The Plastic Hippo

November 6, 2013

In appreciation of Grant Shapps

Filed under: Law,Media,Politics,Society — theplastichippo @ 12:14 am
Tags: , ,
Image via the Mainly Fail

Image via the Mainly Fail

With the utmost sincerity, I would like to publicly thank the Right Honourable Grant V Shapps MP, Conservative Party Chairman and the member for Welwyn Hatfield.

As a consummate politician, polymath and all-round Renaissance man, Mr Shapps might be a minister without portfolio but he does possess an impressive portfolio of business interests outside parliament and a cunning array of associated personas. It would be a display of breath taking hypocrisy for an anonymous blogger to criticise a senior public servant for concealing his or her identity for financial gain but there is a subtle difference between anonymity and impersonation which, in law, can be crucial. Pretending to be a polypropylene river horse does not exempt a blogger from legislation regarding defamation, slander, libel and incitement to violence or hatred. Pretending to be a “real” person can result in more complex litigation.

As “Michael Green”, Mr Shapps set up an online company called How to Corp. Apart from attempting to sell ten dollar second-hand books for the give-away price of 30 dollars despite the tome being freely available on the internet, Michael also offered some interesting software designed to make money for people who are not prepared to do any work. Now I have no idea how this stuff works but the software seems to “spin and scrape” content from other websites to boost advertising revenue and move the greedy, lazy bastards who bought into the scam up the rankings in search engines. I really am at a loss to understand all of this but it might explain why this and other blogs attract comments from corporate entities that are complete gobbledygook and are mercifully identified as pork based processed meat product celebrated by Monty Python Vikings. Plagiarism is difficult to define in law as the usual defence is to claim “homage” to the original piece. Fraudulent theft of intellectual property is, however, another matter. I take an inordinate amount of pleasure clicking the “delete permanently” button.

As Housing Minister and as Grant Shapps, Grant Shapps built less social housing in the entire history of social housing but managed to “follow” 450 people every day on Twitter and then “unfollowed” them if they didn`t “follow” him back. I understand that this is called SEO and may have been undertaken by a robot but I remain clueless as to what that actually means. More recently, Shapps has fired a warning shot across the bows of the BBC to ensure compliance with the Tory party line as an election approaches the event horizon and more incidents of cabinet unlawful activity are revealed. Without any sense of irony, he threatened the Beeb with privatisation because, he claims, the corporation is less than “transparent” in its business activities.

As well as Michael Green, we have Sebastian Fox, Corinne Stockheath of Surrey and a number of other people who might or might not be real or might be a figment of the entrepreneurial imagination of the Chairman of the Conservative Party. It does not require the expertise of the NSA or GCHQ to confirm that using the name Michael Green was “a joke” and that any doubt cast over the legitimacy of Mr Shapps is obviously a “political smear”. Anyway, it was all a long time ago and the company, which is still trading, has been signed over to his fragrant wife Belinda. Comments on a blog from “real” people as well as scam companies, however, arrive with an email address and a unique IP address and five minutes on a search engine can usually confirm if the contributor is genuine, bogus or an innocent person being impersonated. “Hannah” and “Juliet” might like to reflect upon the robustness of their online security as any future embarrassing revelations might not so easily be dismissed as being “a joke” or a “political smear”.

Ignoring the annoyance of gobbledygook in the in box, I am incredibly grateful to Grant Shapps for boosting traffic to my blog since the tenacious Michael Crick of Channel 4 door-stepped the joker last Friday. It is a thing of sublime beauty that innocent folks entering the search term “How to corp”, were directed to a post I published more than a year ago. This resulted in a spike in traffic without the need to purchase his fraudulent software. Thank you so much, Grant, or Michael, or Sebastian.

The rest of us also owe a debt of gratitude to Mr Shapps for personifying all the qualities that binds the Conservative Party together. Avarice, deception, duplicity, denial, blatant flouting of the law, bigoted hatred, arrogance and obsessive self-interest lie at the cold heart of this corrupt coalition. The Prime Minister was recently ticked off by Mr Speaker for the use of “un-parliamentary” language in describing the Leader of the Opposition as a “con man”. Cameron, for all his faults and failings, certainly knows a con man when he sees one.

In September 2012 he appointed the Right Honourable Grant V Shapps as Chairman of the Conservative Party.

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