Legal and proportionate

I`ll show you mine if you show me yours

If Aeschylus is correct and in war, the first casualty is truth, then the second and third casualties after a parliamentary vote on not going to war must surely be the Prime Minister and the Deputy Prime Minister; Cameron and Clegg have engineered a train wreck of monumental proportions.

There are very few occasions when precise, surgical and punitive air strikes are successful in removing cruel, unelected despotic dictators. That, however, should not discourage President Bashar al-Assad of Syria in targeting Downing Street, Chequers and the safe houses used by Australian spin doctors. The oppressed people of Britain can now only live in hope of external intervention to halt a wicked, dogmatic and ultimately incompetent regime.

The coalition`s gung-ho desire to lob open petrol cans into an already toxic bonfire needs to be viewed with deep suspicion and the petulant foot stamping at not being allowed to unleash Tomahawk cruise missiles into a brutal civil war suggests that Cameron and his chums should lay off the Viagra for a bit. The Prime Minister said that he was unable to offer “certainty” but he was able to offer a “judgement” on who is poisoning Syrian civilians. This “judgement” is from a man who promised that the NHS is “safe in his hands” and would never endure a top-down reorganisation or “asset stripping” as ministers with directorships of private health companies would never publicly admit. Actual evidence and this coalition are destined to remain complete strangers as long as liars and fraudsters remain at the heart of a government prepared to wage war on badgers without scientific proof. The monthly fiction of falling unemployment, decreasing debt and rocketing growth combined with the compulsory BBC daily story slagging off the NHS cannot disguise a failing economy and impending electoral disaster. When everything is turning to guano, it is time to try to start or join another war.

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Incommunicado

Image via iteach.org

It was the great 18th century philosopher George Berkeley who first asked if sound is produced when a tree falls in a remote forest far away from any possible witnesses. Sadly, the founding father of subjective idealism and stalwart of Empiricism was not quite smart enough to answer his own question.

You might imagine that an entire week without a newspaper, any news broadcasts or access to the internet thingy would have an addicted information junkie huddled in a corner hugging knees and manically rocking convulsed with cold turkey. Strangely, the opposite was the case and Bishop Berkeley`s falling tree crashed without a sound much less any cry of “timber”. I didn`t hear it…I didn`t see it…it never happened. Ignorance, as they say, is bliss.

All quiet on the Aldridge front

If a week, or more precisely five working days, is a long time in local politics then nine weeks, or more precisely 45 working days, must be an eternity.

As the good people of Aldridge Central and South queue for hours under a blistering sun to cast their ballots in a by election to elect a new representative, it has been nine weeks since they were promised a public meeting and consultation regarding the future of the Manor House Youth Centre. It would be pedantic to point out that the decision to close the youth facility and flog the site off to some mysterious developer was taken ages ago by a cabinet bereft of any notion of civic responsibility. No amount of flannel and talk of consultation will alter the current status of the borough arsonist who is well and truly on standby to solve the problem once and for all. Silence on issues that affect communities is not unusual for a cabinet that scream from the rooftops how hard they work, how well they are doing and how they deserve to pocket increased allowances as the rest of us suffer but this time they have a legitimate excuse for ignoring the public that they are supposed to serve.

Victim of electricity

Shocking

Silence in a radio test match commentary is not unusual, but five minutes without the wit and wisdom of Geoffrey Boycott and the increasingly bonkers Henry Blofeld tends to ring alarm bells during what turned out to be a rather marvellous game of cricket.

Stuart Broad ripping through the Australian middle order after tea would normally elicit all manner of bon mots from the professional Yorkshireman and the old Etonian but on this occasion both were uncharacteristically silent. The strangeness continued when an attempt to boil the kettle for a cup of tea proved futile. At last, the gradual realisation dawned in my slow-witted brain that something was wrong with the holes in the wall that provide the magic that makes stuff work. The apocalypse had arrived, there was no electricity.

Bully for you

Flashman

Credit where credit is due: David Cameron is correct to advise parents to boycott vile organisations who refuse to step up to the plate and take responsibility for bullying. We can start by boycotting the Department for Education.

Cameron`s flawed logic and indignant “something must be done” outrage once again proves that either he and the people that advise him have no idea how the internet works or, more cynically, descend like vultures on yet another truly horrific tragedy to demand that social media must be “controlled”. Cameron said: “If you incite someone to do harm, if you incite violence; that is breaking the law, whether that is online or offline”. So, we can assume that Michael Gove`s Ofsted storm troopers will stop bullying Teachers and Governing Bodies and concentrate on arresting the kids in the playground that are hurting other children. If internet providers are responsible for online bullying, then Teachers and ultimately Michael Gove are responsible for offline bullying. Therefore, according to Cameron, all schools should be closed.