The Plastic Hippo

November 29, 2015

Student Grant

Filed under: Politics — theplastichippo @ 4:00 am
Tags: , , , , , ,
Shapps image via BBC

Shapps image via BBC

Perhaps the most surprising aspect of the resignation of Grant Shapps is the startling fact that Grant Shapps still occupied an office of government from which he was able to resign. It seems that this fraudster, liar and two-bit conman has been drawing a salary as international development minister since the May election yet had strangely disappeared from broadcast studios and photo opportunities. Formerly the poster boy of a caring, compassionate Conservative Party, central office have done all in their power to keep him far away from public exposure as possible with, it has emerged, very good reason.

Before the election, as co-chairman of the Conservative Party, Shapps appointed a nasty piece of work by the name of Mark Clarke to run a campaign called Road Trip which basically transported bus loads of young hooray Henrys into marginal constituencies under strict instructions not to kick beggars or burn £20 notes in front of poor people. It seems that the whole project was a glorious pub crawl with all the shenanigans of a fresher’s week outing with the added bonus of a bullying sexual predator running the show.

Mark Clarke had been removed from the list of approved Conservative parliamentary candidates in 2010 after various complaints regarding his violent, abusive and perverse behaviour. Grant Shapps gave him a second chance and ignored further complaints from young Tory activists sickened by this randy old Bonobo. At the age of 21, the ambitious Elliott Johnson dared to submit a formal complain resulting in redundancy from Conservative Future, physical intimidation and intense systematic harassment. In September, he left three letters, took off his shoes, lay down on a railway track and waited for a train. The investigating authorities, with characteristic understatement, suspect suicide.

Mark Clarke strenuously denies allegations of bullying and interestingly also denies allegations of intimidation, sexual assault, blackmail and actual bodily harm and is threatening to sue the pants off anyone who doesn`t believe him. He has been banned for life from the Conservative Party. Kippers for breakfast Mr Clarke?

When a crook like Shapps takes responsibility and resigns on a point of principle, you know that something really serious is going down and for such a dishonourable shyster to bail out so quickly makes it certain that the Old Bill are about to come knocking on the door of Number 10. Shapps maintains his total innocence claiming that neither he nor the Conservative Party has any record of “written” allegations against Clarke and so knew nothing about the bullying, the groping; the incident involving a pool table or the alleged dislocated jaw during a particularly frantic if passionate encounter with a young, female parliamentary aide. It wasn`t written down, you see, so Shapps or Michael Green or whatever name he is using for his internet scams these days is completely exonerated.

Interestingly, the written complaints miraculously started arriving in August, a month before Elliot Johnson died and shortly after Grant Shapps stopped being co-chairman of the Conservative Party. Clarke, Shapps and Cameron have dragged out the rehearsed platitudes of “our thoughts and prayers are with the family at this difficult time” with all the sincerity of drunk drivers being caught. Cameron has ordered an internal investigation, presumably audited by Lord Feldman – the other co-chairman of the Conservative Party – which will no doubt conclude that the young man was emotionally unstable and his death was absolutely nothing to do with the way the Conservative Party conducts its business.

Any death results in sorrow but a young death, especially in desperation, is tragic. This man`s death might dominate the headlines and expose the inner workings of the political cess pit and the loss to those that loved him must be immeasurable. But, at the risk of seeming heartless, where are the headlines and internal investigations for those that take their own lives pushed beyond endurance by a vindictive and intentionally cruel government? When will Iain Duncan Smith resign?

It doesn`t really matter. For every Shapps and IDS removed, there are 50 others ambitious to replace them. In the image at the top of this piece, the young man sitting to the right of Shapps was a young man called Elliott Johnson.

1 Comment »

  1. Shapps/Green and My Lord Feldman will no doubt take some sort of rap.

    It will involve a quiet period of contemplation (or Purdah as some might call it). Thereafter, they will both return to their old habits totally intact – at least commercially.

    Meanwhile, Dave will shrug off this horrible episode as another unfortunate misjudgement by usually reliable and naturally gifted individuals. He will portray himself as a man who is, on principle, willing to sack his best mate and cashier his Chief Fag.

    He will, of course, avoid any questions as to his own role in their promotion and actions within the Governing Party. After all, every kids’ party needs a George to bully.

    Comment by The Realist — November 30, 2015 @ 12:05 pm | Reply

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