The Plastic Hippo

November 20, 2013

Feel the Noize

Filed under: Health,Music,Politics,Walsall — theplastichippo @ 1:00 pm
Tags: , , ,
Screen grab via YouTube

Screen grab via YouTube

Parody can all too often be a blunt instrument when attempting to employ what passes for a sense of humour in a world ruled by an elite required to undergo a sense of humour by-pass.

The original premise of the Downfall Parody clips posted to YouTube was very clever, nicely crafted and rather funny. However, the endless repetition of the same joke adapted for football clubs, pop songs and the internet itself resulted in the genre eating itself with a Downfall Parody rant ranting about Downfall Parody rants. It stopped being funny but still has some millage. The actor selected to portray Joseph Goebbels, who stands in sinister silence behind Hitler, bears a striking resemblance to the Heath Secretary, a certain Jeremy Hunt.

There is not enough parody left in the world to direct at Jeremy Hunt. Hyperbole, sarcasm, analogy, ironic juxtaposition, metaphor, derision and cynical mockery will fly way above the head of this freeloading shyster. The first thing his predecessor did at the Department of Health, the equally odious Andrew Lansley, was to remove any responsibility for the NHS from the burden of the office of Secretary of State for Health. Hunt, after demanding £2billion back from the NHS budget, sacking nurses, closing A and E departments and entire hospitals, now claims the NHS is failing. To flog off the best health provider on the planet to his predatory vulture chums, Hunt ensures that his media mates run stories of demented doctors, manic nurses, thieving support staff and satanic practices at the triage station. Patients drinking from flower vases never took place and like everything else that spews from the mouth of this parasite, it is a great, big lie. His latest insult is to propose a new criminal offence of “wilful neglect” but this already exists and the only change is that he and his co-defendants are now above the law. All of you ministers with financial interests in private health companies; leave the room now.

Iain Duncan Smith and his underlings stand in parliament and tell blatant lies which go shamefully unchallenged by an opposition that has forgotten the meaning of socialism. Michael Gove appears to be as corrupt and completely insane in equal measure and Boris Johnston, that great champion of urban cycling, reacts to the terrifying increase in cycling deaths by blaming the dead and ordering a “crackdown” on, you guessed it, cyclists. A single obscenely wealthy tax exile threatens to close a petro-chemical plant, a town, a region and a nation and the government “crackdown” on the Trade Union legitimately protesting against greedy blackmail. If comedy is dead, this dreadful government is now beyond parody.

Fortunately, here in picturesque Walsall, we still have the hilarious pantomime produced regularly in the Council House bunker performed by the comic cast of a full council meeting. Once the serious bits about Over Bedroom Occupancy Spare Subsidy Tax were ignored and all that irrelevant stuff about serious planning maladministration (“Where`s Councillor Q?” – “He`s not behind you, he`s in front of you”) was safely out of the way, the clowns were able to do what they do best. Admittedly, attempting to hit political opponents over the head with a pig`s bladder attached to a stick might not be subtle, but it`s bloody funny and there is a lot to be said for low comedy.

It seems our elected representatives took an inordinate amount of time in defining which political grouping other elected members represented. Sadly missing in all this pig bladdering, few elected members actually remembered the people in the wards that they were elected to represent. Such is the nature of local government politics that vacuous tribal point scoring is a guarantee of comedy gold. If only the farcical slapstick could be live streamed, as happens in other more sophisticated local authorities, then the electorate could enjoy toe-curling embarrassment far in excess of any reality TV show or any interview involving Russell Brand.

The highlight of a fun packed agenda designed to bring the council into disrepute was a discussion on the merits of a certain Mr Neville Holder and the enormous benefits he has brought to the town of Walsall. Tourists are apparently flocking in droves to the house on the Beechdale estate where he once resided and his poetic output should be on the literacy curriculum. Like his illustrious predecessor, Jerome K Jerome, Noddy Holder left town as soon as he could afford the bus fare and so deserves the freedom of the borough and the right to graze his livestock on council land. He might, however, prefer to paddock his horses at his home in Cheshire because they are likely to be shot if he turns them out in Goscote and only a few nags can fit into the lift at the New Art Gallery.

Rather than conferring freedom of the borough, perhaps councillors should offer Mr Holder the role of elected mayor. It would cost less than a £17K ceremony and he already has his own limo. More importantly, anonymous bloggers would be spared from imagining Mike Bird, Tim Oliver and Ian Shires Downfall Parodies and more importantly still, a meeting of the full council would be even more entertaining with Noddy Holder as the front man leading the political bum waving.

Perhaps councillor Towe could join Dave Hill in forming a Shadows tribute band. Here is an example of how our new freeman would represent Walsall to the world:

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