The Plastic Hippo

February 8, 2015

In off the Broon

Filed under: Politics,Science,Society,World — theplastichippo @ 3:00 am
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Dog

Dog

Globalization, for all its efficacious benefits, has resulted in some odd consequences. Once we realise that a reduction in the milk chocolate content in a Cadbury Cream Egg is nothing more than a marketing ploy to flog Easter confections in January, we can understand that global economics is not a plot but is merely market driven.

Consider the latest marketing ploy regarding Newcastle Brown Ale. The pride of the Tyne and Student Union favourite; this fine ale once slaked the thirsts of coal miners, shipwrights and engineers. Sadly, ships are now built in Taiwan and coal is carried to Newcastle all the way from China. However, unlike the Silk Road or the Slave Trade, it`s not all one way traffic. (more…)

February 5, 2015

Selective Amnesia

I`m not as drink as thinkle peep I am.

I`m not as drink as thinkle peep I am.

There is more to Ed Balls than an inherently funny name and there is much to criticise beyond him forgetting some bloke`s name on a late-night TV interview after a long day and a few glasses of Pinot Gris. Conflating a lapse of memory as evidence of a dastardly political plot to undermine capitalism is on a par with accusing David Cameron of child neglect because he forgot to take his daughter home from the pub after a photo opportunity.

It is absurd to score childish points over simple human mistakes when real failings are being ignored. Cameron is proving to be the most disastrous Prime Minister in history and Balls has only been spared the ignominy of being remembered as the worst Education Secretary ever by having the good fortune to be succeeded by the very strange Michael Gove. Balls current opposite number, almost certainly a half-wit, remains unchallenged on his blatant lies and his unfortunate habit of turning up at the House of Commons apparently off his face on what might, or might not, be a major contributor to the gross national product of both Peru and Colombia. Still, at least George Osborne can remember the names of Tory donors by adding “Sir” or “Lord”. (more…)

February 3, 2015

Stop it

Filed under: Education,Media,Politics — theplastichippo @ 2:59 pm
Tags: , , , ,
No Mr Cameron, it`s not witchcraft, it`s called physics.

No Mr Cameron, it`s not witchcraft, it`s called physics.

Not that any of them will listen but please, please, please cabinet ministers and shadow cabinet ministers; stop organising photo opportunities in classrooms. You do not belong there – the teacher does not want you there – the Head teacher wishes you would go away – the parents hate you – the children are terrified of you and, if you are honest for a change, you will admit that you don`t want to be there either.

Spare yourselves from the toe-curling embarrassment of asking a child what he or she has learnt today. Free yourself of having to endure the torture of forcing a smile upon some scrounging infant or nodding intensely when a Classroom Assistant tells you that the children he or she supports are coming to school hungry and cold. (more…)

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