Brothers in arms

Even going as far back as the Book of Genesis, it is still pretty obvious that you can choose your friends but you can`t choose your relatives. Being born into what can only be described as an “unusual” family, the story of Cain and Abel is not a story that ends well. A certain degree of sibling rivalry is inevitable in any family group regardless of incestuous necessity but Cain managing to invent murder, treachery and a curse on the entire human race across three major religions is impressive to say the least. According to the established patriarchy, this should not come as a surprise given the sort of woman his mother was.

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Itish brethics

Via sheknows.com

It`s not clever, it`s not witty or even vaguely endearing and it`s certainly not as important or as significant as Bradele sweeping the board at the It Brawards. Simply prefacing the word “exit” with the letters b and r is lazy, trivial and a crime against both the English language and common decency. Only a complete brarsehole would invent a meaningless compound word to describe the most profound political decision facing this nation.

Patriots unleashed

Via Stefan Rousseau Reuters

With just four short months to go, preparations for the summer solstice have hit fever pitch with the announcement of a self-selected all-England Morris Dancing team to challenge the world. The six most honest, intelligent, hard-working and photogenic synchronised handkerchief wavers have finally stepped out from the shadow of collective ministerial responsibility and can now campaign for patriotism unfettered, un-gagged and, if the first 24 hour hours is anything to go by, more than a little unhinged. With Boris Johnson sewing flowers into his hat and strapping bells to his knees and elbows, English Morris Dancing is certain to enjoy a tumultuous resurgence.

Witney hold `em

Via Getty Images Alamy

Even if we disregard the blatant lies, the avarice, the duplicity, the arrogance and the sheer incompetence and if we forget the broken pledges, promises, pleas and piffle and if we ignore the bluff, double-bluff and triple-bluff, it is still possible to feel some sympathy for the Rt Hon David Cameron MP. It cannot be easy for a two-bit chancer, snake oil salesman and card-shark to invite himself to the biggest crap game in Europe and expect to be taken seriously.

Defying gravity

Via glamgrid.com

In an increasingly predictable and occasionally boring existence, there are very few things that can still provoke jaw-dropping astonishment. If the discovery, observation and actual measurement of gravitational waves left you agog with wonder, consider the utterly remarkable and almost frightening piece of reality that two weeks into February and with 12 matches to play, Leicester City are 2 points clear at the top of the Premier League.

Although narrowly beaten by Arsenal, Leicester are still favourites to win the title and on current form clever football pundits suggest that Arsenal were lucky to score the winner in the fifth minute of added time against ten men. Astonishingly, the Gunners were considered as underdogs and their last gasp victory is regarded as something of a shock. Once considered as lower league cannon fodder at the mercy of better resourced global brands, Leicester have spent the equivalent of the fines accrued from motoring offences by players at richer corporate entities.