The Plastic Hippo

September 3, 2013

A political thesaurus

Filed under: Literature,Politics — theplastichippo @ 1:43 am
Roar, bellow, scream, yell, howl

Roar, bellow, scream, yell, howl

Given the rich complexity of the English language, as it develops and evolves to reflect the character of its speakers, it is difficult to have sympathy of those who mourn the passing of the correct spoken usage of words like “bad” and “wicked”. Remembering the words invented by Shakespeare that still remain in common speech, the really big difficulty is keeping up with a living language that is changing organically.

Having only recently mastered the use of “wicked” as meaning excellent and the use of “bad” as the complete opposite, young people tell me that these terms are now obsolete with the user becoming the object of derision. Those that cleave to the purity of English must despair as they hear it cleaved asunder by modern idiom. However, the English language has not popped its clogs, kicked the bucket and is not pushing up the daisies. Instead it is fit as a fiddle, the bee`s knees; as right as rain. Okay, we now need to shout “squee” rather that huzzah and the more energetic might be “twerking” instead of jitterbugging but what was once a heads up is now “buzzworthy” according to Oxford Dictionaries Online. With dictionaries now listing the word “omnishambles”, perhaps we should take a further look at what our erudite and verbose political masters are actually saying.

Alleged = Invented

Budget responsibility = Profiteering

Consultation = Shut up

Deferred growth = Ruin

Economic stability = Ruin

Fairness = Profiteering

Generational worklessness = the Aristocracy

Housing policy = Profiteering

Iraq = Syria

Judicial review = Cover up

Key partners = Oppressive dictators

Lifestyle choice = Enforced abject poverty

Mandate = an ashtray on a motorbike

Nominal evidence base = Lies

Office of Budget Responsibility = a coalition of Hans Christian Andersen and the Brothers Grimm.

Predictive outcome indicators = Lies

Quantitative Easing = Ruin

Rationalisation = Cuts to vital public services

Syria = Iraq

Terrorist = Floating voter

Unilateral = Illegal

Vital public services = Money tree

Weapons of Mass Destruction = Toothpaste

Xenophobia = Xenophobia

Young people = Terrorists

Zero Hours Contract = Slavery

The list is only a snap shot taster mash-up run up the flagpole going forward at the overarching end of the day, innit? Colleagues and stakeholders are empowered to make their own holistic contributions to facilitate best practice in a fluid and proactive data set.

Your mum is like well fit and your dad is hench.

1 Comment »

  1. Reblogged this on Sociology + Social Policy = Sociopolocy and commented:
    Gotta love how TPH updates us so succinctly with the changes in Life(tm). 😉

    Comment by 7rin — September 3, 2013 @ 1:57 am | Reply

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