The Plastic Hippo

March 7, 2014

Pity the poor immigrant

A flood, a torrent, a tidal wave

A flood, a torrent, a tidal wave

Returning from a recent trip abroad, I was shocked and stunned at the numbers of Bulgarian and Romanian economic migrants, health tourists, potential benefit scroungers and other foreign looking ne`er-do-wells thronging the arrivals terminal.

Given all the dire warnings of an influx of criminal gang masters, I was outraged to find not a single one of them coming over here and stealing our jobs. It would seem that they are coming tomorrow, or next week, or next month or possibly on the day before an election. That very smartly dressed young man being met by officials from a local Premier League football club doesn`t count because it was 12 hours prior to the close of the transfer window and it`s absolutely wonderful when they come over here scoring our goals. There is something charmingly comic when football fans scream racist abuse when an opposing overseas player clogs lumps out of one of their own overseas players or when the overseas manager fails to come up with the end of season silverware.

Similar tribal barking can be heard on the green terraces of the House of Commons but this mindless chanting is less funny because the hooligans hurling abuse are frighteningly empowered to make laws and govern. It is an indication of the insecurity of the coalition government that sees them reacting to an agenda set by a rather odd group of little Englanders who were clearly at the front of the queue when the stupid pills were being given out. In a tortoise and hare race to see who can be the most xenophobic in attracting votes from gullible people, the coalition government including creatures who still describe themselves as “liberal” are happy to fire pot-shots at easy targets.

We have illegal and racist billboards funded by the Home Office, an immigration minister forced to resign for employing an illegal immigrant, suppressed reports that show immigration to be beneficial to the economy and the UK Border Agency putting anyone who isn`t white up against the wall in London Underground ticket halls. The coalition is dancing to the tune of bigots who believe that flooding is the result of same sex marriage and women do not belong in the workplace if they are of child bearing age. Embedded somewhere in the strangely familiar Immigration Bill is a proposal to take away the passport of any foreign-born British national found guilty of certain crimes, deport them back to territory of origin and so render the wrongdoer stateless. As with all legislation, “unintentional consequence” offers the prospect of hilarious scenarios.

Consider Tory MP for Cannock, Aidan Burley. Deciding not to contest the next general election in order to spend more time with his uniforms, the French legal systems might just wish to extradite him to answer possible charges of aiding and abetting a celebration of the Third Reich. If convicted in this fantasy, Mr Burley could find himself on an aircraft taking him back to his native Auckland New Zealand without a passport. If the King of the Maori people is not keen on meeting an heir to the Hanoverian British throne, what will His Royal Highness King Tuheitia make of the opponent of “multi-cultural crap”?

Then there is the member for Stratford-on-Avon who erroneously claimed expenses to keep his horses warm in their stable. One can only imagine the reception that Nadhim Zahawi would receive upon his forced return to his native Baghdad.

Lord Commissioner of HM Treasury and MP for Braintree, Brooks Newmark hails from Westport, Connecticut and before becoming an MP was a Vice President at Shearson Lehman Brothers and a partner in various international private equity firms. You must remember Lehman Brothers?

MP for Esher and Walton, Dominic Raab was actually born in the UK and so is perfectly qualified to present an amendment to the Immigration Bill that demanded that the European Court of Human Rights be ignored when “felons and immigrants” needed to be deported. His amendment was defeated which must make his dad really proud. His dad fled to Britain as a refugee to escape persecution of Jews in Czechoslovakia in 1938.

The Mayor of London, currently putting the lives of Londoners at risk by closing fire stations, is also an immigrant. Boris Johnson is a native New Yorker and is also closing London Underground ticket halls not to prevent the UKBA harassing people but to put people out of work. The last time I looked, New York City is a long way from Hammersmith and even further away from Hackney.

The Governor of the Bank of England is Canadian, the Chairman of British Petroleum is Swedish, the CEO of Lloyds Bank is Portuguese, the CEO of the parent company that controls British Airways is Irish and Eric Pickles comes from Keighley in West Yorkshire.

The senior policy maker to the Conservative Party is Lynton Crosby who is Australian as is the self appointed judge and jury at the Independent Police Complaints Commission as was the owner of a huge chunk of British media before Rupert decided it was more profitable to be a US citizen. Immigrants eh? You just cannot trust them.

Should Scotland vote for independence and the crimes against humanity committed by Iain Duncan Smith and Michael Gove finally come before a court, there is a possibility that both felons will be deported back to Edinburgh to be detained at the pleasure of the next King of Scotland at Barlinnie prison. We can but hope.

The message cannot be clearer. If you are rich and greedy and prepared to donate money or “gifts in kind” to the Conservative Party then you are most welcome. If you are poor and willing to work hard for very low pay then you are thieving foreign scum and you should go back to where you came from. As for that very smartly dressed young man at the airport being met by officials from a local Premier League football club, it would seem that the transfer negotiations were unsuccessful and he has probably moved on to earn a living elsewhere. Perhaps he and his fellow immigrants have decided not to come to a country that continues to descend into mindless bigotry. It might be that they have no wish to be associated with a nation of immigrants that have been brainwashed into hating more recent immigrants. When a young man dies because he is black and the police target his family because they are black and when a vulnerable man has support removed and actually starves to death in the constituency of the Prime Minister, this country is about as attractive as an evening out during Kristallnacht.

History, as they say, has a history of repeating itself.

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