The Plastic Hippo

July 27, 2015

Shut up Tony Blair

Number 10 syndrome

Number 10 syndrome

Trend analysis is not an exact science or, indeed, an actual science but when a former Prime Minister is quoted it does not require Heisenberg`s uncertainty principle to deduce a high probability that the speaker has gone stark, raving bonkers. Although by no means conclusively true, it would appear that the highest office of state carries the risk of sending the post holder round the bend. A quick trend analysis of British Prime Ministers since Suez offers a salutary warning to those ambitious for power.

After spending years in the shadow of Churchill, Anthony Eden`s short premiership came to an ignominious end after an ill-judged military adventure in the Middle East. Eden suffered a series of complex and serious medical conditions and through no fault of his own was prescribed Benzedrine and Drinamyl. We now know that these drugs cause paranoia, hallucination and a disengagement from reality. It has been suggested that Suez was such a disaster because Eden was, to use the correct medical term, “completely off his face” throughout the crisis. The poor man died as recently as 1977 but, to his credit, did not offer any opinions in public.

His successor, Harold Macmillan lasted a good six years before ill health and the Profumo affair laid him low but even in retirement he could not resist offering barbed attacks on Harold Wilson and even, when in his dotage, the blessed Margaret Thatcher. Alec Douglas-Home did not last long enough to trouble historians and retreated to his Scottish castle to shoot things, drink single malt and maintain a dignified if aristocratic silence.

Wilson replaced him, followed by Edward Heath and then Wilson again. We may never discover the what was going on inside Edward Heath`s head or what he was up to in his private life but he ended his days a bitter and rather twisted individual. Lobbing snide comments at anything that moved including the electorate and the blessed Margaret, he died alone in the belief that he was Britain`s greatest Prime Minister. Harold Wilson suddenly resigned in 1976 suffering from colon cancer and early onset Alzheimer`s disease. He died in 1995 a few months before Alec Douglas-Home and like his former rival, had the good sense to keep his retirement opinions to himself.

After a comparatively civilized leadership election, Uncle Jim Callaghan became Prime Minister until he was stitched up by some very unpleasant Trade Union leaders who, through sheer stupidity, allowed the invention of Thatcherism. Callaghan, however, bucked the former Prime Ministerial trend and remained unusually cogent yet mercifully silent right up until his demise. It is now generally accepted that Mrs Thatcher also succumbed to dementia but it is uncertain if this dreadful condition began during her time in office or after she had been stitched up by some very unpleasant underlings.

Her decline led to the rise of John Major who seemed like a sensible sort of chap. It is only when you consider the words “Edwina Currie” that his mental capacity needs to be re-evaluated. The very thought of that particular liaison if correctly channelled could reduce population growth across the planet. Then came Tony Blair; oh dear…Tony Blair.

After Blair came Brown and then Cameron. Brown was doing well in the wilderness until he was tempted to strut about during the Scottish referendum campaign in a desperate attempt to secure a “No” vote. It worked and Labour is now unelectable in Scotland. Cameron is an in-bred minor aristocrat, congenital liar and full time idiot. But back to Tony Blair;

After an ill-judged military adventure in the Middle East, Blair covered his tracks and became, of all things, a “peace envoy” in the Middle East. Charging a six figure fee to make a speech and “advising” various despots and crooked corporations, life out of office is certainly more lucrative for Mr Blair. At least Anthony Eden had the basic decency to keep his gob shut.

As the Labour Party collectively climbs into the Moulinex in order to elect a new leader, up pops Blair with bizarre Star Trek references intended to lecture those eligible to vote that a vote from the heart for a socialist candidate requires a heart transplant. The negative briefings, the smears, name calling and toxic bitterness of this leadership contest will continue until September 12th by which time the Conservative Party will have won the 2020 general election. The only people laughing are those that are led by an in-bred minor aristocrat, congenital liar and full time idiot.

Jeremy Corbyn might be a naive fool but he seems to represent what the Labour Party once was…you know…on the side of the poor, the working poor and the disadvantaged. He only just made it to the ballot paper because some Labour MPs remembered what the Labour Party is actually for yet now he is seen as a dangerous subversive that will plunge us all into Marxist anarchy because there is a possibility that he just might win. The latest madness suggests that the election should be called off because “infiltrators” are paying three quid to vote for Corbyn. It is becoming increasingly clear that the Labour Party is not fit to govern and blindingly obvious that it is not even a credible opposition to this vindictive and thoroughly nasty government.

For all his considerable achievements as Prime Minister, Blair will be remembered for winning elections but history might judge his success as being a duplicitous mimicry of Thatcherism dressed up as New Labour. Ditching principles and hard fought rights aside in favour of electoral success is a road map to the funny farm and calling socialists “morons” means that you are not a socialist. If Blair, Burnham, Cooper and Kendall crave electoral success, join another party. Perhaps they should become Liberal Democrats.

Perhaps they should look at the trend analysis and trace the trajectory of Nick Clegg. In the meantime, Tony Blair should shut the (whatever) up.

1 Comment »

  1. I could not agree more.

    In the past, Blair would have been expected to pick up a revolver, retire to a secluded spot and do the honourable thing. Instead, in the world created by New Labour, he picks up millions, shoots his friends and shamelessly intervenes.

    Lest we forget, the Labour Party used to have some connection with socialism, however tenuous. Of course, Tony put a stop to such nonsense, at least for a while. Worse, he put a stop on any debate within the party – an approach fervently resisted by one Jeremy Corbyn.

    Inevitably, after ‘Thatcherlite’ wore thin, New Labour were bereft of ideas, direction and policy. Brown tried to bluster his way out and failed.

    The gormless Milipede minor, himself a product of Blairite convenience politics, was left to pick up the pieces. For a man who could not find his own arse with both hands, this was already an impossible task.

    Enter the Devil, also known as Jeremy Corbyn. The man has repeatedly stated that he only entered the leadership election to stimulate policy debate. He has no ambitions to lead the Labour Party. It is almost certain that he will resign as soon as he wins.

    After all, he will have made his point.

    Comment by The Realist — July 28, 2015 @ 12:01 pm | Reply

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