symphony Hall. Beating up burglars and offering dodgy share deals in exchange for maternity leave have already been forgotten even before the Virgin train conveying ministers back to London broke down somewhere south of New Street station. The Tories have proved that God is dead.

If, as some maintain, God sees, hears and knows everything and that he is both a merciful and vengeful God, then he must have been playing golf during the Conservative party conference. Given the level of lies, deception and unadulterated evil spouted in one of the finest concert halls in the world, the absence of thunderbolts, plagues of locusts and four horsemen charging across Centenary Square suggests that God is falling down on his job. If he is not prepared to do a job, then he is a slacker and a scrounger and is, therefore, surplus to requirements. Ministers leaving the ICC on Wednesday dared not look back for fear of being turned into a pillar of salt.

Of all the sinners, Cameron is the more sinned than sinning. His speech was an abomination against the truth. He said he had made “an insolvent nation solvent again.” This country has never been insolvent. He said he had protected the NHS from spending cuts. Wards and hospitals have closed and 5,500 nurses have been cut as Tory party donors profit from privatised hospitals. He again claimed that in spite of all the evidence that the deficit had been cut by 25 per cent. The deficit is increasing. He again blamed the previous government and said:
“Whatever the day, whatever the question, whatever the weather is: borrow more money. Borrow, borrow, borrow. Labour: the party of one notion: more borrowing.”
It does not instil confidence in a Prime Minister or a Chancellor of the Exchequer when that fact is that this government has borrowed more money than the previous government and so far this year borrowing has increased £10.6billion since last year. Are you listening to this, God?

Even given the cut and thrust of yah boo politics, Cameron has exposed himself as an utterly vile hypocrite. After claiming that “reforms” to health, education and welfare were successes, he went into man of the people mode. He told us that he wanted every child to go to Eton like he did and criticised “left wing” state education. He went into Tiny Tim mode and told us of a long walk with his late, disabled, stockbroker, off-shore tax avoider dear old dad. How ironic that the current ATOS disability assessments prove that dear old dad was not actually disabled because he could undertake a “long walk”.

But perhaps the most unpleasant aspect of this insulting speech was Cameron`s mercenary reference to his dead, disabled son. Even the most vicious of Cameron`s critics have avoided any mention of Ivan Cameron, a boy with cerebral palsy and epilepsy who died aged six. This has always been considered a private family heartbreak and is not the concern of politics or point scoring. Cameron has now changed that. The trembling lip and breaking voice might have been genuine, but to exploit this tragedy in pursuit of political advantage is despicable and indicative of just how much trouble Cameron is in. His government is systematically removing support from children like Ivan even though that same Disability Living Allowance was claimed by Cameron who remains the product of inherited wealth and privilege. Some of us do not have the choice between sinking or swimming. Some of us are drowning.

You can read the transcript of Cameron`s speech here.



  1. A majestic piece of work. One of the best

    Comment by aideym — October 11, 2012 @ 3:56 am | Reply

  2. Excellent as always

    Comment by Mick Davies — October 11, 2012 @ 7:32 am | Reply

  3. Deeply depressing, scarily accurate and terrifingly prescient.

    I particularly enjoyed the unfavourable comparison of Stephen Twiggs performance to that of a knotted piece of string, but it didn’t go far enough. After all, with a little imagination, there are, as any schoolboy knows, some useful things that can be done with a knotted piece of string. In contrast, absolutely nothing can be done with the wretched Twigg.

    If there ever was a God, he/she must have committed suicide by now.

    The Realist

    Comment by The Realist — October 11, 2012 @ 9:36 am | Reply

  4. Top Man

    Comment by andy — October 11, 2012 @ 1:52 pm | Reply

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