The Plastic Hippo

May 26, 2016


This little piggy went to the Common Market

This little piggy went to the Common Market

Clearly David Cameron is facing a number of questions that require something approaching answers rather than his predicable, tiresome and carefully rehearsed weasel words.

Like all elected representatives in a supposedly mature and functioning democracy, the Prime Minister is answerable to the electorate at the ballot box but with questions regarding electoral fraud being firmly asked and robustly ignored, the certainty of legitimate parliamentary representation is far from certain. It is patently absurd to suggest that illegally spending pots of money in marginal constituencies during elections is anything other than an administrative oversight or an honest mistake which offers conclusive evidence that the Conservative Party still exhibits trace elements of the human race. Equally preposterous is the notion that by flooding marginal constituencies with young hooray Henrys dressed like their grandfathers and displaying a rather disturbing Bertie Wooster fetish, the voting intentions of the public would be swayed toward the nasty.

Suffice to say that the Conservative Party has engaged a team of expensive lawyers tasked with stopping the investigations of various constabularies into the actions of the Conservative Party. Rules, after all, are rules. Just ask the people with disabilities and terminally ill patients who have had benefits, support and dignity removed by a government that rules the pressing of a button on a microwave oven equates to independent living and fitness to work. The Prime Minister does not want to talk about it.

There are lots of things the Prime Minister does not want to talk about. His promise to reduce the national deficit by a half which has resulted in the doubling of the national deficit remains conveniently forgotten. Anyone remember the promise of no more top-down re-organisation of the NHS? Mr Cameron does not want to talk about Jeremy Hunt, Sure start Centres, the unfolding disaster in UK schools, food banks, child poverty, the housing crisis, young adult poverty, teenage suicide, middle-age poverty, tax evasion, old age poverty, daddies offshore millions or the reversal of endless half-baked policy announcements to try a placate rabid backbenchers who will defenestrate him on June 24th anyway.

Unfortunately, any questions directed towards Mr Cameron`s ability, competence, honesty or qualification for office are destined to receive the silent treatment. Instead, the Prime Minister insists on talking about Europe at every opportunity and the problem is that Cameron, and his increasingly addled chancellor, are incapable of appearing in public without telling great big fat lies. Cameron, of course, is not alone in peddling porkies and the level of invention cooked up by both sides of the referendum fantasy festival is as hilarious as it is risible. The bigger problem is that those of us who wish to remain in the EU find ourselves on the same side as Mr Cameron and the really, really big problem is that by talking out of his hat, Cameron is cheapening the remain argument and alienating undecided voters by allowing the leave campaign to paint themselves as innocent victims of bullying.

Cameron needs to quickly realise that the referendum on June 23rd is possible the most significant public decision in a generation and is not about a petty squabble over who will be the leader of the Conservative Party the following day. At least for the next four weeks, please be quiet Mr Cameron. Or, given the changing nature of his fluctuating relationship with Europe, we could try;

Seien Sie bitte ruhig Herr Cameron
S’il vous plaît être tranquille M. Cameron
Παρακαλώ να είναι ήσυχο κ Κάμερον
Por favor, silencio Cameron
Si prega di essere tranquillo Cameron
Gelieve stil heer Cameron
Prosím, buďte zticha Cameron
Vær stille hr Cameron
Tabhair faoi a bheith ciúin tUasal Cameron
Proszę być cicho Cameron
Vă rugăm să liniște dl Cameron
Vänligen vara tyst David Cameron
Sessiz Sayın Cameron olun
Будь ласка, будьте тихо Камерон
Os gwelwch yn dda fod yn dawel Mr Cameron

Put a sock in it, had ya gob, whist thee blather, shut your face, desist, button it, hush you, enough already, belt up, stop and in an unusual departure for this blog into the realms of upper case, SHUT UP CAMERON.

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