The Plastic Hippo

August 6, 2015

Thanks a billion

Filed under: Politics,Society — theplastichippo @ 2:00 am
Tags: , , , ,


To lose one billion quid overnight may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose two billion quid looks like carelessness. It would be delusional, however, to dismiss George Osborne as lacking a fortune or of not taking care of things. As the Chancellor of the Exchequer he has, over the last five years, achieved many of the ambitions hatched during his time spent in inconvenient opposition. Far from being an incompetent oaf, the RBS sell-off and before that the Royal Mail sell-off proves that George Osborne knows exactly what he is doing.

Here`s how Osbornomics works. Take a publicly owned asset like RBS, the Royal Mail or Lloyds Bank and engineer a fall in share price to the lowest possible level. Then tip off your chums making an honest living in hedge funds and investment banking that shares will be available on a certain day offering a discount for bulk buying. Announce the fire sale the night before when the stock exchange is closed and flog the shares for a fraction of what they are worth. Your pals in the city buy the lot for a knock-down price and the share price rockets. After a few months the shares are worth three or four times more than the purchase price and your mates sell them at a huge profit. The share price plummets and after another few months you announce another asset strip and repeat the process.

Fortunately for Osborne, few observers have commented on the obvious flaw in the Chancellor`s scam. If, as he and others repeat over and over again that the UK economy is booming, why sell shares in publicly owned common wealth at the lowest price possible when in six months or a year the share price will be through the roof that he is so fond of fixing? But hey, what`s a billion between friends?

George has some form with shifting stuff at bargain basement prices. Apart from Lloyds, the Royal Mail and RBS, the licences for G4 telecommunications went for a song as did Eurostar and any day soon the East Coast Mainline. Coming soon to a government near you are the disposal of the Ordinance Survey, the Royal Mint, the Land Registry, the Met Office, what is left of National Air Traffic Services and even Channel 4. It is entirely coincidental that what was once a rather good television channel is now obsessed with disability hatred and the vilification of the poor. It is also interesting that before he clobbered BBC funding in his most recent budget, Osborne consulted with the Murdoch creature.

We have seen what has happened to the NHS, the legal system, social care and education when we are governed by vested self interests but what typifies this small group of very wealthy people wishing to make even more money for themselves is the sell-off of the Student Loan Book. After removing EMA and increasing tuition fees, the government is now selling student debt to the private sector in exactly the same way that toxic sub-prime arrears caused the crash of 2008. Once the sale is complete, graduates can expect a visit from two or three large men in Crombie overcoats and sunglasses representing a reputable firm of loan-sharks. Universities are missing a trick by not offering degree courses in tax avoidance sponsored by Wonga.

I have tried and tried to come up with a pithy simile or metaphor to describe what George Osborne is up to but I have failed miserably. Inbred moronic toff is not appropriate as he is incredibly shrewd. Criminality is out of the question as he is part of the legislator and it would be completely incorrect to suggest that he is a nitrogen breathing raptor from a planet somewhere in the Morning Cloud Galaxy. I`m afraid that the best I could come up with is that George Osborne is a little bit like a cocaine addict.

Clearly there is absolutely no foundation in the ridiculous notion the Chancellor uses, or has ever used, illegal substances and anyone that dares to spread such a vile and scurrilous rumour should face the full force of the law regardless of photographic evidence or video footage.

Rather than being addicted to short-term gratification, he seems to be addicted to long-term personal wealth with the added bonus of being cruel to people who did not inherit personal wealth. It starts off innocently enough. Just a little bit to help relax after a difficult day; maybe a bit more at the weekend to share with friends. Sadly, once the addict is hooked, a pleasurable habit becomes an obsession. He will steal from his family to fund his addiction and then start breaking in to other people`s houses to take their possessions to sell at knock-down prices to some very dodgy “entrepreneurs” in exchange for just one more fix. It`s tragic and these people need our sympathy rather than our loathing.

If we were to total up the cost to the common wealth that Osborne has delivered to his pals (the words “Donor” and “Tory” spring to mind) the figure would not be dissimilar to the distance between Earth and a planet somewhere in the Morning Cloud Galaxy. It would make the £12billion Osborne is taking from the most disadvantaged in society seem like a tip for the doorman at the Carlton Club.

Thanks a billion, George.

1 Comment »

  1. To paraphrase Churchill, how about ‘never has so much been taken from so many and given to so few’ ?

    Comment by The Realist — August 6, 2015 @ 11:11 am | Reply

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