The Plastic Hippo

April 24, 2014

As good as a rest

Filed under: Media,Society — theplastichippo @ 12:01 am
Tags: , ,
Barometric pressure

Barometric pressure

Change, be it geologically imperceptible or earth shatteringly violent, shares the inevitability of both death and taxation. Time moves on, things alter, stuff happens; deal with it. When he wasn`t corrupting the youth of ancient Athens, wise old Socrates said: “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” He might have been a lovely little thinker but it`s obvious on so many levels that Socrates did not own and did not use a computer.

In the strange world of social media, information technology and the entire internet thingy, change is not just managed but actively encouraged to the point where it is repeatedly hit with a virtual stick if it dares to stand still for longer than the life expectancy of an unfunny hash tag. Which of us can honestly admit to whooping with joy every time our virtual partner informs us that “updates are available” when all you wanted to do was check the cricket score and exactly how many times a day does Adobe reader need to download a new version. Like sharks constantly on the move or vultures hovering until they are certain the beast is dead, internet service providers have gone beyond fixing things that ain`t broke to breaking things that ain`t fixed.

Forced change is a very different kettle of fish when compared to organic progress and natural development and ISPs seem determined to fiddle with stuff just as this dim technophobe has mastered the basics of sending an email. The problem is, you can`t complain because the stuff being provided is being provided for free and although I`m not happy with the new Google Maps, new Google Maps is better than no Google Maps at all. Time moves on, things alter and remember the damage that Laszlo Biro bloke did to the parchment manufacturing industry and the goose quill gatherers of the Outer Hebrides. The octopus ink herders of the Cayman Islands would not have diversified in commodities, bonds and futures without old Laszlo pushing the pens.

It seems like ancient history to recall the times when starting a computer involved switching it on, loading the cassette tape or floppy disc and then issuing a command before taking the dog for a walk, cooking a three course meal, eating it, washing up the pots and still have time to read three chapters of Cobol for dummies before enjoying a game of ping-pong in glorious monochrome. Times, and technology, have changed and we now vent our fury at people we have never met or are unlikely to ever meet because we cannot instantly access an image of a cat, a fake photograph or a report of a pothole in a street we have never walked upon.

In a relatively short passage of time, “social media” or whatever it`s called has gone from being trivial to an irritant and on to become something the powers that be are terrified of. Laszlo Biro`s invention might be mightier than the sword but a mouse is now capable of reducing elephants to quivering, defensive wrecks. Free speech in a democracy is obviously a very dangerous thing hence the unhealthy interest shown by the NSA and GCHQ. Two sugars and milk please and are there any Hobnobs left in the cupboard?

Our hearts might bleed to hear that Mumsnet has been hacked and our hackles might rise when we see the Farage barmy army demanding that accounts that dare to challenge or criticise bigotry be suspended and closed down. Self-proclaimed troll finder generals mercilessly troll anyone who disagrees with their narrow view of the world and what are probably very nice people are boring the bottom off news junkies with pictures of sodding cats.

I like WordPress. It gives me a platform to bore the bottom off nice people by complaining about pictures of sodding cats. It also offers the opportunity to spout my narrow view of the world and allows me to mercilessly troll. WordPress costs nothing and has to make money somehow so I will not complain about unsolicited advertisements slowing down the loading of the page containing my drunken rants. I doubt if anyone would be daft enough to click on one of the wretched things anyway.

Occasionally, visitors to this page may see an advertisement here. Ignore it, it`s nothing to do with me.

1 Comment »

  1. I’ve just got one thing to say to you.

    Now… about this weight loss thing you’re promoting…

    Bless you guv’nor

    Comment by BrownhillsBob — April 24, 2014 @ 12:08 am | Reply

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