The Plastic Hippo

January 20, 2015

We have a problem

Filed under: Faith,Health,Media,Politics — theplastichippo @ 2:30 am
Tags: , , , , ,
Image via Reuters

Image via Reuters

To mock a politician for his or her physique, appearance, weight or any other irrelevant corporal attribute is beneath contempt and has no place in serious political engagement. Eric Pickles has suffered no end of childish insults regarding his ample girth but there is much more to the Communities Secretary than simple being overweight. He might be a fat bastard, but he is also an ugly, stupid, fat bastard.

He is an ugly bastard because the day before he wrote to 1,000 Muslim clerics and other leaders telling them that they should be responsible for “explaining and demonstrating how faith in Islam can be part of British identity”; he and the Home Secretary held up signs proclaiming “Je Suis Juif”. To suggest that Islam and British identity are mutually exclusive is on a par with blaming British Jews for the Israeli atrocities currently taking place in Gaza. Using his own logic, Eric Pickles and Theresa May are guilty of war crimes against children. They have publicly stated without any thought of an impending election; “Je Suis Juif”.

The need to blame Islam for the actions of three deranged criminals in Paris will, no doubt, result in further letters from Pickles to other faith leaders. The letter to the Dalai Lama is in the post telling him to stop Buddhists killing Muslims in Myanmar and the Pope will be summoned to London to explain the actions of the IRA. The whole priest thing can wait until after the Child Sexual Abuse inquiry is forgotten about. Hindu leaders will receive a stiff letter telling them to cease the practice of Yoga in Britain as too many middle-aged women are doing their backs in and placing an unbearable strain on NHS A&E departments. The Archbishop of Canterbury waits in fear of the postman as the letter asking him to explain the Crusades, colonialism, the UVF, the EDL and the Farage creature is destined to fall onto his “Keep Calm and Don`t Panic” doormat. The Chief Rabbi is, of course, nothing to do with Israel.

Eric Pickles is a stupid bastard because he is making things so much worse. The last thing you do in attempting to eradicate “radicalisation” is to demonise people as being radical. If you are young, hungry, abandoned by the state and angry, it doesn`t matter which flag you fly or which badge you wear or which symbol you worship. Eric Pickles should address those issues rather than squirting four star unleaded onto a growing bonfire.

Eric Pickles is a fat bastard simply because he is fat in the way that Wales is the equivalent of a country the size of Wales and 22 people kicking a ball about requires the area roughly the size of a football pitch. He is taller than the Eiffel Tower and weighs more than three jumbo jets. These statistics are courtesy of the BBC.

When the ugly, stupid, fat bastard finally keels over due to his lifestyle choice of being ugly, stupid and fat, perhaps he will spend the hours waiting for an ambulance and the days waiting for a hospital bed to reflect upon the wise words of his Prime Minister. When asked about the Pickles letter to Mosques, Cameron said:
“Anyone frankly reading this letter who has a problem with it, I think really has a problem”.

These people govern us; we have a problem.

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