The Plastic Hippo

April 8, 2014

Miller`s tale

Image via telegraph.co.uk

Image via telegraph.co.uk

Regardless of hysterical media frenzy, the fate of the Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport remains completely and utterly inconsequential and even if Maria Miller resigns or is banished to wander the barren corridors of the Welsh Office in perpetuity, there are plenty of thieving hypocrites perfectly qualified to take her place.

With the entire disorder spectrum of the press screaming for her blood, poor Maria is clearly a victim of lynch mob rhetoric not experienced since England gave up playing cricket and we need to consider why she is being singled out as a fraudster when the majority of her fellow MPs consider embezzlement to be a legitimate second or, more usually, third job. Ah yes, of course, Leveson and press regulation. (more…)

April 6, 2014

Return to sender

Via Beau Bo d`Or

Via Beau Bo d`Or

There was no ring of the doorbell or a knock on the door but the sound of a metallic slap was definite evidence of something coming through the letterbox.

Under normal circumstances, the addition of a bundle of pizza leaflets, a bin bag attached to a card inviting me to donate unwanted clothes to the provisional IRA and the offer of a one-to-one consultation with a “world famous” clairvoyant would provoke nothing more than a passing consideration of the fullness of the recycling bin. However, on this Saturday morning I was expecting a package to be delivered and so I hot-footed it to the front door in the hope of finding the long-awaited, small and expensive spare part thingy that would make my beloved wotsit work again. (more…)

April 3, 2014

Tipping point

Via ibtimes.co.uk

Via ibtimes.co.uk

It is all too easy to dismiss current television schedules as being filled with mindless pap designed to keep the nation anesthetised in a permanent state of compliant stupor. It`s easy because it`s true.

To celebrate the recent industrial action taken by teachers, we decided to end the day off in solidarity with the NUT by having a junk buffet family meal in front of early evening television. With Blue Peter now a distant memory, I was exposed to a game show that managed to fill an hour of sub-prime time with a game of shove ha`penny. Okay, the show did involve some general knowledge questions along the lines of “who was the author of Dante`s Inferno” and “what is a coat hanger used for” but the big money jackpot was dependent on a machine with moving shelves usually found in seedy penny arcades in run-down seaside towns. The inordinate amount of time taken to confirm a correct or incorrect answer to the question; “the Beatles came from which city on the River Mersey” is not there to build tension but to pad out this rubbish into an hour including commercial breaks. It`s taking a long time for the penny to drop. (more…)

April 1, 2014

Battleship Pitlochry

Filed under: Fiction — theplastichippo @ 3:04 am
Tags: , , , , ,
Via atlanticfilm.com

Via atlanticfilm.com

EUROPE ON THE BRINK OF WAR
Dateline: March 31 2015

As last ditch negotiations again end in deadlock, the crisis facing newly independent Scotland looks likely to spread into global conflict as Russia, Syria and North Korea mobilise their armed forces to defend Scotland from English aggression.

The euphoria and hope brought about by the successful yes campaign in the referendum back in September 2014 rapidly gave way to civil unrest as a minority of English speaking Scots became disenchanted with the new government`s policy of cutting links with the nation`s former masters in Westminster. Street protests grew violent when a proposal to adopt the pound sterling as the official currency was rejected and the Holyrood government set out legislation to enable Scotland to join Scandinavia. (more…)

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