The Plastic Hippo

November 9, 2013

My Maserati does 185

Filed under: Literature,Politics,Transport,Walsall — theplastichippo @ 8:18 pm
Tags: ,
Image via comedyclowncar.co.uk

Image via comedyclowncar.co.uk

When young drivers and some older people who should know better, spend inordinate amounts of time, effort and money in turning their wheels into a statement, it seems unduly cruel to point out that the statement they are making is: “look at me, I`m a prat.”

False eyelashes on headlights, butterfly decals on a two-door hot-hatch and a parcel shelf full of teddy bears obscuring the rear-view mirror is, I`m afraid, in no way amusing or endearing. I recall observing the son of gullible neighbours spend a week or two “pimping his ride” as the urban cognoscenti would have it. Week one involved installing a sound system into the boot of a car that was considerably smaller than the bass bin being fitted. Rather than modify the four by twelve speaker, the nascent Jeremy Clarkson took an angle-grinder to the body work of an impressive Fiat Punto thus rendering his very expensive insurance premium null and void. His choice of a Drum and Bass CD to test the sound system had pigeons falling dead from the sky and disrupted the turn to final approach into Birmingham International Airport by a Boeing 777 inbound from Dubai. (more…)

November 6, 2013

In appreciation of Grant Shapps

Filed under: Law,Media,Politics,Society — theplastichippo @ 12:14 am
Tags: , ,
Image via the Mainly Fail

Image via the Mainly Fail

With the utmost sincerity, I would like to publicly thank the Right Honourable Grant V Shapps MP, Conservative Party Chairman and the member for Welwyn Hatfield.

As a consummate politician, polymath and all-round Renaissance man, Mr Shapps might be a minister without portfolio but he does possess an impressive portfolio of business interests outside parliament and a cunning array of associated personas. It would be a display of breath taking hypocrisy for an anonymous blogger to criticise a senior public servant for concealing his or her identity for financial gain but there is a subtle difference between anonymity and impersonation which, in law, can be crucial. Pretending to be a polypropylene river horse does not exempt a blogger from legislation regarding defamation, slander, libel and incitement to violence or hatred. Pretending to be a “real” person can result in more complex litigation. (more…)

November 3, 2013

Day of the dead

Filed under: Environment,Politics,Rights,Society,World — theplastichippo @ 4:58 am
Dia de muerto

Dia de muerto

As Hallowmas concludes for another year and with extorting candy with menaces completely replacing traditional apple bobbing, it is perhaps time to welcome another celebration imported from the Americas.

Anyone with even a passing understanding of the Aztec deity Mictecacihuatl and the synthesis of pre-Colombian ritual and Catholic worship will know that the day of the dead is not just about marigolds and sugar skulls. All soul`s day involves food and music and dancing and laughter to encourage the souls of the dearly departed to join us for a single day back on earth. Rather than trick or treat or tooth decay, obesity and encouraging children to demand sweets from strangers, perhaps we should sing and dance to encourage the return of entities that we once held dear. (more…)

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