The Plastic Hippo

February 8, 2014

Wee timorous beastie

Filed under: History,Politics — theplastichippo @ 11:34 pm
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Wild haggis image via

Wild haggis image via

Dislike him or simply loath him, David Cameron`s ability to say one thing and mean the exact opposite marks him as a consistently transparent and consummately deceptive Prime Minister.

His recent woeful pronouncement on the Scottish independence referendum is the latest in a long line of deliberately duplicitous statements that go back to days before he assumed power. Remember how his manifesto promised that there would be “no more top down reorganisation of the NHS” and how that most precious and vital public service was “safe” in his hands? That election pledge along with promising to keep EMA, no in increase VAT and so many other works of fiction are now safely shredded and deleted from the Conservative Party web site, history and any semblance of honesty. How we laughed when he said that we are all in it together and how grateful we are when he tells us that debt, deficit and borrowing are reduced even though the facts indicate the opposite.

With his latest foray into the realms of deception, the Great chieftain o` the pudding-race, Cameron of Clan Cameron has descended into Dr Johnson`s last refuge of a scoundrel by evoking embarrassingly false patriotism regarding Scottish independence. Incidentally, Dr Johnson made his remark in 1775 a few months after the British parliament declared that the Massachusetts colonies were in rebellion thus starting the American Revolution. Thank goodness we now have referenda and thank goodness Alex Salmond isn`t very handy with a claymore or a musket. Prior to Cameron`s speech in London, the yes campaign seemed unlikely to trouble returning officers north of the border and given Dave`s long track record of telling massive lies, we have to question his motives in giving such a toe-curling, knuckle-biting speech especially as his only experience of “real” work was in PR (obviously that`s public relations not proportional representation). The answer is as simple as George Osborne. Cameron, for all his hollow patriotism, would dance a highland reel to see the back of Scotland.

With twice as many Giant Pandas in Scotland as there are Tory MPs, the referendum in September is a straight fight between Labour and the SNP and if the yes campaign prevails, millions of Labour voters will not be returning MPs to Westminster in 2015 resulting in a Conservative majority. Add to this the possibility of an overnight reduction in unemployment, child poverty, ill-health, social deprivation and costly responsibility for ungrateful citizens and we are looking at a masterstroke of ethnic cleansing without a shot being fired. Little wonder the Bank of England has offered to write-off any national debt liability if an independent Scotland becomes a reality. What Dave says and what Dave does is not necessarily the same thing and perhaps he will re-instate the missing third verse of the national anthem concerning crushing rebellious Scots once independence is achieved.

He might well be the most hopeless Prime Minister this nation has had to endure but you have to admit he is remarkably audacious when telling lies. After praising Emeli Sande, who was born in Sunderland, and Scotch Whiskey, he said:
“In this country, we don`t walk on by when people are sick, when people lose work, when people get old. When you talk about an Englishman, a Welshman, a Scotsman, a Northern Irishman it might sound like the beginning of a bad joke but here it`s how we started our NHS, our welfare system, our pension system. And these values aren`t trapped in the pages of a history book – they are alive.”
Erm…no they`re not Dave, they`re dead and it`s you that killed them. We have to admire this shysters` ability to keep a straight face when reading this stuff from the autocue.

Scotland as a nation again is a noble if romantic vision but, in practical terms, would be a disaster. However, I intend to take David Cameron`s advice and “get on the phone, get together, email, tweet and speak” to my Scottish friends and urge them to vote in the referendum. Being English, they will listen to me because I am superior if Cameron is to be believed. My advice to those Scottish friends; wanted or not, would be to stay with us, grasp the thistle and help us get rid of this corrupt elite ruling us from Westminster.

If the wee timorous beastie in the form of Alex Salmond is the alternative, I will not be climbing over Hadrian`s Wall to join you.


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