The Plastic Hippo

May 4, 2013

Out, damned spot

Filed under: Literature,Media,Politics — theplastichippo @ 3:00 am
South Shields image via

South Shields image via

Imagine those poor lost souls still claiming to be Liberal Democrats waking up with the realisation that they were beaten into seventh place by an orange woman representing the BNP and calling herself Lady Dorothy Macbeth Brooke.

If losing their deposit was bad, losing to a racist with a fake tan must be the most spectacular act of retribution since Birnam Wood came to Dunsinane. A lost deposit in South Shields is nothing compared to lost principles, lost liberalism, lost manifesto promises and lost political credibility. On the night that Shirley Williams claimed on BBC Question Time that the Liberal Democrats had saved the NHS by voting with their Tory masters to privatise it, electorates across the country were voting for an “anti-establishment” one trick pony led by a public school stockbroker and followed by a host of white, male, middle-aged golf club Napoleons and dodgy double glazing salesmen. When Shirley and the others in the Gang of Four broke the mould of British politics, I would wager that she never imagined that it would end in the destruction of liberalism at the hands of little England xenophobes. We should congratulate UKIP for a 23 per cent share of the vote even if this is not sustainable. However, the greatest achievement in their 15 minutes of notoriety is the fact that they have seen off the spineless sacks of bat guano formally known as the Liberal Democrat Party. Nice one, Nigel.

If Clegg and his chums have lost the plot, then the BBC has lost its marbles. The blanket coverage given to Farage prior to the local elections can only be attributed to his photogenic good looks and his ability to inform, educate and entertain. With the once respected independent news source now regurgitating bogus government data as if it were reliable and expressing surprise that George Osborne`s incompetence is sending the economy down the toilet, perhaps imminent charter renewal is at the top of the BBC newsroom agenda. As the recently appointed head of news is a former Murdoch hack who fully supports any action that Israel takes and the Chair of the BBC Trust being a former Tory minister with financial interests in private health care companies, the decision not to report the death of the NHS and turn news and current affairs into the Farage Channel, Farage 24 and Farage plus one HD might indicate that, at last, the BBC is taking action against its obvious left wing bias.

Now that the results are in, the BBC has gone completely bonkers. Its increasingly shrill correspondents scream that politics has changed forever and that there is a new force about to influence the way that the nation is governed. Ignoring that Libdem MPs and councillors have about as much chance, barring miraculous resurrection, of being re-elected as Margaret Thatcher, the BBC and the rest of the right wing media are claiming that we now have four major political parties. It might be best to pause for some reflection and context.

These local election took place mid-term with an inept coalition government and an even more hopeless Labour opposition. The council polls took place in the English shire counties (and Anglesey) so fans of the Archers might consider which way the inhabitants of Ambridge would vote. Voting did not take place in the major conurbations, you know, where most people live or in Scotland, Northern Ireland or the rest of Wales. For all its expensive computer graphics, the BBC news attempts to extrapolate a general election result from Thursday`s vote is like comparing a Trident submarine to a shire horse. Both have their uses, but nobody is sure what use that might actually be anymore.

The media has put emphasis on the fact that UKIP has done rather well in Lincolnshire generally avoiding the fact that UKIP have no MPs and do not control any councils. Visitors to the lovely town of Boston might notice the unusually high numbers of migrant agricultural workers prepared to take low paid jobs that the locals are unwilling to do and may come away from that tolerant community with the faint sound of banjos being played on porches ringing in their ears. What has gone unreported is the fact that not one single Labour councillor has been ousted by UKIP even given the utter disaster that is Ed Miliband and, in future, if David Cameron has a problem with bins or potholes or council tax in his constituency, his first port of call will be to a newly elected Labour councillor. Imagine what could be achieved if this nation had a political opposition to the liars, cheats and crooks currently in government.

In Act One of the Scottish play, Banquo says:
“And often times, to win us to our harm,
The instruments of darkness tell us truths,
Win us with honest trifles, to betray`s
In deepest consequence.”

Orange BNP woman probably watches the Jeremy Kyle Show.


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