The Plastic Hippo

August 30, 2013

Legal and proportionate

Filed under: History,Law,Media,Politics,World — theplastichippo @ 2:40 am
I`ll show you mine if you show me yours

I`ll show you mine if you show me yours

If Aeschylus is correct and in war, the first casualty is truth, then the second and third casualties after a parliamentary vote on not going to war must surely be the Prime Minister and the Deputy Prime Minister; Cameron and Clegg have engineered a train wreck of monumental proportions.

There are very few occasions when precise, surgical and punitive air strikes are successful in removing cruel, unelected despotic dictators. That, however, should not discourage President Bashar al-Assad of Syria in targeting Downing Street, Chequers and the safe houses used by Australian spin doctors. The oppressed people of Britain can now only live in hope of external intervention to halt a wicked, dogmatic and ultimately incompetent regime.

The coalition`s gung-ho desire to lob open petrol cans into an already toxic bonfire needs to be viewed with deep suspicion and the petulant foot stamping at not being allowed to unleash Tomahawk cruise missiles into a brutal civil war suggests that Cameron and his chums should lay off the Viagra for a bit. The Prime Minister said that he was unable to offer “certainty” but he was able to offer a “judgement” on who is poisoning Syrian civilians. This “judgement” is from a man who promised that the NHS is “safe in his hands” and would never endure a top-down reorganisation or “asset stripping” as ministers with directorships of private health companies would never publicly admit. Actual evidence and this coalition are destined to remain complete strangers as long as liars and fraudsters remain at the heart of a government prepared to wage war on badgers without scientific proof. The monthly fiction of falling unemployment, decreasing debt and rocketing growth combined with the compulsory BBC daily story slagging off the NHS cannot disguise a failing economy and impending electoral disaster. When everything is turning to guano, it is time to try to start or join another war.

The government promised clarification on the legality of becoming embroiled in the madness but the Joint Intelligence Committee only offered their conclusions rather than any actual international statutes that the decision to launch would be based on. Any evidence of crimes against humanity remains secret but Defence Secretary Philip Hammond said “everyone knows” Assad did it because he saw some videos on Youtube so it must be true. One wonders if Mr Hammond also enjoyed the Youtube footage of Syrian rebels, or Al-Qaeda as ministers would never publicly admit, executing the children of Assad supporters or cutting out the heart of an enemy and taking an unhealthy bite out of the still warm vital organ. Hammond later blamed Tony Blair for the government defeat and suggested that Saddam Hussein was in charge of Syria. With parliament recalled by twitter and war declared based on “intelligence” gleaned from a platform graced by gangnam style and Miley Cyrus, the world is a much more dangerous place.

Barak Obama, like Tony Blair before him, has proved to be something of a disappointment and it seems Ed Miliband is earmarked for the same ignominy. On the day that Obama celebrated Dr Martin Luther King, the fifth and sixth US Navy fleets with two carrier battle groups were deploying in the Gulf and in the Eastern Mediterranean. Clearly Obama has to walk a thin tightrope to avoid upsetting the small group of obscenely wealthy white men who rule America and so avoid his official engagement diary being suddenly filled with unscheduled Sunday afternoon drive-bys passed book depositories in Dallas. Tony Blair, however, after the sexed-up dodgy dossier of ten years ago and the unfortunate end of Dr David Kelly, should think twice before opening his duplicitous gob to call for more carnage. But what is this? No…surely not…Ed Miliband has finally read his job description, grown a pair and actually questioned the government`s credibility. What is even more astonishing is that he managed to bring this country back from the brink of military action that was based on conjecture rather than proof.

The Leader of the Opposition, as ever hedging his bets by not ruling out armed intervention in Syria, teased Cameron and his bullet-headed light calibre sabre rattlers into a massive elephant trap by ensuring a second vote delayed until UN weapons inspectors can come up with some actual facts. If government incompetence couple with disturbing arrogance is breathtaking, their response to being found out making stuff up is asphyxiating. An anonymous special advisors or possibly a cabinet minister told The Times that Miliband was a “copper-bottomed s**t” and described him as a “f***ing c**t” for spoiling their plans to launch phallic symbols at foreigners from somewhere safely out of range of immediate retaliation. If this is how Downing Street conducts domestic politics, one shudders to think how Cameron would have conducted a shooting war. As the day wore on, The Thick of It language was toned down to suggest that Miliband was “giving succour” to the Assad regime. New Labour cannot complain about this assertion because it was Tony Blair who specialised in “good guy – bad guy, black and white if you don`t agree with me you are a terrorist” rhetoric. Cameron and his gang have perfected this playground sophistry to the point that anyone who is uncomfortable with censorship of the internet is obviously a child molester and anyone who questions an absurd opinion must be an evil internet troll intent on attaching explosives to the private parts of elderly female historians. The government should really do something about anonymous spads and ministers poisoning the well of public opinion.

For all the fine words spoken about protecting the Syrian people from an evil dictator who once worked as an ophthalmologist in a London hospital, the debate was about the credibility of an unelected Prime Minister who has never had a job outside of the Conservative Party. When a wealthy, privileged member of an Alawite minority locks horns with a wealthy, privileged member of an Etonian minority, it is the majority that will suffer and not just due to the temporary suspension of valuable trade agreements. For all the tub thumping and shallow platitudes regarding the deaths of children, Britain still has licence agreements to sell armaments to Syria, Israel, the military junta in Egypt, Palestine, the House of Saud, Libya, Bahrain, Myanmar, Sri Lanka and a host of other rogue states. Not a single MP, journalist or commentator has asked where Assad is getting his weapons from. If Cameron is so outraged that weapons designed to indiscriminately kill civilians are being used, why are we still manufacturing them and why are we keen to sell them to oppressive regimes?

If Cameron and his cronies are so concerned over the plight of the Syrian people, perhaps he should offer refugees sanctuary here in the UK. No…hang on…that won`t work. Hospitals, schools and social care would not be able to cope with such an influx because we simply do not have the money to keep them going. It is probably best to concentrate our resources on American Tomahawk missiles and, of course, a replacement for Trident.

On reflection, there is no need for Assad to order a surgical strike on Downing Street. Cameron and the ridiculous Clegg have sealed their own fates. As for Miliband…oh God.

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