The Plastic Hippo

October 30, 2015

Trouble and strife me old China


He has only been gone a week but a grateful United Kingdom is already missing the wisdom, kindness, easy charm, wit and boyish good looks of the supreme leader and President of the People`s Republic of China, Xi Jinping. Since he`s been gone, it has been an uncomfortable week for Chancellor Osborne and the splendid deal he struck with China now seems to be a forgotten memory. (more…)


October 27, 2015

Where credit`s due

The end of the Peer show

The end of the Peer show

It might seem a little anachronistic that in the 21st century the United Kingdom should have an unelected second parliamentary chamber populated by children born into privilege and by those ennobled due to political and financial patronage. However, the House of Lords is more than an exclusive snoozing club for the elderly and bewildered and can occasionally hold a rotten government to something approaching accountability. (more…)

October 21, 2015

Prime Minister`s Answers

Order order

Order order

It would be erroneous to suggest that the strange universe occupied by David Cameron is governed on the basis of duplicity, distraction, disinformation and downright lies. These leadership qualities so brilliantly manifested by the Prime Minister are not, as some have suggested, second nature to the Right Honourable member of parliament for Witney, but are in fact his default position on just about everything known, unknown, secret or even in plain sight.

On the rare occasions when he is directly challenged by a supine media regarding some truly disturbing allegations, he is heard to comment that “a full denial has been made” even though no denial has been made. When pressed on a particularly tricky issue, he says (more…)

October 18, 2015

Fiscal Chartists



In 1838, a small group of dangerous revolutionaries published an insurrectional call to arms with the sole aim of destroying the very fabric of British society. The so-called People`s Charter made outrageous demands including voting rights for all men aged above 21 and the ridiculous idea of a secret ballot. The whining lefties also claimed that that it was unfair that only wealthy landowners could stand for parliament and petulantly demanded democratic representation and payment in the unlikely event of some working-class peasant actually being elected as an MP. These traitors also issued an ultimatum insisting on constituencies of equal size and, astonishingly, annual general elections to hold MPs to account. (more…)

October 14, 2015

Wanton boys



The absolute joy of existing in an infinite and expanding universe is the certainty that the space-time continuum will continue to throw up some astonishing surprises. Who on earth could ever have imagined that FIFA actually has an actual ethics committee or that Michael Gove would actually do something useful by reversing the barking mad decisions made by failing Grayling at the Ministry of Justice. Pensioners in the House of Lords might pay good money for being put to the lash but a pensioner in a Saudi prison might be bad for business. With friends like Saudi Arabia, who needs extraterrestrial aliens with vaporising death rays? Obviously the government will engage in a “dialogue” with the bug-eyed silicone based life-forms from somewhere beyond Alpha Centauri in the hope of flogging them some lovely weaponry. (more…)

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