The Plastic Hippo

May 6, 2013

Triple whopper with lies

Filed under: Education,Health,Media,Politics,Rights,Society,Sport,Walsall,Wolverhampton — theplastichippo @ 1:02 am

Satisfaction guaranteed

Today is the third anniversary of the 2010 General Election and, like any normal three-year-old, the present coalition government has learnt to walk, talk and destroy things.

Quite a lot can be achieved in three years. You could, if so inclined, complete a university degree course and saddle yourself with debt and no hope of gainful employment. You could, with tenacity and stamina, produce three children and therefore enjoy a life of luxury by scrounging state benefits. Given an advantageous launch window and a suitable propulsion unit, you could journey in a space craft to Jupiter. You could train to be a nurse and save people`s lives only to find that your hospital is closing because a lying minister unqualified in health has decided that you are “uncaring”. You could become a teacher and educate three cohorts in Key Stage One or Key Stage Two only to be described by a lying minister unqualified in education as a Marxist for wishing to nurture children with a balanced curriculum. You could develop a serious disability or terminal illness in order to adopt a lifestyle choice of state benefit dependency only to be told by a lying minister unqualified as a human being that you are a feckless, workshy scrounger and will receive no support during the time it takes you to die.

Or you could become a merchant banker and spend three years amassing a huge personal fortune and instead of being punished for incompetence, greed and criminality, receive a whacking great bonus that would be enough to build a hospital.

In three years it would be theoretically possible for Walsall Football Club to play regular fixtures at Old Trafford, Stamford Bridge and Anfield as part of the top flight of English football. After all, Wolverhampton Wanderers managed to achieve the opposite in only two years. After 36 months, including the weeks of haggling to produce the coalition agreement that saw the Liberal Democrats absorbed forever into the Tory party, today`s anniversary is a good time to reflect on the government`s achievements…

…there. That didn`t take long, did it?
The failures are legion, too many to list on a Bank Holiday Monday, but central to all the disasters is the complete and utter mismanagement of the economy. Only a very sad person without a meaningful life would count the number of times a coalition talking head said “inherited deficit” or “inherited debt” or “the mess left by Labour” on any given day in the 1,096 days since this lot assumed power. Promising to cut deficit and debt by imposing austerity and launching vicious attacks on the poor and the vulnerable was the smoke screen used to keep the very rich happy and make everyone else suffer. But the smoke has cleared and the deficit is increasing, the debt is increasing and public borrowing, which we are told is the root cause of recession, has gone through the bloody roof.

But be of good cheer, George Osborne`s creation the Office for Budget Responsibility tell us that a single granny buying a pasty on a caravan holiday in the fourth financial quarter saved us from a triple dip recession and regardless of what the World Bank or the IMF say, we still have a triple A credit rating. When times are hard, it`s good to know we have such experts cooking the books. The very rich are even happier and it has become clear that our government is taking pleasure in making the rest of us suffer.

Now there are some observers that might suggest that a 36 per cent share of the vote with a 65 per cent turnout is hardly a mandate for ripping out the heart of a nation. Yet, after just three years, the Tory millionaire ministers and their Liberal Democrat power junkie lapdogs have torn up the very fabric of society and have made this nation, a nation of which I am rather fond, almost unrecognisable.

It seems cruelly ironic that on this public holiday when some of us return to our pagan roots with Morris dancing and maypoles and others celebrate International Workers` Day that we are witnesses to a vile government`s third birthday and a silent, inadequate opposition. With barking mad non-entities filling the political headlines, we have become a country with no hope and no glory.

Happy birthday coalition government, let`s hope it`s your last.


1 Comment »

  1. Only 3 years in?

    It feels like an eternity.

    The Realist

    Comment by The Realist — May 7, 2013 @ 9:48 am | Reply

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