The Plastic Hippo

May 18, 2014

Glib Dem apocalypse



Nick Clegg might be in possession of the shameless guile required to hype a public profile but he sadly lacks the arcane skill of necromancy. He has delusion, duplicity and self-interest in spades but unlike the Department of Work and Pensions, he cannot raise the dead and make them available for work. Having lost traction, credibility and trust, the Liberal Democrats are dead.

The man who made the nation`s toes curl with embarrassment by saying “sorry” is now desperately trolling media outlets by inventing stuff to take credit for things that don`t actually exist. His latest forage into Farage territory is to state the blindingly obvious fact that not enough houses are being built and that the government`s Help to Buy Ponzi scheme, or Help Yourself as it is known by property developers and greedy landlords, is a bit iffy. Nick Clegg has been Deputy Prime Minister for four years and voted in favour of creating a false housing bubble that will lead to ruinous inflation and catastrophic collapse just six years after the last collapse caused by, you guessed it, toxic debt.

Earlier in the week, Clegg said:
“Some of the things we`ve had to do have been difficult but what we`re finding when we get out on to the doorstep, people accept that without the Liberal Democrats there simply wouldn`t have been an economic recovery.”

Err…three things, Nick. What economic recovery, what doorstep and what planet are you living on? Would this be the economic recovery that rewards bankers and cuts taxes for millionaires or the economic recovery that makes Danny Alexander smile as he opens yet another food bank or the economic recovery brought about by Vince Cable giving away the Royal Mail?

One can only assume that the doorstep the DPM refers to is attached to the second or third home belonging to a Liberal Democrat MP as polling equal to the Green Party and trailing behind the kippers is hardly an indication of popularity. Coming second in a two-way television debate with a complete and utter fruitcake might just be enough for Clegg to secure a new job as an EU Commissioner but the possibility of there being zero Liberal Democrat MEPs this time next week might make the gravy train a lonely place.

Clegg went on to say:
“Where we get our message across, people are still supporting us and in some cases coming to support us for the first time but I totally accept that in those areas where we are not able to get out on the doorsteps we have our work cut out.”

At this point NASA lost track of the DPM as his message faded somewhere in the region of Proxima Centauri. The dying signal, however, confirmed that the Liberal Democrats will have their electoral work cut out in areas where they are unwilling or unable or just can`t be bothered to stand in local elections. Clegg`s words are disappearing into a black hole as his party collapses and are doomed to be remembered as the distant echo of a bunch of duplicitous liars that propped up an unelected Tory Party and for all the pathetic pretext and apology, they continue to vote against the common good of the nation. If tuition fees and the NHS sell-off are not damning enough, consider their disgraceful record on the bedroom tax and their complicity in terrorising people with disabilities.

Nice Nick, fearing annihilation, now blames “the government” for this and “the government” for that, creates bogus spats between fraudster David Laws and the unlawful Michael Gove and talks of fairness and moderating influence as if he is in no way part of “the government” and just a heartbeat away from the nuclear launch codes and a weekly meeting with the Queen. The inevitable demise of this loathsome excuse for a political party is likely to cause universal relief and a certain amount of celebration. Perhaps any Liberal Democrats left with a shred of decency or, indeed, humanity might wish to resurrect some credibility by forming another entity from the ashes of Roy Jenkins, Shirley Williams, David Owen and that other bloke nobody can remember.

Here`s a thought; if they did regroup, they could describe themselves as not nasty Tory, not ambitious Labour, not Green, not racist, but something called “Liberal”. Just a thought.

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