The Plastic Hippo

May 28, 2015

Pull the other one

Filed under: Fiction — theplastichippo @ 2:04 am
Tags: , , ,
All in this together

All in this together

Hang on a minute; just run that by me again. You are telling me that an incredibly wealthy woman of German decent who is reliant on state benefits travelled about a mile in a gold coach with her Greek husband to “open” the law-making assembly of the United Kingdom.

You are also saying that she was wearing a 10 metre long ermine cloak and a crown covered in diamonds, rubies, emeralds, sapphires and pearls and sat on a gold throne to inform her “subjects” that “her government” is going to pass laws to take away employment rights, civil liberties, social housing and will continue to make the vast majority of the lives of her “subjects” thoroughly miserable during the next five years. Suggesting that Michael Gove dressed up as Baron Hardup from the Cinderella pantomime handed her the speech proves that you should go home – you`re drunk.

I think it very unlikely that she publicly said:
“My government will legislate in the interests of everyone in our country. It will adopt a one nation approach, helping working people get on, supporting aspiration, giving new opportunities to the most disadvantaged and bringing different parts of our country together.”

That cannot possibly be correct. One nation? Aspiration? Opportunities? Together? You`re having a laugh, ain`t ya? This bunch have done more to crush ambition and divide the nation than any government since Oliver Cromwell.

“To give new opportunities to the most disadvantaged, my government will expand the Troubled Families programme and continue to reform welfare, with legislation encouraging employment by capping benefits and requiring young people to earn or learn.”

Oh now come on. This translates as “work for peanuts or starve” and learn by running up a massive, inflated debt at the hands of government licensed loan sharks before students even have a sniff of the jobs market. Perhaps the Hausfrau should take a look at her own kids before she starts calling the rest of us troubled families.

“Legislation will be brought forward to improve schools and give every child the best start in life, with new powers to take over failing and coasting schools and create more academies.”

Yeah right; schools are not “coasting” and are failing because of an obsession with preposterous targets and chronic underfunding. Academies and Free Schools have been an unmitigated and expensive disaster.

“Measures will also be brought forward to promote social cohesion and protect people by tackling extremism. New legislation will modernise the law on communications data, improve the law on policing and criminal justice, and ban the new generation of psychoactive drugs.”

You really are away with fairies now. So anyone who does not agree with this bloody awful government is considered an extremist which is justification for mass state surveillance of all electronic communication and, in an emasculated legal system, no chance of a fair trial. Baron Hardup is now in charge of the law; look what he did to education.

Look mate, I really think you should ask for some counselling to sort out these stories that are in your head. They are not believable and this sort of pantomime villain government could never, ever exist in 21st century Britain.

If I didn`t know you better, I would think that you were on a new generation of psychoactive drugs.

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