The Plastic Hippo

March 28, 2013

And the geek shall inherit the earth

Filed under: Birmingham,Media,Walsall,Wolverhampton — theplastichippo @ 2:02 am
Nick D`Aloisio image via

Nick D`Aloisio image via

Consider, if you will, the fortunes of a certain Nick D`Aloisio, a seventeen-year-old computer wizard who has recently become a multi-millionaire.

It seems that this Wunderkind at the age of 15 invented something called an “app” for something called a “smart phone”. Quite what an “app” is, I have no idea and recall with horror the last time I had to replace my mobile phone when some spotty adolescent tried to sell me a video camera, a music system, the launch codes for North Korean nuclear missiles and 24/7 access to Beyonce videos. Explaining that I required a telephone caused the slack-jawed youth some confusion and it was probably a mistake to produce a cheque book to pay for my eventual purchase as this left the awkward child nonplussed with incomprehension. He has probably been emotional scarred for life.

It is, of course, ridiculous to hark back to days of parchment, octopus ink and a stout quill from the back of a swan when communicating with people far, far away and scribbling “I`m on the stage coach…yeah…and it`s not moving” is simply nostalgia along with white dog turds, Pinkie and Perky and a National Health Service free and at the point of need. What the young Nick D`Aloisio has done is invent something that has frightened the very life out of vested interest and corporate greed. His “app”, whatever that is, summarises news stories for people without the skills required to read a newspaper and has been bought by Yahoo for what the BBC report as “dozens of millions” of pounds. It is comforting that the BBC continues to use imperial measurement rather than the immigrant metric system and is brave enough not to report the destruction of the NHS. Sadly, Mr D`Aloiso`s “app” will never see the light of day as Yahoo bought the rights in order for them to shut it down.

After Leveson and the shady deal behind a possible Royal Charter on press regulation, it would seem that internet giants have inherited all the failings of a dead and dying printed press in dealing with competition law. If intimidation, threats and bullying don`t work; then simple buy out any challenger to advertising revenue and bury new platforms and corporate heads in the sand. Young Nick D`Aloisio now works for Yahoo and, unlike most seventeen-year-olds, will be counting his millions and deciding which colour would be best for his new Lamborghini once he has passed his driving test. Michael Gove will no doubt claim credit for this young man`s astonishing success and encourage others to invent something that needs to be bought to keep it quiet.

In Walsall, in Dudley, in Wolverhampton, in Sandwell and in Birmingham, Coventry, Cannock, Lichfield, Solihull, Tamworth and Staffordshire we are blessed with a news service far superior to any “app”, whatever an “app” is.

It`s called TheYamYam.

1 Comment »

  1. I like smartphones, it’s just the fuckwits that use them I can’t stand !

    Comment by Keith Povall (@soxer99) — March 29, 2013 @ 10:37 am | Reply

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