The Plastic Hippo

December 22, 2012

Cheat long and prosper

Filed under: Education,Politics,Walsall — theplastichippo @ 12:14 am
Image via Stickerish

Image via Stickerish

When Arsenal winger Santi Cazorla took a dive worthy of Tom Daley to be awarded a penalty against West Bromwich Albion, the resulting goal led to a Baggie`s defeat. Arsene Wenger did not like the accusations of cheating.

A week later, mop topped Everton midfielder Marouane Fellaini secured a draw against Stoke City with a deft, skilful header. Sadly, the footballing heroism did not involve the ball but rather the skull of Stoke`s Ryan Shawcross. The referee did not see the incident and Fellaini remained on the field of play. Cameras, however, did record the nutting and Fellaini received a deserved three match ban. Cheats, one would hope, never prosper.

Recently, culture secretary Maria Miller declined to answer questions regarding the £90,000 she allegedly claimed for a second home when she was, in fact, staying at the house of her parents. After alienating and demonising people with disabilities, she was promoted to culture as a replacement for Jeremy Hunt who, you might remember, lied to parliament and the Leveson Inquiry and was subsequently promoted to health. Ms Miller, a former PR executive, did not want to distract attention from the unholy pig`s ear she was making of the same sex marriage shambles in which she attempted to justify the bizarre and divisive exception of the Churches of England and Wales in performing ceremonies involving people with similar genitalia. The Catholic Church must be wondering how to solve a problem like Maria.

Consider the implacable silence of my Lord Stephen Green, Baron Green of Hurstpierpoint and currently a Minister for Trade and Investment. As a former Group Chairman of HSBC Holdings plc, his bank might have been, possibly, allegedly, perhaps maybe involved in creating the financial crisis now affecting the entire planet. What is certain is that HSBC under his control broke financial sanctions against Iran and other rogue states and was happy to launder money from Mexican and Columbian drug cartels as well as a number of unpleasant terrorist groups. As an ordained priest in the Church of England, the noble Lord Green has yet to offer any comment regarding the 1.9 billion dollar fine imposed on HSBC or if he is willing to officiate at a same sex wedding. Cheats, one would hope, never prosper.

A few eyebrows might be raised at the dramatic rehabilitation of former chief whip Andrew Mitchell, the colossal member for Sutton Coldfield. Bunging a few million quid to African tyrants might be part of the territory but swearing at the plod is bang out of order. The solution, however, is simple. Blame the plod and arrest anyone who suggests that a politician might be a liar. For those who are suffering from jaw dropping astonishment at the likelihood of Mitchell returning to a cabinet position, remember David Laws and reflect on the amount of time it is taking to have Chris Huhne`s case to be brought before the courts after being adjourned for undisclosed “legal reasons”. His alleged offence was committed more than nine years ago and he might be considering the insanity defence favoured by tyrants and cheaters from Luton South to Rwanda.

Closer to home, the fragrant saviour of education in Walsall, the divine Dame Mo Brennan was judged to have acted dishonestly when she and others altered school attendance records at Hillcrest School in Dudley. After being found guilty of “unacceptable professional conduct”, the noble Dame has been allowed to continue as Head of Barr Beacon School with her impeccable reputation intact. No less than Secretary of State for Education Michael Gove, himself found to have acted “unlawfully” by the High Court, has ruled out any disciplinary action against the lovely Dame Mo and her governors, in the shape of that paragon of virtue known and loved as Mike Bird, have offered their full support. The leader of Walsall council explained away the inconvenient misdemeanour by saying: “It was a case of the information being miscoded rather than dishonestly recorded”. Phew, that`s alright then. With education in Walsall at rock bottom after an inadequate judgement from Ofsted and the engagement of a director from another failed authority, a “super head” found guilty of fiddling and with some of the worst standards of achievement in the country it is good to know that cheats never prosper.

Presiding over the mess that is education in Walsall is Councillor Rachel Andrew who still remains in post and is still collecting her allowances. Her portfolio embraces children and young people who must be wondering what on earth they have done to deserve such contempt, neglect and derision.

When he returns from his three match ban, this simple parent would pay good money to watch Marouane Fellaini go head to head against Councillor Andrew and would hope that the ensuing fracas is interpreted as another example of miscoding rather than dishonesty.

Cheats, after all, never prosper.

1 Comment »

  1. Another brilliant and perceptive analysis.

    The fallacy that those who are paid by us are required to live by the same rules that govern us has been well and truly buried by the likes of David Law, Michael Gove, Mo Brennan and Santi Cazorla.

    The tradegy is that, Hippo apart, no-one seems to have noticed.

    The Realist

    Comment by The Realist — January 3, 2013 @ 1:16 pm | Reply

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