The Plastic Hippo

August 2, 2015

Hakuna Matata

Filed under: Media,Politics,Rights,Society,World — theplastichippo @ 2:15 am
Tags: , , ,
The Lion sleeps tonight

The Lion sleeps tonight

There is no easy way to accurately define cruelty when the main motive for inflicting suffering is either a notion of misplaced necessity or some form of perverse gratification. Indifference to distress, anguish and pain is the province of governments who invariably spout the need to take “difficult decisions” before filing in the expenses claim. Imposing agony, torment and pain for no other reason than for personal pleasure is the warped and inhumane world of the sadist.

These two extremes are not mutually exclusive as we may or may not discover if the CSA inquiry finds its way under some very heavy stones buried deep in disused mine shafts. Governments find sadist useful when the need arises to attach electrodes to the genitalia of opponents or to starve non-productive citizens to death. In a competitive jobs market, there are always vacancies for torturers, executioners and Secretaries of State for Work and Pensions.

Cruelty to children, women and refugees is pandemic but another abused child, another battered wife or another dead migrant generates little interest when some inadequate rich man decides that he wants to kill a lion in Africa. Consider the fate of Cecil the Lion; wounded by a compound bow and arrow, stalked for 40 hours, killed by a rifle and then skinned. His head was removed as a trophy. Yet even in death, this king of beasts suffers the further indignity of the worst form of animal cruelty. The world`s media and the internet thingy are currently evacuating its collective lower colon in a frenzy of anthropomorphism. Mufasa is dead; who will care for Simba and protect the other cubs?

Already false rumours and conspiracy theories are circulating regarding the fate of Cecil`s pride and Cecil`s “brother” who may or may have not been illegally killed by another inadequate rich man clearly compensating for something. This is not the plot of the Lion King; it is the story of an anus on legs who thinks he will become more of a man by killing something beautiful that happens to be in possession of teeth and claws. Walt Palmer, a wealthy dentist from Minnesota might not have the skills of Walt Disney but he does have enough money to inflict suffering for his own pleasure. If he really wants to pit his manhood against the ferocity of nature, perhaps he should run naked through the bush with four or five antelope steaks dangling from his various appendages and then we might see how brave and invincible he really is.

Presidents and Prime Ministers have condemned the killing of Cecil and have criticised governments that pull out the finger nails of opponents and sell hunting licenses to rich men desperately clinging to the hope that one day they will discover that they actually have a penis. Our own David Cameron is outraged, outraged I say, at the death of Cecil the hard working lion who was simply trying to work to provide for his family after the mess we inherited from the previous government. As a sensible and hard working response, he is sending sniffer dogs to Calais to hunt down African migrants.

Calling a cow Daisy rather than the number 34 painted on the right buttock does not make the Beef Wellington more tasty and imposing human characteristics on animals whilst describing desperate human beings fleeing from war and oppression as “a swarm” is, to put it mildly, a bit cruel. Cameron seems to think that an inadequate rich man killing a lion in Africa is barbaric but an inadequate rich man allowing hounds to rip a fox to pieces in England is perfectly acceptable. British wildlife might prosper if the stupid animals called themselves Frank the fox, Brian the badger, Gloria the grouse or Patricia the partridge. After all, those clay pigeons can be pretty dangerous when they gang up on you and a man needs to do what a man`s got do and arm himself tooth and claw against the threat of nature. When cornered, a dove can give you a nasty peck.

Cecil the Lion, incidentally, was given his human name in honour of Cecil Rhodes, the founder of Rhodesia, colonialist, imperialist, exploitative racist, mine owner and everything that is good about hard working British entrepreneurship. Both Cecil Rhodes and Cecil the Lion died relatively young.

No problem.

1 Comment »

  1. Once again, spot on……gotta share!

    Comment by lightbluefish1964 — August 2, 2015 @ 7:36 am | Reply

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

%d bloggers like this: