The Plastic Hippo

May 15, 2016

Lake Placid in the pixies



There is compelling evidence that suggests a direct correlation between prolonged delusional hallucinations and even the most casual or brief use recreational pharmaceuticals and or strong drink. Medical science has produced irrefutable data proving that even a tiny sip of demon alcohol or just a puff of the Devil`s weed from Hell proves a causal link to a lifetime of madness, surreal visions and nightmarish imaginings. Pity then, an entire generation that wake every morning to warped apparitions and are haunted at night by weird and unreal ghosts for this is the generation that decided to take acid in the 60s. (more…)

May 12, 2016

The representation of the people

Via M Bird of 82 Walsall Road, Aldridge

Via M Bird of 82 Walsall Road, Aldridge

Although it is tempting to tar them all with one, broad, sordid brush, it would be quite wrong to consider all politicians as nasty, self-serving, mendacious, opportunistic parasites. Given natural selection, the possibility of some form of innate human decency and the hope that bad people are eventually found out, there must surely be in existence some politicians who are not complete and utter bastards. With political hypocrisy currently off the scale that measures a taking of breathe and outlandish drivel being spouted as if it is in some way remotely connected to anything other than absolute garbage, a peek into the quiet backwaters of local government reveals an illuminating insight into the good, the bad and the very, very ugly. (more…)

May 9, 2016

Living by the sword

Cut and thrust

Cut and thrust

At long last, evidence of complete impartiality, balance, transparency and the highest standards of news reporting, accurate journalism and complete commitment to revealing the truth has been allowed to prove conclusively that the British Broadcasting Corporation offers astonishing value for money in covering breaking stories across the entire planet, Europe, the United Kingdom and, more importantly, the cabinet room at Number 10 Downing Street.

After years of unfounded accusations of bias, BBC News has finally laid to rest the preposterous notion that the organisation is in some way operating an agenda that ignores the wider United Kingdom by only focussing on the South-East, London and the Westminster bubble. In a tour de force of heroic reportage, the BBC has provided comprehensive coverage of a Labour party melt-down in local council elections; a Labour party wiped out in Scotland and a Labour party crushed in Wales. Rejected, humiliated and universally loathed by all decent members of the electorate, the Labour party according to the BBC is unelectable, dead, over, finished and a complete waste of space. Events in London are irrelevant when compared to the monumental disaster suffered by Labour in the regions and so events in London do not need to be reported as anything other than a meaningless side-show. (more…)

May 5, 2016


Filed under: Birmingham,Dudley,Politics,Sandwell,Walsall,Wolverhampton — theplastichippo @ 2:00 am
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Michael Fish

Michael Fish

Following a generally cool start to the day, Thursday will develop into a sunny day of plenty of warm sunshine and light winds with the best of the dry weather across England and Wales and a chance of temperatures reaching as high as 20 degrees Celsius in the South-East. A weakening weather front moving south across the Scottish borders might cause an occasional shower but for the most part fine, settled and dry conditions will provide the perfect conditions to exercise a democratic duty by going out to vote in a variety of elections.

There are lots of elections to enjoy. (more…)

May 1, 2016


Filed under: Health,History,Literature,Media,Politics,Society — theplastichippo @ 1:01 am
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Picasso sketch 1964

Picasso sketch 1964

O for a Muse of fire, that would ascend the brightest heaven of invention to describe just how bloody wonderful it is to be an Englishman living in these joyous times.

Firstly we celebrated 90 glorious years of divine monarchy dedicating a lifetime of hollow crown duty by waving a lot and having to endure the permanent smell of fresh paint. Then we commemorated our holy English values as epitomised by our noble patron Saint George. As with most versions of English history, George`s origins and ethnicity are a little vague. He might have been born in Cappadocia which would make him a Turk or he might have been born in the Roman province of Syria Palaestina which roughly translates as either Syria or Palestine. What is certain is that he was not born within the concrete O of the M25, he did not speak English and his dragon slaying activities took place far away from Albion in a place called Beirut. Crying God for Harry, England and Agios Georgios might make you sound… well… a bit foreign. (more…)

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