The Plastic Hippo

April 7, 2015

The silence of the lambs

Filed under: Politics — theplastichippo @ 2:00 am
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Image via Leon Neal and Getty Images

Image via Leon Neal and Getty Images

The three secrets to cooking up a perfect Moroccan Lamb Tagine are ensuring the right balance of herbs and spices used for the marinade, choosing a suitable cut of meat and allowing enough time for preparation and cooking.

Mix together paprika, cayenne pepper, ground ginger, turmeric, ground black pepper and cinnamon in a bowl. When thoroughly combined, divide the spice mixture into two halves. Alternatively, mix up some invented statistics, a large pinch of salt, fudge, deception, a smear of panic, raw greed and a little Cameron in a slop bucket. Then divide the nation into the few enjoying a rich sauce and the many getting by on a diet of gruel and taxes. These more exotic alternative ingredients might be difficult to obtain but a visit to your local fear and hate mongers should prove to be successful. (more…)

April 5, 2015

Ambassador, you are really spoiling us



Even after less than a week and with the Easter egg feeding frenzy in full flow, the election campaign is spoiling us with irresistible treats of ludicrous hysteria and delicious confections lovingly crafted in abject desperation. Having triumphed at the rather ridiculous television debate by being marginally less evasive than her male counterparts, Nicola Sturgeon has managed to frighten the life out of Cameron and Miliband. (more…)

April 2, 2015

Five weeks to go

Wisgi Cymreig

Wisgi Cymreig

Only three days in, the proper general election campaign has already descended down a rabbit-hole to not just live next door to Alice, but to maliciously cohabitate with the intent of defrauding benefits from the Department of Work and Pensions. Surreal does not even begin to describe what the bloody hell is going on.

Back in the early hours of Monday morning, what better way to mark the passing of something awful than to raise a glass of something lovely and irrefutably Scottish. Thus, at one minute past midnight on the second day of British Summer Time, a celebratory Lagavulin was sipped in thanks and relief at the dissolution of the most woeful parliament in living memory. A second glass was raised in trepidation at what might come next. (more…)

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