The Plastic Hippo

September 21, 2015

Very British ad hominem

Playing the man

Playing the man

Within the occult dark arts coven of British politics, it is evidentially clear that former MP and novelist Chris Mullin is a witch and should be immediately conveyed to the nearest village pond to be dunked in order to ascertain if he floats or sinks. In the early years of the first Thatcher government, the then Labour MP for Sunderland South and shameless supporter of the late Tony Benn concocted a fanciful yet amusing piece of fiction entitled “A Very British Coup”. The plot of this far-fetched political fantasy involves a left-wing working class Labour MP by the name of Harry Perkins unexpectedly becoming a British Prime Minister.

If that literary conceit were not ridiculous enough, Mr Mullin`s novel then explores the absurd notion that the government of Harry Perkins is being systematically undermined, discredited and destabilised by a conspiracy hatched by MI5, the CIA, the IMF, senior civil servants and members of the armed forces and a particularly unpleasant newspaper mogul. The conspirators, it seems, were determined to stop Perkins enacting his policies of unilateral nuclear disarmament, the nationalisation of key industries, leaving NATO and ending monopolies in the newspaper industry and would use all means “fair or foul” to ensure his removal from office.

Mullin probably thought he was being clever by setting this scenario in the UK but he is obviously a witch because his novel, written in 1981 and set in the early 90`s uncannily predicts what is taking place right now in Greece and will take place in Spain if Podemos achieve electoral success. The Greeks keep having elections and Tsipras keeps winning which is clearly a form of democracy that is unacceptable to the IMF, the Central European Bank and other dark forces. It has absolutely no relevance or connection to the monstering currently being aimed at the newly elected Leader of the UK Labour Party by MI5, the CIA, the IMF, senior civil servants and members of the armed forces and a particularly unpleasant newspaper mogul. The novel, which is a piece of fiction and not an instruction manual, was adapted for television in the late 80`s when Channel 4 still had a modicum of credibility as a serious broadcaster and won a mantelpiece full of awards. Rumours are circulating that Mullin`s publishers have ordered a new print run and Channel 4 may release a DVD of this implausible and unlikely fairy tale. It has clearly nothing to do with Jeremy Corbyn. Well…on the other hand…maybe not.

The frenzy of Corbyn bashing has reached laughable levels of desperation even for the Conservative Party and its News International press office and, more worryingly, even for the Labour Party. The endless leadership campaign saw hilarious lies and instantly refuted smears that secured the “unelectable” Corbyn an emphatic and undeniable victory. It is worth remembering that more than 60,000 people have joined the Labour Party in the last two weeks making it the largest political membership in UK politics. These new members alone outnumber the entire Liberal Democrat Party – remember them?

Now setting out his stall with a clear mandate to set about this awful government, the hysterical arm-waving, foot-stamping and downright lies are becoming increasingly outlandish. “Riots in the streets” bellows a former shadow minister; “gives money to terrorists” says a Labour MP, “a threat to your family`s security” says the Prime Minister, “the army will mutiny” says an unnamed serving general (unnamed because the general only exists in the drunken ramblings of a Murdoch hack desperate to file some copy before the Sunday Times is put to bed on Saturday night). But apart from eating kittens, jumping up and down on babies and pulling the legs off spiders, Corbyn is guilty of perhaps the most heinous crime against humanity imaginable.

Like the majority of the England football team, he blatantly refuses not only to sing “God Save the Queen” but blatantly refuses to belt it out at the top of his voice at a memorial service. This cowardly and unpatriotic disgrace is proof that if he is elected then within a year Kim Jong-un will reside in Buckingham Palace and will be using his Gold credit card in Annabel`s and the Ritz. It would be interesting to know if all those patriots demanding that a song be sung as a duty happen to know the words to the second and third verses and, in particular, the now discarded fourth verse detailing the crushing of rebellious Scots.

The novel and the TV adaptation of “A Very British Coup” have different endings but both end unpleasantly. There is no suggestion that Chris Mullin in dreaming up the preposterous storyline was experimenting with hallucinogens in the early 80`s but there is nothing in his extraordinary imagination that can come close to the fantasy fiction currently bursting the Westminster bubble and driving news media outlets completely bonkers. They are terrified of Corbyn and will invent all manner of fiction in an attempt to discredit him. The temptation is to disbelieve anything said about him and believe everything he actually says.

With such an embarrassment of riches, the judges tasked with compiling the long list for the Man Booker prize for fiction will face a difficult challenge in 2016. In recognition of Mullin`s magnum opus the literary panel might consider adding his name to the list and whilst they are about it, add Charlie Brooker`s “Black Mirror”.

We live in very unusual times.


  1. […] a Walsall blogger, we ask: How far will the “monstering currently being aimed at the newly elected Leader of the UK Labour […]

    Pingback by Mr Corbyn beware: apologies and compromise are the ammo feverishly sought by the establishment media | Political Concern — September 21, 2015 @ 9:20 am | Reply

  2. It must be a no news week when a committed republican is asked why he did not sing the National Anthem and refuses to confirm his obeisance to the monarch. Nor have I, despite many opportunities and much approbation.

    As an atheist, I also do not sing the Lords Prayer,

    If only Jeremy Corbyn looked and sounded like Ray McAnnally

    Comment by The Realist — September 21, 2015 @ 12:37 pm | Reply

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