The Plastic Hippo

March 9, 2014

Educating Archie

Filed under: Politics,Wolverhampton — theplastichippo @ 9:15 pm
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The notion of featuring a ventriloquist act on a radio show might at first seem preposterous but producers at the BBC way back in the 1950s realised that comedy works because of content rather than presentation.

In these dark days of wars and rumours of wars, thank goodness we have entertainers still offering some light relief from the gloom and doom with their jolly japes and funny stories. This week we have been treated with the Prime Minister`s hilarious phone skit exposed on social media and Lord Biro of the Bus Pass Elvis Party beating the Liberal Democrats in a local authority by election. If deciding to put a ventriloquist act on the radio wasn`t funny enough, this week we also had perhaps the most amusing comic caper of all involving the antics of the MP for Wolverhampton South West on some dreadful local radio show.

Proving himself to be just as funny as Peter Brough and Archie Andrews, Paul Uppal MP had his audience in stitches with his faux outrage routine slamming the reckless spending and financial incompetence of Wolverhampton council. Stopping just short of foaming at the mouth and drinking a glass of water as he spoke, Mr Uppal raged at the council for (more…)

March 7, 2014

Pity the poor immigrant

A flood, a torrent, a tidal wave

A flood, a torrent, a tidal wave

Returning from a recent trip abroad, I was shocked and stunned at the numbers of Bulgarian and Romanian economic migrants, health tourists, potential benefit scroungers and other foreign looking ne`er-do-wells thronging the arrivals terminal.

Given all the dire warnings of an influx of criminal gang masters, I was outraged to find not a single one of them coming over here and stealing our jobs. It would seem that they are coming tomorrow, or next week, or next month or possibly on the day before an election. That very smartly dressed young man being met by officials from a local Premier League football club doesn`t count because it was 12 hours prior to the close of the transfer window and it`s absolutely wonderful when they come over here scoring our goals. There is something charmingly comic when football fans scream racist abuse when an opposing overseas player clogs lumps out of one of their own overseas players or when the overseas manager fails to come up with the end of season silverware. (more…)

March 3, 2014

Fall from grace



There can be few things sadder than seeing formerly dignified and noble institutions descend into squalid decay or once respected and decent individuals fall from greatness into the gutter of ruined reputation.

First among equals in the downward spiral towards derelict oblivion seems to be parliamentary democracy. According to our government, doctors, nurses, support staff and ambulance crews wilfully neglect their duty and are deliberately harming every single NHS patient. By this bizarre logic, the NHS is evil and has to be dismantled. Teachers and their sinister assistants have blighted the lives of children and ruined state education. State education, therefore, is failing and needs to be put out of its misery. What passes for government thinking might also conclude that every police officer constantly tells lies about cabinet ministers, fire fighters start fires, badgers cause floods and fracking will cure cancer. The welfare state, constructed in the aftermath of war and a litmus test of just how compassionate and civilised a nation is, is dead. The illness was mercifully short. It has been less than (more…)

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