The Plastic Hippo

January 26, 2015

Dead men tell no tales

Filed under: Faith,Literature,Media,Politics,Rights,World — theplastichippo @ 1:00 am
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Kings of Leon

Kings of Leon

”The grave`s a fine and private place,
But none, I think, do there embrace.”
Andrew Marvell – To His Coy Mistress

So, farewell then Abdullah bin Abdulaziz Al Saud, King of Saudi Arabia and Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques. Time`s winged chariot has crossed the deserts of vast eternity and finally arrived in Riyadh. The touching tributes and moving obituaries delivered by state media described him as a moderniser, a reformer, a moderate, a humanitarian and a champion of women`s rights. The state media in this case was the BBC and the Union Flag flew at half mast over the Palace of Westminster as a mark of respect to honour the life and cheque book of this great man.

Taken at the tragically young age of 90 and with the rest of his life still in front of him, the adored King leaves numerous wives, a coach load of Princes and Princesses and a grief stricken court scattered across various Mayfair casinos. Like his father before him, he ruled with a sword of steel and a sword of flesh and inherited a kingdom awash with oil and very little else. A deeply religious man, his knowledge of an ancient holy book was complete and righteous. He could recite by heart the verses that instruct us to behead women in public squares, administer 1,000 lashes to anyone who dares to think and ensure that women should never, ever be let near an internal combustion engine. If he were alive today he would tell us that it says so in the ancient book so it must be true.

Western leaders are heartbroken and are rushing to pay their respects to a recently filled in hole in the ground and to ensure that his successor continues to supply all that lovely oil and continues to spend all that lovely money on all those lovely armaments. There will be no anti-Islamic rhetoric from David Cameron as he showcases the very latest cat o` nine tails and bespoke beheading swords developed by BAe systems and available to trusted allies at a very reasonable price. Now that King Abdullah is dead, we will never know why he has kept four of his daughters under house arrest for 13 years or how much bribe money changed hands in arms deals or who was responsible for the military coup in Egypt that crushed the Arab Spring or how the murderous Islamic State seem to be so well funded. With nine state-ordered beheadings in January alone and about 60 last year, the butchers of Islamic State have a lot of catching up do if they are to win a barbarity contest with Saudi Arabia.

So, farewell then Lord Brittan. The touching tributes and moving obituaries delivered by state media described him as a great intellect and a dedicated public servant. With the likes of Norman Lamont and John Selwyn Gummer offering tearful eulogies, it seems that Leon Brittan was a lovely man who was always kind to puppies, children, old ladies, violinists and Kidderminster. Now that he is dead, another perfectly good reason for deliberate governmental sabotage to delay indefinitely the Child Abuse Inquiry is ticked off the list. With the population living longer, it`s not just the NHS under pressure. Pity the poor Home Secretary and her understandable coyness as she desperately searches for spanners to drop into the works or for grass long enough hide all manner of unspeakable depravity. A token inquiry will take place only when the guilty are safely dead.

The Leveson Inquiry terrified the elite and it is clear that such foolish scrutiny must never happen again. Consider the Chilcot Inquiry into an illegal war that probably resulted in the unwelcome rise of Islamic State, lots of dead civilians, traumatised military personnel and utter chaos in the Middle East. Judging by recent TV footage, we might not have to wait very long before Tony Blair pops his clogs but Jack Straw and Alistair Campbell seem fit, healthy and in a position to enjoy a long and happy retirement so don`t hold breath regarding publication.

With great power comes great responsibility and, when necessary, the opportunity to get away with just about anything including in some cases, murder. We can only hope that Leon Brittan`s death certificate has been “retained” rather than shredded like the dossier naming child rapists that was handed to him and the unfortunate photographs taken inside the now infamous Elm Guest House.

It`s been a busy week at the reception desk at the Gates of Hell. It would be a terrible injustice if Lord Brittan was delayed in meeting his maker due to an administrative error and being stuck in the queue with a dark-age warlord. The grave, however, is a fine and private place and, as Leon Brittan knew all too well, so is Dolphin Square and so is the Carlton Club.

Dead men don`t tell tales and dead men don`t face justice

1 Comment »

  1. Violinists and Kidderminster.

    Savour that.


    Comment by BrownhillsBob — January 26, 2015 @ 1:31 am | Reply

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