The Plastic Hippo

May 25, 2014

Farage 24

Filed under: Fiction,Media,Politics — theplastichippo @ 2:05 am
Tags: , , ,
Image via @ErrorGorilla

Image via @ErrorGorilla

Now that state broadcaster Farage 24 has declared Nigel Farage to be the winner of both the 2014 and the 2015 General Elections, the publicly funded station can return to its bumper, post-election summer schedule.

7-00am Rastamouse
Warning small children of the dangers of being foreign.

7-15am Purple Peter
Peter, Val, John and Shep the dog show you how to protect Tracy Island using sticky back plastic.

8-00am Grange Hill
Gritty teenage drama set in an expensive public school.

08-30am News
Update on how well Nigel Farage slept last night.

9-00am Daytime programme with “daytime” in the title
Two bland presenters discuss the contents of the Daily Mail with minor celebrities.

10-00am Britain in Bloom
Fridge cleaning tips for housewives with Godfrey.

10-30am Scrounging bastards
Hard-hitting documentary exposing the lifestyle choice of people born with disabilities.

11-00 Sport
Highlights of England`s victory in the 2010 football World Cup.

12-00 Midday news
Extensive reports on what Nigel is having for lunch today.

12-30pm Film; Zulu
Plucky British soldiers kill lots of foreign people.

2-00pm Dad`s Army
Plucky British stereotypes defend the nation against foreign invasion with hilarious results.

2-30pm Farage; the making of a legend
Documentary charting the journey from humble beginnings to saving the planet. With contributions from the global statesman himself.

3-30pm Film; The Italian Job
Plucky British criminals outwit the Mafia.

5-00 Pointless
Quiz show hosted by David Dimbleby where teams led by Andrew Marr and Nick Robinson are asked questions on seismology and when an earthquake goes from being simply huge to being so massive that it cannot be explained.

6-00pm Early evening news with Fiona Bruce (except London).

6-30pm Local news (except London).

7-00pm The One Show
Chris Evans interviews Nigel.

7-30pm Love Thy Neighbour
Some Romanians move in next door to a nice British family with hilarious results.

8-00pm Eastern European Enders
Long-running soap set in a Bulgarian cannabis factory.

8-30pm It`s a Knockout
Teams representing small English market towns throw things at immigrants with hilarious results. Hosted by Stuart Hall.

9-00pm The Black and White Minstrel Show
Music, laughter and the best in family entertainment.

10-00pm News
The very latest on Nigel`s bowel movements

10-30pm Film; Dracula
Hammer classic featuring a plucky British person driving wooden stakes into sleeping people in Romania with hilarious results.

11-55 The Epilogue
Nigel`s thought for the day followed by the weather including the names, addresses and contact details including useful location maps for gay people who want to get married.

12-00 The National Anthem and close down.

As part of its charter renewal, Farage 24 is very interested in your views regarding programming and your feedback is vital if the station is to be allowed to continue broadcasting. You can share your opinions by clicking on;

http://www.bbc.co.uk/complaints/

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