The Plastic Hippo

September 18, 2014

This is the day

Filed under: Literature,Politics,Society,World — theplastichippo @ 11:00 pm
Tags: , , , ,

imagesVHG6NOAK

The polling places have closed, the ballots have been cast and the votes are being counted. Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day but I have a bottle of Lagavulin, a huge bag of Twiglets and the day off tomorrow. By breakfast time, both the Union and I are likely to be wasted.

Shakespeare knew a thing or two about politics and statehood but even his fertile imagination could not have conjured up such an incredible plot. If MacDuff were to ask “stands Scotland where it did?” the answer would be “no”, or possibly “yes”. For the first time, Scotland`s fate has been decided by the pencil rather than the sword and the biggest loser regardless of the vote will be David Cameron.

The first inkling of King Lear`s madness came early in Act I when he announced that he was carving up his kingdom and would give the best bit to whoever flattered him the most.
King Lear
“Meantime we shall express our darker purpose.
Give me the map there. Know that we have divided
In three our kingdom: and `tis our fast intent
To shake all cares and business from our age;
Conferring them on younger strengths, while we
Unburdened crawl toward death.”

When asked by a passing hack how things were going, David Cameron allegedly replied that assassination would be preferable to the week he was having. Perhaps the doomed Prime Minister had in mind John of Gaunt in Richard II;
“This royal throne of kings, this sceptre isle,
This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,
This other Eden, demi-paradise,
This fortress built by Nature for herself
Against infection and the hand of war,
This happy breed of men, this little world,
This precious stone set in the silver sea,
Which serves it in the office of a wall
Or as a moat defensive to a house,
Against the envy of less happier lands, –
This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England.”

If the vote is for independence, Cameron will be lucky to survive the weekend. If the vote is to remain in the Union, his promise of free money will result in his backbenchers forcing his removal before bonfire night. The rustling of paper you hear is not ballot papers being counting but the sound of government announcements being released overnight safe in the knowledge that they will go unnoticed.

If Alex Salmond becomes the new Thane, Shakespeare has already written his acceptance speech;
Malcolm

“We shall not spend a large expense of time
Before we reckon with your several loves
And make us even with you. My thanes and kinsmen,
Henceforth be earls, the first that ever Scotland
In such honour named. What`s more to do,
Which would be planted newly with the time,
As calling home our exiled friends abroad
That fled the snares of watchful tyranny,
Producing forth the cruel ministers
Of this dead butcher and his fiend-like queen,
Who, as `tis thought, by self and violent hands
Took off her life; this, and what needful else
That calls upon us, by grace of grace,
We will perform in measure, time and place.
So, thanks to all at once and to each one,
Whom we invite to see us crowned at Scone”.

Flourish, exeunt.

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